


Crossing the line

by AimiTachibanana



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Enemies to Lovers, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 47,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24819190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AimiTachibanana/pseuds/AimiTachibanana
Summary: After billionaire Phil Lester meets an unfortunate incident that ends him up in hospital with no memories, Dan Howell— a mistreated employee convinces Phil that he is Dan's working-class husband  to get back at him with the many hardships he faced as an employee. What could go wrong?Based on the film titled, "Overboard" released in 2018. I jazzed it up tho (:
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 43
Kudos: 81





	1. eyy

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to my betas: [Maki_Banana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maki_Banana) and [mie_tachibana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mie_tachibana) for putting up with me for 2 painful years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they meet.

Faint buzzing of a phone echoes through the large and commodious room. Phil Lester shuffles in his bed, his groan being muffled by the pillow. He stretches his right arm reaching for his phone on the bedside table. After successfully locating the item, he slowly blinks his eyes open. Adjusting to the bright daylight, he finally reads.

_Father, calling._ It displays on the screen.

He sighs in deep annoyance not wanting his sleep to be disturbed. A topless body shuffles next to him, stretching their arms. “Good morning.” The person—a man, says while yawning. “What time is it? It’s so early.” He whines.

Phil rejects the call, “Too early for a phone call.” he says and turns to face the man next to him. He slides his hands to the man’s broad chest up to his neck and jaw as the latter leans into his touch, “But never too early for a—”

A knock on the door interrupts with a timid voice following, “Sir? Mr. Lester?” 

Phil huffs and rolls his eyes. He retracts his hand and sits up then shouts, “Yes, what is it? I may live in a hotel but I never ordered a bloody wakeup call!”

“Good morning, sir! Sorry to disturb you so early but we just wanted to confirm the carpet cleaning schedule today? You instructed us to inform you about their appointment since you said they disturbed you last time—” 

The voice from the door was much louder now and spoke with such thick Irish accent.

“ _You_ are disturbing me this time, Séan!” He sighs. “Just, ok! Do whatever.”

* * *

“PT is best test for liver dysfunction.” 

Dan Howell keeps repeating at the empty pizza diner. He was already dressed for his next shift but he still had a few minutes to spare. He had earphones on, listening to an audio test reviewer. Hands both gripping his own hair, and eyes closed as his elbows rested on a table with an open textbook in attempt to concentrate.

“Daniel, honey. Why don’t you rest a bit?” Louise calls from the counter. She came from the kitchen and had just finished preparing, so she was also now waiting for opening time.

Dan doesn’t hear. He keeps muttering phrases and was now slowly pounding his fists on his forehead for every syllable as if he’s pushing the information through there.

Louise approaches Dan and puts her hand on his shoulder. Dan looks up at her and removes the earphones. She sits across Dan’s table and repeats herself. “You really should rest.” She gives him this concerned but scolding look on her face, one only a mother could give. “When was the last time you even slept properly?”

Dan laughs bitterly. “Uh, I don’t actually remember anymore.”

Louise’s face drops to a disappointed one, “That was rhetorical.”

Dan folds his lips. “Don’t worry, I will get my sleep once I pass the exam and slap my license to my parent’s condescending faces.” He starts keeping his notes.

“Yes, Dan. But I haven’t seen you genuinely have fun in…” She stops to count the years. “Since you graduated.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Oh please, I can’t afford to have fun. Or anything actually, let’s be real.”

“Are you guilt-tripping me to increase your salary?” Louise crosses her arms.

Dan laughs. “Did it work?”

“Hasn’t worked in the entire time you’ve been here.” She shakes her head, smirking.

“Can I at least get benefits from my boss as the best friend?”

Louise hums. “If you start dating that surfer who ordered Canadian bacon one time.”

“He doesn’t get internet humour, also might’ve been straight.” Dan stands up and starts grabbing his things. He checks his phone, “And I really need to go to my next shift. I’ll text you, bye Louise!”

Dan drives to a small but luxurious looking resort hotel. After consulting the receptionist, he feels a little embarrassed for walking in such an opulent hallway on his way to the lift especially with him dragging an industrial vacuum and other boxes of cleaning materials, but decided to shrug it off. He can pretend he works in this sumptuous hotel and not in a crappy carpet cleaning company. Alliteration intended.

Once he was in the lift, he presses ‘penthouse’ and sighs to himself, wondering if he could ever experience sleeping or staying in one. He was looking forward to seeing the place, though. He decides to text Louise about his excitement.

“ _You HAVE to show me_ .” He reads Louise’s text. Dan chuckles and _FaceTimes_ her.

He opens the door with his key card and was a bit out of breath by the size of the room. He leaves the cleaning tools by the door and starts exploring, holding his phone to also show Louise.

“Holy sh- Louise, are you seeing this?” He pans his phone to give her a 180° view.

He roams the entire lounge admiring even the smallest decors and then opens to a glass sliding door to reveal a garden. He passes by the garden and climbs the steps to a wide balcony and enters to see an en suite, he proceeds to the bathroom across the bed.

“This bathroom’s size might just be my whole apartment, Jesus Christ.” Dan was too distracted to think about how weird he seemed, ogling at a stranger’s bathroom—a rich one though, so it’s quite understandable in his defense.

He stopped at the sink, noticing a weirdly shaped device with a few buttons on it. Dan scanned it closely until he realised it was a remote control and quickly backed away, realising what _thing_ it controlled.

“Wait, go back outside. I saw something.” Louise thankfully interrupts Dan as he steps back from the bathroom and turns to see a shelf with a row of pictures framed.

“Is that him? Ooh he’s cute.” Louise coos at a picture of a man posing in front of the Tokyo tower. Dan scans the picture but gets startled by a man’s voice coming from the bed.

“That’s not even a good picture of me.”

Dan turns and clutches his phone to his chest as if the man hasn’t heard Louise just seconds ago. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Dan stammers.

Louise apparently doesn’t hear the man and doesn’t realize how audible she is in the wide and empty room and says, “Is he there? Oh my god. Ask him if he’s single and tell him you’ve been dreaming to go to Japan and that you’re also single and very horn—”

Dan scrambles to end the call before she could finish the last word. He glances at the man in the bed to see him already sat up and staring at him.

He wanted the world to swallow him from embarrassment but he also doesn’t because of the sight across him. The man was leaning on one arm, head tilted. His black hair was tousled and pushed back. He was shirtless, exposing his pale skin, with faint hair spread across his broad chest and was smirking at Dan. He looks like the start of a porn movie.

Dan doesn’t realize his mouth hanging open until the man chuckles huskily and starts getting up. His voice a bit raspy due to the fact he had just woken up, but Dan thought he still looked fresh.

The man picks up a pair of black framed glasses from his bedside table and stands up. Dan sees that the tall man was stark naked under the sheet, he uses a small towel to cover his front but Dan catches a glimpse of a childlike, almost whimsical cartoon tattoo of a small lion on one side of his ass. 

He catches Dan’s eyes staring and he says, “Now you know. I’m a grown man with a lion tattoo on his butt cheek.” He starts walking to the bathroom where Dan stood by the doorway.

Dan decides to keep the conversation going to avoid dwelling on his shameful predicament from earlier, and because this guy was really attractive. “Was that like, one of those bad decisions you don’t remember you’ve made?” he smiles awkwardly.

He pauses and shrugs. “Not really, I just love lions. I had a small plushie when I was younger. It was my favourite so I made him into a tattoo, and now he’s always with me.”

The thought of someone to still be so attached to a childhood toy made Dan feel soft. Then the man continues, “And well, lions are great. They’re brave, kings of the jungle but still manage to be cute, and it’s not hard for them to find a mate.” He approaches as he speaks and ends up in front of Dan, he does his best imitation of a cat with his face. 

_“Rawr.”_

Dan was at loss for words about his feelings for the past few minutes of interacting with this man, he can only describe him as… unique. The man was just as tall as Dan which was convenient, and he extends his hand to shake. “Phil Lester.” He adds with another annoyingly charming smile.

They shake hands as Dan replied with his name.

“You know, you’re very attractive for a carpet cleaning guy.” Phil comments after a few seconds of staring at Dan’s face. Dan almost blushes, avoiding Phil’s eyes of many bright colors—blue being the most prominent. Until he realizes the implication.

Phil continues, “Although there’s something about you as well…” He hums, scanning Dan’s features from his curly brown hair to his black trainers. “Yup, It’s your face.” He nods, confirming his observation. Dan feels piqued the more he continues, his expression going flat.

“I mean, it’s good. I wanna like it, but somehow it’s less than the sum of its parts.” Phil gestures from Dan’s form. “What animal do people say you look like?” 

Dan raises his eyebrows and before he could contemplate on his response, they were interrupted by a knock on the door of the bedroom.

“Sir? Your sister called the reception and gave me a message to tell you that she is on her way to the hotel.”

Phil starts to turn to face the door but the voice continues, making him stop his movements to listen.

“And chef Anthony has already prepared your breakfast. Shall I serve it here or at the pool?”

“Yes. Serve it there, Séan.” He was about to enter the bathroom when he stopped and added, “Oh and, fire Anthony when you return. His food is getting boring.”

“Should I give him a week’s notice, sir? His wife is expecting.” Séan asks.

“No need. I want a new chef tomorrow.” Phil replies nonchalantly and enters the bathroom.

Dan was left to process everything that just happened when a young man and woman around his age—he presumes were a couple—enters the bedroom this time. They were wearing swim attire but didn’t look like they touched the water.

Phil steps out in no more than slim board shorts and an open Hawaiian shirt. The three of them greeted each other fondly. The girl kissing Phil’s cheek and returning to the other man’s arms. _So maybe not a couple?_ Dan thought.

“We’ll wait by the pool, then?” the man asks suggestively while the girl chuckles with excitement.

Dan’s eyes dart to the three of them, growing more and more confused and uncomfortable.

“I’ll see you there.” Phil replies, in a sing song voice. He pokes both of their noses, making a ‘ _boop’_ sound before turning back to the bathroom.

Dan actually felt himself cringe.

Phil peaks back outside at Dan and adds, “Oh, and try to hurry. I’m pretty sure we’re gonna need the bedroom.” He attempts to wink and laughs to himself as he stepped inside the bathroom.

Dan was left standing in the now empty room to process everything that had just happened. He shakes his head to help him focus on his work instead. Whatever initial feeling he had with this _Phil Lester_ , vanished and turned to annoyance.


	2. hehe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan gets fired

Phil greets his older sister Martha, when she enters, with a hug. She awkwardly hugs back as they stopped getting along in such a long time ago. She then occupies herself by flipping her very light, almost ginger, brown hair and straightening out her blazer. Her features—reminiscent of Phil’s— remains impassionate, despite her curled lips that were red to match her stilettos— the vibrant color being a strong contrast to her pale skin.

As they both sat down on opposite ends of the small couch, Séan pours them glasses of some kind of cocktail that was yellow. Phil guesses it’s pineapple flavoured.

“I’m not gonna make this long, since I’m busy doing actual important things for the company.” Martha says as soon as she hears Séan shut the door after he left.

Phil scoffs. “I am doing great at this hotel.” He replies defensively like a child being challenged.

She tuts. “Hate to be the one to break it to you but you aren’t running this hotel, Father is. It’s just so unfortunate that you share the name and legally have the title without actually needing to contribute anything productive.”

“I’d say that is very fortunate for me.” Phil takes a sip of the cocktail and confirms its pineapple flavour. He leans back, making himself comfortable as he is certain this talk won’t be short despite his sister’s earlier disclaimer.

Martha looks at him disapprovingly and as if he just spilled lipstick in her Valentino white bag. “You really don’t care, do you?”

At this moment, Dan was about to bring his cleaning to the said lounge when he overhears the heated conversation.

“You can’t even pick up your own goddamn phone! —even if it’s father calling! I had to call the reception to get my message to you. You’re this irresponsible and to think he considers you instead of me?” She starts ranting.

Dan should already be aware that there are people in the lounge, he knew being none other than Phil and his sister, and that he should proceed to the other rooms while waiting for them to vacate, although he can’t help but be invested.

“I wouldn’t really come here if it wasn’t this important.” She sighs, trying to compose herself. “Father is sick” She stands up, making a sound with her heels and puts her hands on her waist exasperatedly.

Dan panics when he hears Martha's shoes and mistakes it for steps that approached the door he was eavesdropping in and so in a frenzy, he quietly but swiftly moves to the next room.

“That’s not even terminal!” Phil says, he doesn’t get why Martha would be so pressed over this.

“So you won’t check up on him because it isn’t, is that it? Don’t you at least want to see him? He was supposed to break it to us together but since you have no intention of being present, he just told me instead.” She starts pacing, like she was giving him a lecture. “That and so many obvious reasons should already be enough to convince him that you do not have any skill or sense of responsibility to inherit the company!”

Phil was surprised but immediately felt flattered hearing about his father’s preference.

“What was he even thinking? I worked the hardest, I have more practice, more experience and certainly more skill! But I guess misogyny really overrides logic, so now he just goes past his eldest and only reliable child for such petty rubbish like lacking the right genitals as an excuse. You shouldn’t even be an option with everything you’ve been doing in your dumb and wasteful life.”

Phil crosses his legs. “Look, I can’t really help it if it’s father’s decision to make me heir of the company and not you.” He takes another sip. “I hardly see how this is my fault, Martha.”

She scoffs and was taken aback but she responds, “I am telling you to get your shit together, Phil!”

* * *

Dan returns to the lounge after finishing the entire place leaving only one area uncleaned. He sees Phil alone by the balcony, simply leaning over and viewing the empty garden. For a moment Dan wonders where the people he was with a while ago, but quickly dismisses the irrelevant triviality.

“Excuse me? But is it alright if I’ll clean the lounge now?” He asks Phil from the inside, whilst carrying the heavy cleaning materials.

Phil hums in thought. “Is it marshmallows? Nah…” He says while still facing the balcony.

Dan only hears Phil mumbling so with great effort, he begrudgingly drags the heavy equipment to get nearer. “Sorry?”

“I can’t exactly grasp what it is. Something sweet, I’m sure.” Phil chuckles to himself. “Maybe a fruit?” He turns to his side, only half of his body facing Dan. “Is it tangerine or black currants?”

“Well…” Dan huffs, quite annoyed. “I wouldn’t really know now, would I?”

“Of course you wouldn’t. Get me a fruit salad from the bar.” Phil said waving a hand dismissively then turned to face the garden again.

Dan felt like a bomb with a really short fuse and the more Phil talks to him, the spark seems to go off faster. He uses his last bits of tolerance to suppress the rage developed by the stress and exhaustion from the consecutive sleepless nights that was waiting to explode within him.

He breathes deeply and says. “Right, I came here to clean your carpet, and I’m gonna do exactly just that. However, I can gladly run errands, maybe even give you a massage, but I’ll be charging extra.” He knows he was pushing on the borderline of being disrespectful to a client but among the other things he actually wanted to say, that was the politest he could get.

Phil turns to face him fully this time. “Really?” His tone was mocking as he tilts his head, and for a second Dan felt intimidated but he stood his ground.

“Well in that case, you’re fired.” Phil turns to his back again. He really can’t be bothered with another person who showed unwillingness. He knows how easily replaceable people are, and this one’s no different.

In disbelief, Dan’s jaw dropped. “You can’t do that.”

“I just did.” He shrugs.

The brunette marches towards Phil, setting down the heavy equipment he’s been carrying to his side. “You’re firing me just because I refused to get you a single salad from the bar?!”

“That’s right.”

Dan was still dumbfounded but when he properly thought about it, he felt relieved as he was technically freed from having to keep putting up with Phil Lester’s attitude. “Alright fine, I don’t care. Just pay me, and I’ll go.”

Christ, this guy never shuts up. Phil tries ignoring him but then he realised how the loud and annoying cleaner didn’t quite understand his point. He faces him fully again. “Listen, mate…” —He definitely forgot his name.

Phil stares directly at Dan. “I wasn’t satisfied with your service..." —he talked slowly, as if speaking to a toddler— "And that means, I’m not paying you anything.”

Dan felt the spark reach the end of the fuse.

“THE ACTUAL BLOODY TIT-FUCKING BULLSHIT ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING AT?!” Dan shouts, his voice octaves higher than his usual tone.

Phil jolts because of the sudden loudness. This man had the audacity to shout at him— in his hotel, in his room.

“Of the many fucking servants you have to get you your stupid salad, you just had to ask me! Oh, and forgive me for not wanting to assist your lazy ass because you aren’t even doing literally anything! Is your head really that fucking heavy, you can’t even get up and do shit for yourself?”

“Sorry, luv. This is just how the world works. You work for me, I tell you to do something, and you didn’t do it...” Phil pouts mockingly, and raises his open palms in front of Dan, emphasizing the metaphor of how clean his hands are in this situation.

Love? The nickname made Dan’s blood boil even more. “I’ve had enough of your attitude, you spoiled twat. I don’t give a shit if you aren’t satisfied with my service, and I’m way past pretending to be nice. I cleaned your goddamn place and I deserve to get paid for wasting my time in this shithole.”

“You've been shouting at me and calling me all sorts of names in my hotel yet I’m the one with an attitude? You can’t even do something really simple and you expect me to pay you? You really are pretty mental— and full of yourself.”

“Oh my goooooooood.” Dan curses at the sky. He crosses his arms and stares at Phil challengingly. “That’s it. I’m not leaving until you pay me.” Two can play this game, he thought.

Phil gets pissed off about how insanely irritating the cleaner is, he decides to get matters into his own hands. He sees the huge vacuum next to the man, he goes to pick it up, “I guess I’ll just make you, then.” —and he throws it off the balcony and down the garden.

The events happened too fast for Dan to properly react. He was first confused as to why Phil was lifting the expensive, borrowed equipment and the next moment it was thrown off the balcony and on the grass patch of the garden. He actually felt a weight on his chest simultaneous to the crashing sound it made in its impact against the harsh ground.

Phil turns with a smug look of victory on his face especially after seeing Dan’s wide eyes and open mouth in shock and fear of the consequences the latter will be facing.

Choosing this priority over his urge to strangle the man in front of him, Dan rushes past Phil down the steps from the balcony to the garden.

“No!” he whines, dragging out the vowel. He felt like crying in anxiety, exhaustion and anger all at once. He picks up the remnants of the industrial vacuum.

“No, no, no, no…” Dan chants as he collects the rest of the broken pieces of the machine. “You little shit, You’ll pay for this!” he shouts weakly.

Phil was about to turn back to his room when he stopped to say, “I already told you I’m not paying for anything!” He smiles one last time and continued in his tracks.

Dan looks down at the broken vacuum and before he could do anything else, the garden sprinklers started going off. He feels his clothes getting damper and he curses.

“What. The. Fuck.”

He sees Phil back on the balcony waving at him, mouthing the words “bye.”


	3. woop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the incident

After some time of cooling off from the stressful events of people shouting at him for a large share of the day, Phil decides to take a walk in town by himself. He was starting to think his long, grey trench coat and navy blue cable knit sweater still weren’t enough to withstand the night’s cold wind.

He adjusts his glasses and quiff as he debates whether or not to enter a pub he stopped at. The cold breeze that brushes against his exposed hands were enough to make up his mind and he pushes the door open.

The place wasn’t a disco but more like a lounge. It still had party music as ambiance and had the strong smell of different flavoured hookah filling the air but it wasn’t humid, because no one was actively dancing. People were mostly in their own tables having their own discussions and group drinking games, the music loud enough to drown out the clarity of their conversations but soft enough to make one without needing to shout. Overall, an environment that is very familiar to Phil.

Its walls had red, vertical neon bars scattered aesthetically which were the source of light. While walking, Phil thought they resembled the interior of a kill room typically shown in movies. He finds his way to the bar and easily made conversation with the people there.

Time flies by and he was deciding if he actually wanted to push his flirting further, to bring someone back to the hotel or not, because the alcohol was already taking its effect quite strongly so he might be needing someone to take him back, when he notices a group of guys eyeing him from outside. They had a sinister vibe, all huddled together right across his view on the pavement. The thought was quickly dismissed though, as he was interrupted by the cheer from the small crowd around him because of something hilarious someone probably said.

When Phil did have a someone to make out with, the woman dragged him outside and into the dark alley next to the pub, all rational thoughts gone as he practically oozes of alcohol by this time.

Phil notices the blonde woman pulling back to move to his jaw but his eyes open briefly when he realizes her absence. He could hardly keep them open to focus his vision on the multiple figures approaching him. There was a harsh sensation he couldn’t process quickly enough on his face followed by a painful stinging as he felt a forceful grip on his sweater’s collar to hold him in place.

The strong punch on his cheek helped shake what little consciousness he has left so Phil clumsily struggles to free himself from whatever was holding him. The men were not expecting him to start resisting so he caught them off guard. Phil gets released in such a force that sends him spinning to steady himself and find his balance.

Unfortunately, his attempt to stand upright backfired as it worsened the nausea in his stomach making it extremely difficult to hold it in, and causing him to throw up on the pile of garbage bins next to him.

“Pathetic.” One voice spat, then loud condescending snickers echoed. 

“I don’t think we need to do much. I mean, look at him!” One answered.

“I’m not complaining, lads. Makes the job simpler.” Another added.

Phil was already too weak to fight back and defend himself in any way possible so the men easily took him on and beat the crap out of him to leave him dead in the dark corner of a hidden alley. Phil’s vision blurs and the last thing he sees before completely giving into the pain engulfing him, were hurried running and faint screaming in the distance.

When Phil opens his eyes, he immediately sits up in panic and confusion. He groans after getting confronted by a raging headache followed by small stinging from various parts of his body that definitely had bruises.

Phil’s sudden movement alerted the nurse whose presence he didn’t notice at first. She put down the pitcher and the cup she was holding.

“Sir, you’re in hospital. You’re alright.” The nurse said reassuringly, she adjusts the inclination of the bed to raise it slightly. She then slowly guided his back to lean towards the bed.

“What happened to me? Why am I—?” Phil feels like his chest might explode from how fast his heart is beating.

“Sir, I need you to relax and breathe properly. You are in a safe environment. No one will hurt you, everything will be alright.” 

Her tone is convincing but not exactly enough for Phil to stop freaking out. Only a bit of tension is relieved because at least he knows he’s in a hospital, apparently. Questions continued piling up, though.

“We need to wait for your doctor. But first, please take a moment to breathe slowly.” She checks his blood pressure monitor.

Phil shakily takes a breath in attempt to stable his heart rate. The nurse turns to check his other vitals from the machine as Phil’s coherent thoughts start to form.

“Why am I here?” His gaze was determined and his tone was demanding for answers.

“You were brought here by a policeman on patrol a few hours ago. Says you were involved in a gang fight of some sort, judging from the bruises and how you were found lying next to toppled rubbish bins.” She pauses. “Do you recall anything from last night, sir?”

Phil’s mind goes completely blank when he tries to remember anything about those events. He scrunches his face then he realises he has no recollection of anything even before that, and that’s when it finally hit him.

_What is my name?_

His eyes widened and his head shot up as he starts panicking again.

* * *

Dan continues to fulminate while the TV flashed local news on the screen at Louise’s pizza diner. Louise gave him ice cream to temporarily pacify him but he’s too carried away with his feelings so the bowl hasn’t been touched. She was also very invested though; she was fuming the entire time while listening to Dan.

“That wanker got me fired, Louise!” He exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. “ _And_ I’m in bigger debt, because I have to pay for the equipment _he_ broke. Jesus, he literally belongs to the third richest family in the entire goddamn world. Repair for this machine probably wouldn’t even make a difference to his bank account ‘cause I bet he just has that insane amount of money casually sitting in his wallet.”

She scowls in reply. “Honestly, what a prick.”

Dan groans dramatically. “Ugh, I fucking _hate_ rich people. They always get away with everything.” He rested his face down in his crossed arms on the table.

Just then, Louise’s husband enters through the kitchen and says “I hear a really loud sod’s whining all the way from the construction site.”

“ _Shh_ , Liam!” Louise scolds. “He just got fired because of a spoiled young man with a deviously pretty face.”

“ _Oof_ , that’s rough, Dan.” He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and drinks.

Dan waves his hand to acknowledge the sympathy, face still buried in his arms. Though, he quickly raised his head and started to protest when he realised what Louise had said. “Pretty? Oh yeah… A pretty arrogant idiot who lives to fuck with people.”

Liam chokes on his drink. “Sorry, he lives to fuck people?”

“I actually said fuck with people, but that’s applicable too.” 

“Damn. I wonder what this lad looks like.”

“Doesn’t matter. If I see him, I just might literally break his shins because now I have even lesser time to study, because now I have to look for another job.”

“Sorry, man. You know my team can always use an extra pair of hands.”

“Thanks, Liam. I just really don’t think I can lift a single brick to help your construction team, I might just single-handedly tear down the entire building from how clumsy and uncoordinated my limbs are. Really appreciate it, though.”

Louise suddenly interrupts, “Dan, look! Wasn’t _that_ the guy…” She says while pointing to the TV screen.

Dan’s jaw comically drops when he sees the news headline. “Are you shitting me right now?” He mutters under his breath in utter disbelief.

“Ooh, turns out I do get to see his face.” Liam says while approaching them to get a look of the screen.

The news reports of a young man who was found at a dark alley, bruised from presumably a gang fight and with no memories of his identity. The reporter was asking for anyone who might be related to the man to come and get him. The hospital name and address are on the corner under the photo of a face he knew too well.

“That’s him! The fucking bastard.” Dan shouts.

“What was his name, hun?” Louise asks.

“Phil.” Dan’s blood boils recalling their first meeting.

Liam hums. “Not bad, definitely your type.”

“What the hell does that even mean? It serves him well he was ganged up on the street. I would’ve helped them strangle him, Jesus!”

Louise gives him a look. “Not helping, Liam.” 

Liam scoffs. “What do you want me to say? _Oh yeah let’s go kidnap him and collectively strangle him for the sake of Dan’s revenge!_ ”

“That’s not a bad idea actually!” Dan replies, riding with Liam’s sarcasm.

“It really isn’t, huh.” Louise hums in thought.

“Wait, what?” Dan and Liam simultaneously questions in shock.

She just raises her eyebrows at them like _they_ were the ones that said something extremely uncharacteristic and illogical.

“…You want to strangle him?” Dan asks, confused and quite scared of Louise’s dark side he seems so be discovering for the first time in their long years of friendship.

“No, pinhead. I meant for the sake of Dan’s revenge…” She begins to explain. “Liam, you have those false documents, right?” Louise turns to her husband.

“Wait, are you suggesting what I _think_ you’re suggesting?” Dan asks, still in thought. “If we… _kidnap_ him, where the hell would he stay? We can’t just lock him up.”

“Your flat, obviously!” Louise replies. “And we aren’t going to _strangle_ him. You’re just going to have your revenge by—”

“By enslaving that piece of shit!” Dan finishes, determined.

“Yeah, uhh… Does that guy not have any relatives?” Liam asks, still confused.

“He has a sister.” Dan responds. “I doubt she’ll come for him, though. I overheard them and she hates him because she wants their dad’s company or something. If anything, I think she’ll thank us for getting rid of him.”

“You’ve committed so much to this idea already, woah.” 

“Because this means I could have time to study while poor ol’ Philip could do all my other work! Let’s get all the documents ready, shall we?” He stands up.

“Dan, there’s one thing...” Louise says.

“What?”

“For all of these to work smoothly, this poor ol’ Philip has to be your husband in these documents.” She replies tentatively.

Dan blinks. _Jesus Christ._


	4. yee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan's plan in action

The nurse at the reception was weirdly relieved when Dan told her he was there to “collect his man”. He presumed the hospital was already full of Phil’s shit in just a few hours of having him there, he really _is_ a handful. And now, Dan was going to liberate the hospital of the nightmare called Phil, and let himself be the one to have the burden of having that _lil’ shit’s_ presence. Illegally as well. He was holding _illegal, falsified_ documents.

Dan was sitting by the waiting area, as instructed earlier. And because he was waiting for time to pass by, doubts and hesitancy are strongly clouding his reasoning. It was overriding his drive for revenge as the rational realisation of the weight of the mess was starting to settle in his mind. 

Before he knew it, he was panicking.

Dan stood up and quickly went out of the building to breathe some fresh air. He was thinking of dialing Louise to tell her how insane this plan was, or maybe just ask her to accompany him right now for moral support because he sure as hell has no idea anymore.

He regrets impulsively getting carried away with his emotions earlier that ended up in this breaking point where he’s stuck indecisively debating over the _what if’s_ and _but’s_ in this situation.

The ‘ _dialing’_ above Louise’s name displays on his phone’s screen as Dan continues to pace back and forth by the entrance of the hospital door, when a familiar voice he hasn’t heard in a while—and for a specific reason— calls out his name. He then cancels the phone call.

_“Dan!”_

He slowly turns his head to see a familiar face to match the voice. The man was wearing a plain orange shirt to compliment his tousled dirty blonde hair and had a 5 o’ clock shadow. Despite his loud call earlier, he had a look of hesitancy when Dan turned to face him. 

“Bobby, hi.” Dan replied unsurely, like he doesn’t believe this person was actually right in front of him.

“Hey, so um… How’ve you been?” Bobby rubs the back of his neck.

“Fine…?” Dan felt weird yet strangely comforted about this interaction. He thinks this could be a trap to once again lure him back to thinking Bobby actually cared for him, so he was cautious. Although, since he was in the middle of panicking, he really appreciated someone’s presence to ground him at the moment so he was willing to cling on to it for now. 

“How ‘bout you?” Dan finally says.

“I’m great, yeah.” Bobby replies.

The silence in the atmosphere meant it was about to start getting awkward so Dan took it in him to keep it from getting there. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Actually, I—” Before Bobby could continue, he was interrupted by another voice calling him.

It was a girl with long, red hair. She was waving at Bobby from the inside of the hospital. It took Dan a moment to realise. 

“Is she your...?” He suddenly felt overly conscious and started backing up to widen the space between them.

“Yeah, I just…” Bobby sighs. “I just wanted to check on you. We didn’t really leave on good terms.”

“I wasn’t the one who left.” Dan had a deadpan expression and looked straight into Bobby's eyes, he gave a sardonic smile before walking away.

As much as he was curious to see Bobby’s reaction, he refused to give him a second glance. Dan felt tears filling his eyes as he strode to the restroom. He felt pathetic. He stared at his reflection as he leaned on the sink.

Dan huffed and splashed water on his face as a way to tell himself to get his shit together. He took the envelope with all the needed files for his visit and went out of the bathroom, now filled with newly found conviction.

Before he could take his seat back at the waiting area, his name was being called by the nurse and was ready to lead him to where he could meet Phil again, not as a worker this time, but as his husband. It felt like time went on slow motion and he could only focus on how loud and fast his heart was beating, but Dan was determined. 

There’s no turning back.

* * *

At the recreational ward, Phil was quietly grumbling to himself while solving a jigsaw puzzle. He sees his doctor approach him and stop in front of his table, he doesn’t look up though, wanting to make it evident how focused he was in identifying the position of the puzzle piece he was holding. 

“Good news, your husband is here to take you home.” The doctor says with a grin.

“Finally.” Phil says, glancing up at the doctor slightly, then readjusting the new glasses the hospital gave him. “It’s about time.” He pauses and realizes. “Wait, I’m married?”

The doctor nods at the door and gestures with his right hand for Phil to turn his attention to. When Phil does, a tall man with a curly brown undercut peaked from the doorway of the ward. Phil noticed how everything the man was wearing was black, from his shirt, to his denim jacket, to his jeans and shoes. 

“Phil?” He calls meekly as he slowly steps in from the door. “Don’t you remember me?”

Phil just stares at him incredulously and says “I do _not_ recognize this man.” Then he shrugs and resumes to solve his puzzle.

“Tsk, I knew something like this would happen.” The doctor says and invites Dan to approach them. “Did you bring those materials I told you?”

Dan nods to the doctor then shuffles to open the envelope and sits across Phil. “I’m sorry, love. I know this must be very disorienting but look, here’s our marriage license.” He hands it to the ebony-haired man and he scans the paper.

“My name is Philip Howell?” He reads.

“Yes, and we’re inseparable! It was always Dan and Phil vs the world.”

“That’s bull crap.” Phil mindlessly discards the paper.

Dan's jaw dramatically drops, playing himself out to be flabbergasted of Phil’s reaction and turns to the doctor, who gave Dan and encouraging look. “We’ve been together for 10 years, love! Here, I have your passport, your birth certificate…” 

Dan flips through the documents while a particular picture from the files caught Phil’s attention, he picks it up. “We went to Jamaica?”

“Aww yeah, our first holiday together.” Dan smiles fondly at the photoshopped picture then met Phil’s eyes, expectant.

Phil had a disbelieving look the entire time. “Now I know you’re lying.”

“Phil!” Dan whines, then sighing, reaches for Phil’s hand with both of his. “Stop puzzling.” He pleaded.

Phil continues to assemble the pieces with his other hand. “I’m puzzling.” He answers dismissively.

“Listen, love. You and I got married 4 years ago, you proposed to me in Japan when we were viewing the cherry blossoms. We moved in together when I was still in uni and you were working at a video production company. Does any of this ring any bell?”

“Nope, nothing.” Phil replies with a deadpanned expression.

“On our first date, you took me to the big wheel because you said it would give me the best view of the city.” Dan chuckled falsely remembering the fake date. “Then we watched the sunset together on a skybar where we fell in love!”

“Sounds like you were a romantic, Phil.” The doctor grinned at him.

Phil huffs. “Right, okay...” He leans back on his seat. “I admit, I forgot a _lot_ of things. But I know from the depths of my soul, I am _not_ married to this man!” He says to the doctor then looks back at Dan. “So unless I see some real proof, I’m getting a slice of pie in the cafeteria, hmm?” He retracts his hand from Dan’s grasp and pats it. “Good luck, delusional boy.” He stands.

As Phil was about to make his way to the door, Dan also stands. “Wait...” 

Phil pauses and turns to face him, unamused.

“I really didn’t want to say this because I know it embarrasses you.” Dan says tentatively. “But, you have a tattoo of a cartoon lion on your ass.”

“No, I don’t.” Phil replies impassively.

Dan and the doctor exchange glances until the latter motions for Phil to prove it wrong.

Phil’s expression started growing from affronted to doubtful to curious. “I can’t have—” He twists his torso to lower his underwear from his bum to check himself and lo and behold, he sees a dumb-looking cartoon lion staring back at him. His jaw drops and he looks back at Dan. “You’re really my husband?” His eyes were wide in surprise.

“Forever, that was the plan.” Dan gives a devilishly sweet smile to disguise fraudulency, as he discreetly celebrates his victory in managing to convince Phil and the hospital.


	5. yas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the new home

During the entire ride back to Dan’s flat, Phil just looked completely lost. He was quietly questioning everything they pass by with his face while Dan sits triumphantly on one side of the vehicle.

The car stops at a single story apartment building with a monochrome theme. It just seems so fitting for someone like Dan to choose this place to reside in, judging by the color of his outfit —or the lack thereof, but then that will mean _Phil_ lives in the boring and gloomy building as well; Phil ponders as he steps out of the cab.

While walking on the hallway, they pass by a room with loud music banging. Phil frowned, he can already imagine the turmoil this would bring—or in this case, has already brought.

As soon as he enters Dan’s flat, he stands and stares at the entire place blankly. “I’m poor?” Phil says. 

Dan shuts the door and stops right next to Phil. “Yep.” He took a few steps forward and turns to Phil briefly just to say, “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll make this house a home for you.” Dan adds, intentionally using a mocking voice to spite Phil even more. And sure enough, he relished in an odd sort of amusement as he noticed Phil grimace behind him.

Phil roams around Dan’s flat, observing everything. It’s small and compact but everything was neatly arranged. He approaches a particular shelf that has the picture from their proposal date in Japan with the cherry blossoms Dan mentioned earlier. He narrows his eyes at the picture, until he was snapped out of his thoughts by Dan’s clap to specifically call his attention.

“Welcome home, love.” Dan says, posing to present the flat while he stands in the middle of the lounge. “I don’t think I need to tell you where the kitchen and the lounge are anymore. Everything is quite literally laid out for you already.” Dan lets out a humourless laugh, as he emphasized the area with his open arms.

“Wait, how long have we been together?” Phil blurts. 

“10 years.” He answered simply, as practised.

“And we don’t have children? A dog? We just live in this cramped flat, with barely any storage, that could fall apart at any moment?” 

“That’s right.” 

Phil’s eyes dart around the place, his face scrunched in what seemed like disgust for a reason he also wasn’t certain considering the place appeared to be tidy and well-kept. This fact definitely came the most unexpected for Phil due to the impression given by the building's cheap-looking exterior.

“Don’t worry, I never complained! After all, this was the only thing you could afford. You worked your hardest, even with your not-so-sufficient paychecks.” Dan replied feigning sympathy, he then approaches Phil to pat him in a consoling way.

Phil pauses. “I work?” He sounds insulted. _That doesn’t seem right_.

“Three jobs, love.” The brunet replied innocently.

Phil massaged his forehead. “I need a drink.” He marches to the fridge and found a can of beer. He picks it up and was about to open it when Dan quickly interferes and steals it out of his grasp.

“Uh-uh.” Dan says disapprovingly and opens the can instead, drinking its contents right in front of Phil. 

Phil looks at him in utter disbelief. “What, I can’t drink now?!”

Dan exhales deeply after taking a gulp like he was deliberately making Phil jealous. “Yeah, well…” —he stammered, quickly scrambling for an excuse. “Your relapse is what caused you to end up in hospital, so...” He shrugs and gives Phil an _I’m-doing-this-for-your-own-good_ face.

 _This_ was the normal of Phil Howell, the raven-haired man thought. His expression was resigned, much like his feelings. He realised that the more he pressed on for details regarding his supposed previous life, he just finds himself more lost and in even more agony than he already was in. 

Phil was left standing in the middle of the lounge just questioning his life and silently cursing at everything that he didn’t even notice Dan went and had now returned carrying a bunch of books and notebooks in his arms. He also didn’t have his denim jacket on anymore, making him look extremely casual and somehow different? Perhaps a bit softer and more relaxed. 

For a split second, all forlorn thoughts earlier went on hold as Phil seriously considered this life isn’t as bad knowing he’s not entirely alone (for ten years, in fact). This was a new feeling that startled Phil, though it was weirdly a comforting thought.

“Alright, there’s a busy week ahead of us and I have loads of studying to do to make up for months of not being able to.” said Dan. “Finally.” —he mutters to himself— “So, let’s go.”

Phil releases a heavy sigh. “I’m scared to ask but, go where?”

“Oh, no.” Dan laughs condescendingly and shakes his head. “ _I’m_ staying here to study,”— he gestures to himself. “I suggest _you_ should start preparing dinner,” he holds out his hand to Phil.

“What?!” Phil asks. “You expect me to just rummage around here until I find something to eat?”

Dan shrugs. “Hey, it’s up to you how you wanna do your job. Though, that seems like a great start.” He says, flashing Phil a teasing grin.

Phil groans, his stomach then makes an involuntary noise that is typically the signal for dinner time. He suddenly feels like the hospital was a better place to stay in. Although he had a _lot_ to say about the food there (mostly complaints), at least he had them.

“And by the sound of that, you probably should hurry as well.” Dan says while leaning on the kitchen counter with his waist. “Wouldn’t want my dearie husband to starve after a long day.” He reaches towards Phil and pokes his nose making a ‘ _boop’_ sound as he then broadens the mischievous smile on his face once more.

Whatever expression Phil had, dropped. “I don’t like that at all.”

Dan still had the stupid grin on his face, he grabs both of Phil’s shoulders and spins him to the direction of the cupboards as a way to tell him to start cooking. “Come on, you still have chores to do after that, you know. You’re gonna need the energy.” He adds with fake encouragement.

 _No point in complaining anymore_ , Phil thought. Troubled but ambitious, he first looked for the easiest kind of dish to make out of the few ingredients available. He kept sighing out loud like he was carrying the weight of the world and to hopefully get sympathy from Dan who already found a spot to study while being able to observe Phil’s torment, which was the breakfast bar. He seemed completely unbothered and was rather quite pleased the more he sees Phil suffer— like a true sadist.

About 20 minutes into studying, Dan decides to check on Phil since he seemed to be pretty occupied with actually cooking instead of his earlier passive attempts to ask for help, which Dan gladly ignored to intentionally spite him some more.

“What’s cooking, Gordon Ramsay?” He leans forward to take a peek at Phil’s work space.

Dan sees a large, partially covered pot filled with boiling water and some sloppily chopped spices on a chopping board. Phil was holding an open jar of marinara sauce, he sniffed its contents and made a doubtful face before using a spoon to taste and scrunched his face in disgust. Dan giggles at this.

“It would be an insult to have Gordon Ramsay cook in a kitchen like this.” Phil puts down the jar on the counter. “This sauce is awful.”

Dan hums, "You always did have the more refined palate." He says, which was truthfully his codeword for 'picky eater' or 'overly discriminating prat'.

Phil notices the boiling water and rushes to remove the lid but had forgotten to use mittens so he yelps and hastily retracts his hand, shaking it in the air. Just then, his elbow knocks the jar-of-awful-sauce off the counter, shattering it into pieces and spilling the sauce everywhere on the floor. 

"I think the sauce heard you dissing it." Dan full-on laughs this time, adding insult to injury.

After another challenging round of cooking and recovery from the earlier incident, Phil somehow managed to present a serving of pasta for both of them. 

“Huh, not bad. It could've been so much worse. Not exactly Gordon Ramsay quality...”—as Dan had said, to which Phil just snorted.

Phil was awfully proud of himself for managing to present something edible _and delicious_ but decided to play it cool, because he concluded that Phil Howell might be the cook between the two of them which was why Dan insisted Phil to be in charge of the kitchen and not the other way around— he delighted in this theory as it really stroked his ego at the thought of being better than Dan at something.

Hours after their dinner, Dan occupied himself with more studying, feeling ever so productive in his life for the first time in a while which was a bit ironic, since he was always in a frantic state of balancing his three jobs every day. He texts this to Louise as he was sat on his desk, various notebooks and books still opened.

 _“You’re living the life, Danny. haha. I want a fake husband now, too :(”_ Louise’s reply reads and Dan chuckles.

" _that's quite problematic lol and besides i'm only keeping him until i get my results. don't get carried away_." He replies.

There was an instant chime, " _I won't if you wont. :P_ "

Dan simply rolls his eyes and decides it was time for him to finally sleep, especially since he was looking forward to it after being deprived for weeks. He starts putting away all of his notes and catches a glimpse of Phil walking by the hallway outside his bedroom looking extremely tired. A rush of satisfaction flows through Dan, knowing how his revenge plan is working out great so far, especially seeing the once lazy git like that. 

When Dan finally finishes keeping all of his study materials, he sighs contentedly, ready to lie down and end this accomplished day. What he wasn’t expecting though, was to see Phil leaning on his desk suggestively staring at him and like he was somewhat anticipating something. Dan was mildly startled and perplexed by the sudden change in attitude.

Dan raises his eyebrows in question.

Phil gestures to the bed, still smirking.

Realisation finally kicks in and it disappointed Dan how long it took as he rolls his eyes. He genuinely thought because Phil was so worn out from all the housework Dan made him do, he wouldn’t reach _this_ point anymore. 

“…Really?” Dan says, exasperated.

Phil shrugs. “It’s what married couples do.”

He purses his lips. “Hmm, well…” It had a weird tone that hinted the opposite of what Phil wanted to hear.

The whole suggestive demeanor dropped as Phil then looked crushed and puzzled. “What, I’m not sleeping with you?” He questions.

After a second of scrambling for an excuse, Dan managed to compose himself and explain in a matter-of-fact tone. “Remember your relapse.” He picks up a spare pillow and blanket from his wardrobe and gives it to Phil. He then gently pushes the latter on his back to lead him to the small sofa at the lounge.

“30 days clean and sober. You and your sponsor came up with that.” He pats Phil’s back and adds, “But don’t worry, love. This is a chance to start over, right?” Dan says, going back to the _sweet_ character he’s built up in playing this role.

The loud music banging from the neighbor that Phil took note of earlier suddenly became more evident in the supposedly quiet hour. He frowned once again at this.

“This way you can watch out for burglars and axe murderers in the night as well!” Dan winks just to end it on a teasing note and reveling in the satisfaction of scaring Phil.


	6. oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phil's first day at work

Needless to say, Phil barely got any sleep.

In fact, the only reason he was able to doze off in broken naps was because of how exhausted his body was. Now, it was the fifth time he had woken up to readjust his position whilst being cramped in the tiny sofa that can hardly support his legs. He curses his lanky height.

Phil felt his eyes straining when he decided to open them.

From the window, he sees the sun starting to rise. He groans and internally sobs as he shuts his eyes, trying his very best to savour what little time he has left before he gets dragged off his feet to do god knows what.

He gets interrupted by loud and heavy knocking on the door. 

Phil grumbles and lifts the pillow under his head to cover his ears instead, hoping the noise would disappear if he ignores it long enough. 

_Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!_

“For Christ’s sake.” He groans while lazily fumbling to get up to answer the persistent person at the door.

In nothing but a loose white shirt and a pair of black shorts with his hair sticking out everywhere, he opens the door with a very displeased face. He was greeted by a construction worker who looked startled and slightly confused for a brief moment.

“Phil, right?”

Phil was taken aback by the sudden interrogation and looked behind the man to see if there is any construction site nearby and wonder if his presence or identity to it is necessary.

The man at the door laughs a bit and shakes his head. “Oh, sorry. Uh, I’m Liam.” He extends his hand to shake, smiling.

Eyebrows still furrowed, Phil shook his hand tentatively. His brain still wasn’t fully awake yet so he had a hard time trying to formulate a proper question to articulate how utterly confused he is at the moment.

“I… er… What do you want?” He clears his throat and scrubs his eyes.

“Right, _of course_ Dan didn’t tell you…” Liam raises his eyebrows and jerks his head to the side. “Time for work, put some trousers on. I’ll be waiting in the truck within 5 minutes!” He says as he starts walking towards the lift.

Phil remains disoriented although his brain knew he should be in a hurry as he was given a time limit. Should he even trust a stranger just because he mentioned Dan? He turns and surveys around the place for trousers and as if on cue, he finds one neatly folded on the coffee table with a note that pacified his suspicions “ _maybe dont go flaunting around with your ass out on the first day <3_”. Phil rolls his eyes, gravely annoyed knowing Dan had predicted this but didn’t feel quite compelled to properly inform him about it beforehand. Phil quickly puts them on then dashes towards the lift.

During the ride, Phil desperately tried getting more sleep but to no avail as Liam was obnoxiously narrating numerous anecdotes from his life. Something about the joys of fatherhood and being a good husband despite stealing food from the inventory or something then about the park that had an amazing view of the sunset. It was incredibly difficult to dismiss Liam despite Phil’s attempts as he could easily find a conversation starter with anything he sees.

Phil was sat, face-palming as a way to lean his head on the car door and to also deal with the insistent chattering to his side, until they finally slowed to a stop. He glances outside and sees a large house on a hill by a cliff, he felt a strange tug of familiarity to the scene. This feeling was alarming and it baffled him but was briefly snapped out of his trance with Liam calling to him, who was already on the pathway to the said house.

Quickly, Phil got off the truck and clumsily followed Liam.

They turned to one corner behind the house and was met with more of Liam’s construction team in the middle of their project. There was a big rectangular pit with steel rods to maintain the shape of the hole.

Phil felt intimidated by the extreme workload he was about to dive into, and without any prior knowledge as well. But before he could dread it further, Liam places his hand on Phil’s shoulder and shouts to the working men to call their attention. “Lads!”

The team composed of about 5 men turned to look at Liam and Phil with knitted eyebrows, which Phil hoped were because of curiosity and not agitation from being disturbed.

“This new bloke is called Phil.” Liam says and points to each of the men as he recited their names respectively. "That's PJ, Dyl, Chris, Mick and over there's Norman." The crew huddled, forming a small circle in front of Phil for his convenience.

PJ, who had thick curls flattened underneath his yellow hard hat, extended his hands to shake. Before letting go however, PJ scoffs. “Why are your hands so soft?”

Phil blushes from embarrassment as the group made derisive noises of amusement. “Err… I’ve never worked construction before.” He says in a small voice.

Some of the men leaned in to see Phil’s still open palms. Mick—the eldest looking of the group, sneers. “What have you been doing? Bet you’ve never done _any_ work in your life. ”

"Take it easy fellas, this poor guy's got amnesia." Liam tries reasoning with them.

“I know what he's been doing, maybe this guy worked in a nail salon!”

"Damn, those are lady's hands, bro."

“Let me guess, you moisturize?”

The men’s booming laughs—including Liam's echoed in unison before they dispersed, returning to their work.

Phil was drowning in his own awkwardness, especially just recalling a memory of him actually using a moisturizer at some point in his life. He had to agree with the crew though, he’s clearly not cut out for this. Phil turned to Liam, “Hey, listen. Why don’t I start off easy… Like an errand boy, you know? Get water and snacks… Ease myself in gently to the scene?”

“Ah, why not? You can ask these guys what they need for starters, Errand boy. They’ll go easy on you for sure.” Liam grins and walks off.

Sure enough, Phil was passed around when he asked to whom he could be of assistance. Eventually he ended up going to PJ, by this time he'd already stumbled a lot—not having enough strength and balance to lift or push almost anything they throw at him.

“Errand boy, huh?” PJ had a tone of incredulity.

Meanwhile, another co-worker nearby called Chris, overheard and sniggered. “ _Pfft_. Slacking off work already, Lady hands?” 

PJ snorts. "I see that nickname's already stuck." 

"Meh, I'll keep calling you that until you get working hands." Chris winks at Phil.

"Alright Lady hands, you've been dubbed by Chris. Which means you officially belong to the team." PJ rolls his eyes.

And they didn't hold back in piling up workload for Phil. The team made Phil shovel a humongous pile of dirt on a wheelbarrow, lift back-breaking sacks of cement powder, drag heavy metal bars across the field and more muscle straining work where numerous times he grumbled and questioned how long before his time off. And when it was finally time to return to the flat, his hands, legs and back ached along with the rest of his body. Using his last bits of energy left, he carried himself to the lift.

Dan had his first day off to rest and to have time for himself in months, or probably even years. So now he was lounging on the sofa, peacefully reading when Phil barges in from the door and collapses next to him on the small sofa. His head was slightly leaning on top of Dan’s thigh, but Dan was stuck in the corner so he found himself unable to move away if he wanted to. Phil didn’t seem to mind though, which bothered Dan a bit. He proceeded to distract himself with admiring how dead exhausted Phil turned out to be on what might be his first ever day of working.

“Took it you had fun at work?” He teases instead and pokes Phil’s head in an attempt to keep it from fully leaning on him but ended up becoming a playful gesture.

Phil turned his head to the side so half of his face was visible to Dan and started mumbling a string of words like, "Fell… Heavy sack… Rocks… Fell again…"

Dan stopped his attempts to slide Phil's head off and simply allowed Phil to lay on him as he then hums, “Shh, I'm sure you're doing great. You need to go have a shower and change now, yeah?"

Phil whines in response.

"Also, I know you have a hard time remembering your routines and chores. _So_ I made you a list!” Dan had an enthusiastic voice, like one that's used to encourage a child to eat their greens. 

Phil takes the list and upon seeing the length of the items, he gazes at Dan accusingly. "I can't possibly do _all of these_ alone?!” —he scoffs— “I literally can't. My body is physically glued on this couch and I can't move anymore." Phil wiggled his legs pathetically.

"Hey, we had a deal, babe."—he pouts—"I know you don't exactly recall but you had promised me you'd be very supportive and helpful so I can have the entire month to focus on my studying. I need you more than ever right now, love." Dan strokes Phil's hair. "You still do keep your promises, right?" 

Phil's eyes grew from uneasy to resigned as he flopped back into the couch face down, groaning.

"Aw, look at you, always so selfless!" Dan faces his book and continues reading again, smiling slightly this time. "Oh, and that's two pages by the way."

Meanwhile the oblivious man on his lap sobs this time, nuzzling his head on Dan's thigh.

* * *

The keyboard clicks as the nurse at the reception types in a name.

“Philip was his name, ma’am?” The nurse clarified.

“Yes, that’s Philip Lester.” Martha says with a stoic expression.

“I’m afraid we don’t have a Philip Lester listed here.” The nurse replied, Martha sighs discontentedly and turns to four burly men behind her. They move away from the desk and into the corner of the hallway with no one present.

She massages her forehead, “I had _one_ specific instruction…” She places her hands on her waist. “And now because I clearly overestimated all four of you to be sensible enough to understand simple orders, I’m hospital-hunting for my brother whose whereabouts, status and intentions are all unknown!” She strongly whispers, scolding the men who are all bigger than her but are still guiltily cowering from her.

One of the men had the courage to respond, “But, we hit him really hard in the head!” he replies defensively albeit fearful.

“He’s still missing.” Another one of them chided the former, wise enough at least to keep them from increasing Martha’s anger further.

Little did they know a doctor was also passing by the same hallway at that specific moment, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but you’re looking for a patient, correct?” He speaks slowly and approaches cautiously.

Martha sneaks a glare at the men then turns he attention to thr doctor to answer, “It’s my brother actually.” She said feigning concern. “The nurse said he wasn’t listed here, so we might just be on our way.” 

She was about to walk past the doctor when he stopped her. “You said he was hit in the head?” He asks tentatively.

Martha pauses her tracks and panics a little. _How much did he hear?_

The doctor continues, “I had a patient who had the same injury, you see.”

“Is that so?” She turns slowly. The rest of the men she’s with were all frozen, afraid to make a sound.

Nodding, the doctor says, “He had lost his memories because of this and we had a hard time trying to contact any of his relatives. He was quite a handful.” He laughs softly and shakes his head, “Anyway yeah, I’m sure we all have our businesses to attend to, best be on our way and—”

“Hold on, sorry.” Martha interjects. “Is there any chance that your patient’s name might’ve been… Phil?”

“Sorry, I’m afraid that’s information too confidential to say.”

“You see, that’s my brother." Martha pressed on, seizing her chance. "I want to know what happened to him.” She says, dramatizing the worry in her tone.

The doctor seemed to be persuaded, but still quite doubtful. “Indeed, his name was Phil. Hmm now that you mention it, you do look like him a bit.” His eyebrows furrowed. 

It had always been a curse to have such a strong resemblance with each other, but this was the first time she treated it otherwise. “We haven’t had contact in years now and when I heard what happened to him, I just want to know where he is and if he’s alright.” Martha acts distressed and in pain.

He sighs, “Usually I would have to ask for specific documents before I could answer that but, well…" —the doctor's voice was softer— "He was actually collected by his spouse yesterday.”

“Oh?” Martha raises her eyebrows surprised and intrigued but did her best to suppress it from showing too much. “He’s married now?”

The doctor smiles, “I suppose you and your brother have a lot of catching up to do.” He says comfortingly.

“We do indeed.” She glances to the four men behind her, hiding a smirk before turning back to the doctor. “Thank you for being such a huge help in reconnecting me with my brother, doc.” She smiles gratefully.

He smiles back courtly but then Martha adds, “Can I have just one last question?” The former looked unsure but she continues. “May I know the name of Phil’s partner?” She smiles, hopeful. “Please, doc? I need to know what name I could use to look for him.”

The doctor sighs, “I suppose you do have a point.” He looks around, watchful for others who might hear. “If I remember correctly, his name was… Howard? No wait, Howell! His name was Howell.” 

Martha grins darkly, “He’s Philip Howell now, is he?”


	7. lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a change

Lunch time at Louise’s Pizza Diner usually meant peak hours for customers.

This was something Dan always frowned upon because of all the stress and pressure in the atmosphere from hundreds of simultaneous orders in every direction. But now, he sat by the counter happily chatting to Louise about Phil’s disastrous attempts at housework so far.

“You’re blooming, Dan.” Louise comments after some time of interval from all of Dan’s talking. She was refilling the thermal paper for printing receipts at the cash register.

Dan was taken aback by the unexpected remark. He starts reflecting about the definition of ‘blooming’ and whether his present self identifies with it.

“Rightly so,” Louise continues. “After all, it has been a week and everything has been going smoothly so far, yeah?”

“Don’t jinx it, then!” He snorts and glances at Phil who was working as a waiter not far away from where both of them were right now.

He was currently in a frenzy, rushing to deliver a glass of soda to a table. He did it successfully but as he turns around, he slips on a trail of some spilled contents of the drink because of his earlier hysterical state.

 _“Oof,_ ” he says, making a sound as he lands flat on his bum.

Dan giggles while staring, amused at how he was able to witness such an entertaining adversity. He turns his head back to Louise who was giving him a knowing look.

“What?”

Louise’s eyebrows raise in defense. “Nothing! It’s just…” She smirks. “You do realise you’ve been staring at him quite a lot the entire time he’s been working.”

Dan scoffs, “I— h-he…” He stammers, “I just like seeing him suffer! Seeing how much of a disaster he is and—”

She laughs and says, “I’m just teasing, Dan.” Louise pads to the kitchen as he then rolls his eyes.

Dan followed to the kitchen and was greeted by the clock in the middle of the room, getting reminded of the time.

Half past 1pm.

By now, he’s memorized his work schedule so naturally, he knows he’s late for his next shift when he sees the clock like that. Only this time, it’s Phil who’s currently running late at the moment.

Speak of the devil, Phil walks in and rests on an empty chair nearby, exhausted and sighing deeply.

“Not to alarm you, love, but shouldn’t you be on your way to the construction site right now?” Dan says gently. His round eyes stare at Phil and his lips were folded.

Phil’s eyes widen as the realisation kicks in. “ _Crap_.” He curses, bolting up. “You’re right!”

Dan grins smugly, “As usual.”

“Whatever, Trevor.” Phil retorts.

Dan rolls his eyes, still smiling. “Oh, and—don’t forget, today is groceries day.”

“Already have the list, don’t worry.”

Not long after, Phil was dressed again to leave for his afternoon shift with Liam.

“I’ll be off now.” He announces to Dan—and by extension Louise, in the small kitchen.

“Alright, you be careful out there.” Dan says in the middle of carefully laying a bunch of toppings on a pizza, making sure they were equally distributed.

Louise waves, smiling politely. “Bye, Phil.”

“I will Dan, bye Louise.” He turns and leaves through the back door.

Louise narrows her eyes at Dan, “Not even a goodbye kiss?” She grins.

“Shut up.” He shakes his head trying to suppress his smile that lingered even as Phil went.

After a pause, she says. “It’s cute, you know.”

“What is?” Dan says blankly, looking up from the finished pizza.

“You two!” Louise says like it should’ve been undeniably obvious. “You’re beginning to sound like a married couple.”

A married couple… Dan purses his lips, in thought. Him and Phil? They barely even touch. It’s one thing to act like a couple, but a married one as well? _Nahh, Louise is just teasing. Don’t let her get to you_.

He shakes his head, ridding himself of more horrifying thoughts about him and Phil at a wedding this time and stands up, ready to deliver the freshly prepared pizza. He needs to focus on his work right now so he’ll just have to postpone that thought—maybe even for good.

* * *

At the construction site, Liam was talking to their client from the inside of the huge house while Phil and the rest were on break, simply talking. They were all huddled in one area beside the pool as they ate some snacks.

“I just feel so lost. Like, I see a huge house and all the fancy things like this…” Phil gestures to the whole area, “It feels like I should be having this life.”

Dyl sighs, “Right, I get that feeling too. Seeing Bill Gates or… James Dyson’s life, yeah? I definitely get you there, mate.” 

“Me, too.” The eldest—Mick, adds. “Which is why I always play the lottery.” He sits up like he was sharing something extremely crucial. “Every Friday at the same time, I buy the same numbers. My. Lucky. Numbers.” He gesticulates his point using his hand.

“The day the Godfather got shot buying oranges.” Norman explains to Phil, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah those numbers are _clearly_ working out for you.” PJ pats Mick as the men laugh at the snide remark.

“No, it’s different.” Phil insists. “I feel like something is profoundly wrong. Sometimes I look at my husband and I have no idea who this person is.” 

“Tell me about it.” Dyl responds. “You should’ve seen my wife in high school, she was smoking hot.” He shakes his head, “Now I barely recognize her. She got really ugly.”

“Trust me, she’s disappointed too.” Chris says and they all burst out laughing. He shrugs, “He’s one to talk!”

“I’m serious! I don’t feel like we’re husbands.” Phil sighs, troubled. “The thing is, I feel like I’m just a paycheck.”

“Lady hands,” Chris says. “That’s what you are!”

Mick sniggers, “Not a very good one at that.” The men joined in along with some noises of agreement as Phil’s frown deepened.

PJ rolls his eyes, smiling like Phil was being silly. “We all feel the same way, man.”

“Really?” Phil asks, not believing them in the slightest.

They all nodded in affirmation.

“All of you?” He looks around at all of them, truly surprised this time.

“Yeah.”

“All of us.”

“Listen Phil, you even got it lucky.” PJ says. “You’ve got a decent job, a home to go to, with a wonderful partner who puts up with your shit.”

Norman, scoffs, “Yeah, you’re lucky it’s PJ telling you this and not either of us, or else we’ll slap your face so you really wake up from all the unnecessary self-pity you keep wallowing in.”

“Unless you haven’t gotten it. Do you still need to be slapped?” Chris suggests.

Phil quickly held up his hand. “No, no. I get it.”

His forehead creased as he began to thoroughly reflect about his relationship with Dan. To think they’ve been together for almost a decade? Surely they have already shared such a rich history together! Even so, he didn’t even bother asking about his husband’s feelings or anything about their relationship, apart from what Dan had only told him.

“Well then,” Chris speaks again, snapping Phil out of his thoughts. “You better stop whining every single minute from now on.” 

Then despite Phil’s dissent earlier, he slaps him. It wasn’t exactly painful, but it did take him by surprise so he was left there, jaw dropped as they all laughed at him.

His expression slowly softens as he just shrugs it off, rolling his eyes. It’s been a week anyway; he’s used to their kind of banter by now.

Dan went home later than Phil that night. He occupied himself by helping Louise with the diner. After a week of Phil taking most of his shift, he felt he at least had to make up for those hours somehow—despite Louise claiming it to be unnecessary.

As he walks on his way home, his mind was racing, still thinking about how crazier his situation with Phil is becoming, and how any of this will be in the long run. Which he’s quite certain will not reach that point anymore. There’s just something that was making Dan feel so uneasy everytime he thinks about Phil, which he found mildly disconcerting since he’s never felt it before—so why now?

This is only until he finishes the exam; then, the deed is up, he comforts himself with this reminder. Just a few more weeks, and this crazy revenge story comes to an end then they can all return to their normal lives. Phil returns to the billionaire lifestyle of hors d’oeuvres, champagne and caviars while Dan—in his shitty apartment living alone and in debt.

Dan was lost too deep in his thoughts that when he arrived in his flat, he was not expecting to see Phil at the kitchen counter stirring a boiling pot on the stove.

“Oh, hey. You’re finally back.” He glances at Dan then back to whatever delicious smelling dish he was preparing.

Dan closes the door. “You’re cooking?” It wasn’t supposed to be a question but his confusion got the best of him. 

“Yeah, I don’t know why you’re still surprised. I thought you said I do the cooking all the time.” Phil half chuckles.

“Right, yeah.” Dan shakes his head as if to scold himself for forgetting. “Y-you didn’t have to wait for me, you know?” He removes his coat. 

“I didn’t. Well, not exactly.” Phil sits down at the dining table with the food all prepared in front of him, “I already ate.” He looked up at Dan with an expectant look on his face.

Dan can only compare Phil's expression to a dog that was eager to fetch a stick. He slowly approaches the table, “So this is all for me?” Dan gestures to himself.

“Unless you’ve eaten.”

He hasn’t.

Dan sits across Phil at the dining table. He can't explain exactly but everything just feels suspicious. _Why is he just sitting across from me? What if he found out about his identity and he’s about to confront me about it?_ Dan immediately thinks and becomes uneasy.

“I’ll take that as a no, then.” Phil confirms in a sing-song voice, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

“…You’re just gonna sit there?” Dan asks.

Phil shrugs, “I don’t really have anywhere else to be.” He leans on his chair to get comfortable. “And before you start,” —he raises a finger— “I’ve already done all my chores.” He says proudly.

Dan raises his eyebrows, honestly quite impressed but refused to allow himself to admit that aloud. “I wasn’t even gonna say that.”

He takes a spoonful of the onion soup that Phil prepared and his eyes instantly widened, “Wow.”

Phil was just looking at him in anticipation of his reaction the whole time.

“It’s good.” Dan says. _When did he get so good at cooking?_ He wonders. Is it because he was really hungry? Or maybe it’s just Phil’s… cooking? 

_Woah there_ , _no way._

“Thought so.” Phil replies smugly. “I found some cook books on the shelf actually. Why were they stored away?”

“Look, I used them before and it didn’t end well.” Dan blushes of embarrassment, recalling the memory.

“That explains a lot.” Phil grins teasingly. “Like how those books seemed fully hidden. And why _I’m_ the one who cooks, not you.”

“Um, rude!” Dan snorts. “I _can_ cook you know. I just don’t need books to do it.” He teases back.

“Oh, is that how it is?” Phil raises his eyebrows and Dan giggles. “I mean, I don’t know. I don’t remember what your cooking tastes like, but I guess I’m sparing myself that way.” He adds as Dan stood up to go and wash the plates.

“ _Okay wow_ , thanks bitch.” Dan rolls his eyes and Phil just laughs this time.

The noise dies down eventually until the water from the faucet is the only sound occupying the silence. “How much do you remember, anyway?” Dan asks, overtaken by genuine curiosity before he could think too much of his implications and take it back. He just finished returning the washed plates and he turns to face Phil.

“Only in pieces, actually.” Phil stands to also properly face Dan. “I can mostly recall things vaguely when I see something quite familiar, but not entirely. It’s like I can tell when something doesn’t _feel_ right? If that makes sense.”

“It doesn’t have to make sense.” Dan shrugs. “Besides, you were rarely ever coherent with your thoughts anyway.” He goes to his room so he could change his clothes and start preparing for sleep.

To his surprise, Phil follows suit. “Am I? What else am I like?” He sounded too interested.

“Annoying, won’t shut up…” Dan notices Phil had sat on his bed from the corner of his eye, as he heads to his own closet. He sees a rogue sock on his floor and crouches to pick it up, he glances around to look for the pair as he stood up.

“Hmm, what about the things that you fancied about me?”

Dan stops his search abruptly and turns to face Phil. “Wha—? I?!” He gets distracted by Phil holding up the pair of the sock he was in the middle of scouring for by his desk.

“You _are_ looking for this, right?” Phil says while waving the sock around, utterly oblivious of the spluttering mess he left Dan in. He was also now completely lying down on the bed, posed like a French girl ready to be painted.

Dan approaches and drops the sock he was holding to the man on his bed. “It’s yours actually.” He lies, recovering himself. “You’re also bad at keeping your socks.” 

“Well… I believe socks don’t always _have_ to be matching anyways.” Phil stretches on the bed for a bit then sits cross legged on the far edge to give Dan some space to sit, and so he does, one leg hanging off the edge of the mattress.

As Dan was about to retort to how odd that was, Phil continues, “What about you, then?”

“What, do I wear matching socks?” Dan raises an eyebrow.

“No, I mean, I just want to know more about you.” Phil says, shying away from Dan's eyes, but tried his best not to make it too noticeable.

Dan scoffs. “This sounds like a first date.”

“Although our first date was probably more romantic than this.” Phil awaited for Dan to disprove this in some way but was pleased after not hearing any.

“ _Right_. Err, what about me? I dunno, I don’t really like going there.” Dan fiddles with the duvet.

Phil looks at him thoughtfully before scooting closer. “Alright mate, you don’t necessarily have to tell me your whole life story starting from birth.”

The movement caused Dan to look up at Phil and his small laugh briefly stopped.

Finding him close enough for Dan to observe the iridescence in his blue eyes was mesmerising. He always did have a weakness for baby blues— _fuck_.

“I—I don’t know where to begin then.” Dan barely manages to find his words. _You’re stronger than this, come on._

“I’ll start then. I like your dimple.” Phil pokes Dan’s cheek, causing the latter to smile, almost as a reflex, making his dimple actually show. “Yeah, like that.” Phil muses.

A blush spreads through Dan’s face. _Oh, god. No you’re not._

“But that’s also probably not the first time I said it… hopefully.” Phil adds.

Dan wonders if Phil was being genuine, because he was beginning to get scared by how everything is developing so fast. He chuckles, hiding his nervousness. “Maybe not.”

Both became unaware of how their faces slowly got closer as if they were drawn by each other’s eyes. All their worries and fears seem to disappear, like they were chasing euphoria, desperately searching for all the answers their feelings couldn’t even properly convey. It gradually felt like nothing else mattered as the space between them got smaller.

Dan’s gaze trail on Phil’s soft and inviting lips…

_Thud._

Quickly, the boys turn their heads toward the noise. Turns out it was Dan’s phone that fell on the floor. He picks it up and checks the time instinctively.

11pm.

Phil gets up and out of the bed. He clears his throat, “Right, I really should—”

“Yeah…” Dan busies his hands with trying to smoothen his duvet.

Phil stood by the door, pausing for a while before saying, “Goodnight, Dan.”

“Goodnight.” Dan plastered a smile on his face.

The door closes.

Dan collapses on the bed and massages his forehead. His heart was beating wildly and his hands instantly started sweating. _What the actual hell was that just now?_


	8. wtf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: blood/ knife/ cutting :c (small scene tho. dw)

The entire night, Dan kept twisting and turning, trying to quiet his thoughts and struggled to get any sleep, only to keep finding it to be nearly impossible. Everytime he would almost drift into sleep, thoughts about Phil would flood his unsuspecting mind; an inescapable nightmare since he finds waking up not to be a form of liberation as it _was_ the reality; there is no escaping.

 _Everything felt real then_ —which Dan had regarded it to be a magical and fluttery experience in retrospect. Now, he felt terrified. The guilt surges in Dan’s gut. This is all his doing...

Or what if it wasn’t real before but it is now? Maybe it could work?

_No._

_Everything is a lie_ . Dan scolds himself. _Nothing about that was real_.

Morning eventually came and he knew it was about time for him to get up and face Phil again. 

It was time to _wake up..._

_I have to tell him._

He opens his door, determined.

_Nevermind my bloody exam. This is all wrong._

Optional dialogues flashed in Dan’s brain as he breathed deeply in an attempt to calm himself down. He then pauses when he hears indistinct chattering from the kitchen. He peeks from the corner of the hallway instead.

Phil was flipping some pancakes.

Dan’s stomach growls at the sight and registration of having breakfast soon. His eyes pan on someone else. _Louise?_

They were having a quiet discussion and Dan can barely make it out. He found himself distracted with speculations about their topic instead of fully focusing on his attempt to listen. _Since when did they become close? What could they possibly be talking about that seems so important and I shouldn’t know?_

Whilst in the middle of his perplexity, he didn’t notice Phil had already spotted him.

“Good morning, love!” He beams, “I didn’t see you there.”

Dan jolts. This is the first time Phil used that petname on him since their first meeting, and he never forgot being mocked by it—to which Dan had since used back at Phil for the same purpose. Nevertheless, it shouldn’t be used in this case.

_Focus._

“I need to tell you something.” Dan mumbled.

Phil was too busy flipping and serving a stack of pancakes to hear Dan who wasn't even audible enough for anyone else but himself. “I made you breakfast. Louise and I saw each other on the way from buying eggs so I invited her. Oh, and I also made you coffee, if that’s alright?”

Dan blinks. “I—um, thank you.” He found himself to be at a loss for words from Phil's information-loaded response. Phil really did have that effect of rendering him speechless, which unsettled him a lot since he usually took pride in being witty and quick to react.

“Yeah, I also had to buy sugar cause I spilled a lot of it earlier in my first attempt at making your coffee.” Phil giggles at himself.

Truth is, Dan didn’t really prefer much sugar in his coffee. Although the thoughtfulness in the intention made his heart skip a beat.

“Literally just for a cup of coffee and there was already a casualty. Do I even wanna know how many more accidents happen when I’m not watching?” Dan teases as he recovers from his earlier tongue-tied state.

The entire time, Louise leaned on one corner of the kitchen, quietly watching the scene unfold.

Phil chuckles guiltily, and Dan notices how his tongue pokes out in the process. Something warm bubbles in him at this discovery.

“There is no evidence to support that…” Phil says with shifty eyes.

“You just told me you spilt sugar, you… _spoon_!”

“ _Oh_ , right.” Phil laughs again. “You win.”

Dan rolls his eyes but then Phil pressed on, “So anyways, you wanted to tell me something?”

Louise’s eyes were wide. She figured where this might be heading.

It suddenly felt like Dan’s heart sunk. How could he have it in him to ruin this tender moment? Especially seeing how bright Phil’s smile and whole aura was even in broad daylight— the sun could never compare.

_Come on, Dan. Pull yourself together._

Phil turns the stove off and fully faces Dan. “Are you alright?” He was beginning to sound concerned, seeing Dan’s troubled expression grow.

“Oh I just" —he releases a faint sigh— "today is actually… Our anniversary!” Dan forces himself to sound excited. “Happy anniversary, love!” Dan says with gritted teeth. All the emotional preparations earlier really drained him. He felt a punch in his gut. _Coward_.

Louise exhales, deeply relieved. _Close bloody call_.

“Really?” And as if possible, Phil brightened up even more. “I knew there was a reason why I wanted to prepare something special today!”

Dan makes a pained smile but did his best to disguise it.

“Happy anniversary, you two!” Louise says loudly. Knowing there was only little left of what was holding Dan together, she approaches to his side and places her arm on his back. 

Dan squeezes her arm, letting her know the thoughtful gesture was very much appreciated.

“Why don’t you spend the entire day out?” She suggests. “After all, it is a weekend.”

“Shall we?” Phil raises his eyebrows at Dan like he was asking permission.

“Oh, of course we should!” Dan weakly agrees. “How about let’s eat breakfast first, yeah?” He sat down at the table and Phil followed. Louise however, remained on her feet. 

“You two should enjoy your day together; alone and without me.” She chuckles. “I should start heading off now. Thanks for the invite, Philly.”

“Oh, you aren’t staying for breakfast at least?” Phil stares at Louise.

Louise shakes her head politely. “I need to cook for Darcy and Liam at home. Can't have my two children starving.”

“Right.” Phil knew she was joking about Liam being her second child but guessed this 'Darcy' must be Louise’s actual daughter and took a mental note to go and see her sometime.

She pats Dan’s shoulder. “Anyways, you boys have fun alright?”

Dan takes this signal and stands up to accompany Louise to the door as Phil waves her goodbye in his seat. 

As they were away from Phil’s line of sight, Louise whispers to Dan. “I know what happened back there, Danny.”

Dan just looks back at her regretfully.

“Come on, only until you finish your exam, right? Give it a chance, you need the help.” She says with a hug. Dan squeezes her back with a small mutter of “thanks,” before she finally turns away and Dan returns to his seat.

“Dan I also need to tell you something.” Phil says suddenly, avoiding Dan’s eyes.

_What._

Phil sighs and continues. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

Dan was frozen. He was holding his breath, nervous and uneasy.

Phil gives him a look. “Come on, Dan. I’m not _that_ stupid.”

 _Did he figure it out?_ Dan remembers the doctor from the hospital telling him how anything from Phil’s past could possibly trigger his memories randomly and he worries if Phil managed to find anything.

“I can tell you were hiding something.”

Dan’s heart was beating so fast. This wasn’t how he expected this to happen.

“I was really confused why you felt so distant. And for a while I just thought, maybe something was wrong, you know? With me, with us…”

The more Dan watched Phil, the more he wanted to cry. But he shouldn’t. He’s the one at fault here. He doesn’t have the right.

“Phil, I’m…” Dan croaks.

“No, Dan.” Phil interrupts. “It was wrong for me to assume things. I mean, it turned out to be our anniversary! Sadly, I couldn’t even remember something as important as that.” He shakes his head, disappointed in himself.

He looks up at Dan. “I just wanted to be honest with you, that’s all.” Phil smiles and stands up. He takes Dan’s hand, pulling him up as well.

Dan wanted to say so much more. He opens his mouth but Phil continues, stopping him. “It doesn’t matter anymore, what happened before. I just want to enjoy this new life with you, okay?”

Avoiding Phil’s gaze, Dan doesn’t notice the tear rolling down on his cheek until Phil wipes it off using his thumb. He gets startled and Phil laughs fondly.

“Why are you crying? There’s still the entire day to celebrate, come on!” He nudges Dan slightly.

Dan sniffs and sits down, “You have no idea.”

Phil just smiles at him softly. “Let’s just eat the pancakes I worked hard on. You are not even ready for the taste.”

Dan rolls his eyes but smiles. “Get over yourself, mate.”

Phil chuckles a bit then his eyebrows shoot up, “Oh, wait.” He dashes to the kitchen again.

On his seat, Dan sighs deeply trying to compose himself when he suddenly hears Phil shriek in pain. He quickly rushes to the kitchen.

“Phil? What happened?”

There was a plate with a variety of fruits in the middle of being chopped, and a paring knife nearby. 

“Dan—oh my god, I was being stupid. I’m gonna die, there’s so much blood.” Phil was holding his left hand on the wrist, there was a small cut on the palm.

Dan’s alarmed expression dropped into one of fondness once he realised the situation wasn't as grave as he thought it was. “Alright, calm down.” He approaches Phil and takes the injured hand to the faucet. “Come on, let's wash off all the dirt on it, yeah?”

Phil was looking away from his hand. He grunts and winced slightly as soon as the water got in contact with his wound. Then he felt Dan slowly guiding him to where they keep the first-aid kit.

“How bad is it? The room is spinning; I think I’m about to faint, oh god.” Phil babbles.

“You are _not_ ,” Dan reassures.

“Your hand is too warm, Dan.”

People tend to comment that about him in general, so it shouldn’t really hit any less different this time—but it did. 

“You are just panicking too much. Now, relax okay? You are with a _trained_ professional.”

Once he sprayed the disinfectant, Phil instantly retracted his hand. “ _Ah_! What the hell are you doing?!” He hissed.

“Cleaning the cut! My god, you are such a baby.” Dan was calm despite his grin. He opens his hand for Phil to place his on. “I got this, I took a whole class on it.” He adds.

Phil pouts but returns his hand to be treated. “Addressing wounds?”

“Dealing with hysterical patients.” Dan smirks, glancing at him. 

Phil scoffs but laughed slightly. He immediately feels the soothing sensation of the ointment after Dan applied it. 

He watches Dan intricately wrap his hand with a bandage, “You have a very good bedside manner.” He comments.

“You think so?” Dan’s eyes light up.

Phil hums in reply.

“Sometimes I worry about that.” Dan finishes bandaging, “There you go, good as new.”

After a while of staring at his hand, Phil looks up at Dan, “Thank you for taking care of me.”

Dan blushes, “Of course. I-it’s just a wound, Phil. It’s no big deal.”

“I mean…” Phil continues, “For ten years? Not a lot of couples last this long.” He sighs, “It must’ve been really tough putting up with someone like me so, thanks.”

“Well, you know. It wasn’t easy.” Dan smiles at him, “But I’m quite a lot to put up with too, so I guess we’re even.” He shrugs.

Phil smiles back and they just stay like that for a while—just smiling and gazing at each other, until Phil finally says, “Come on, let’s eat the pancakes and the bloody fruits I worked so hard on so we can finally start celebrating our anniversary.”

* * *

“My brother was found dead a week ago.” Martha announces, feigning sorrow in front of the entire staff of “Phil’s” resort hotel.

There were murmurs of shock and confusion from the crowd.

She sighs shakily, pretending she was holding back her tears. “I know, it’s appalling. I have also been doing my best to cope.”

Séan, the family butler, furrows his eyebrows in suspicion but didn’t dare speak as it wasn’t his place to, and as well as to give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

“In this time of mourning, I want to thank everyone who has ever been of any assistance to my brother’s happiness in his brief life.” She pauses to reveal a special looking urn. “His memory will live on in all of us.”

The room was quiet, filled with everyone’s thoughts and unspoken questions of the matter.

“I trust everyone can carry through today despite the burden of our loss.” She pauses and says, “Dismissed.” And turns around as the crowd quickly disperses.

Martha goes to Phil’s room whilst tightly carrying the urn. Once she arrives and locks the door behind her, she discards the empty urn to the side. _Merely a decoy for now_ , she thought.

Making sure she moves quickly so that everything will fall into place with her plan, she will have to contact their father now and lie to him about the “devastating” news of Phil’s death. And so she does.

“An accident?!” Their father shouts in disbelief.

She was back to fake crying again and mentally curses as her eyes were getting worn out. 

“We will hold a funeral then, where is he?” Her father adamantly said after some time of interval.

“Forgive me for acting without your approval but I have already consented to cremating his… corpse.” She says in between her fake sobs.

“So it was that bad… I suppose it is for the better then.” Her father was then silent for a while, in thought. “I’m flying over there as soon as possible.”

She was about to try and bring up about the hotel, to hint about her availability in managing it but he continues for her, “In the meantime, you take care of his hotel.” Her stomach flutters in surprise and celebration.

“I couldn’t possibly…” She says, guising her eagerness and to fortify his conviction.

“You’re very skilled and talented, Martha. I believe your management is exactly what that hotel needs right now.”

 _And soon, it will be what the company will get._ Martha smirks. “I’m truly humbled, father. All in my brother’s honour. I’ll see you in a couple weeks’ time.” The call ends.

Time to look for this _Howell_.


	9. uwu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the date

Bright but cozy is the entire motif of the coffee shop Dan and Phil are in. Dozens of hanging lamps were sprucely arranged —lights still out though, as it was afternoon. There were large potted houseplants, some small cacti and the furniture were in different shades of beige or maroon. The dimly-lit interior made the windows stand out as they reflect the sunlight in such a beautiful way where the glass glistened.

Phil gave himself a pat on the back for being able to find a seat where he could admire the view at the window and as well as perfectly sight Dan who was currently standing in a queue to order them drinks from the counter.

He smiles, admiring how Dan’s usual curly hair was puffier today, making it look softer and brighter especially in the gentle glow of the sun from where he was standing.

As Dan scrolls through his phone, he looks up and meets Phil’s eyes like he felt a gaze on him. He gives Phil a look as if to ask, _what are you staring at?_

 _Nothing_. Phil shrugs and feels his cheeks flush, not expecting to be caught by Dan.

The latter smirks and shakes his head. _Weirdo_. He goes back to using his phone.

Dan finally hears his name being called by the barista, he was handed a tray with his and Phil’s drinks on it. As Dan turns, the tray almost collides with a red-haired woman who was also rushing to the counter.

“Whoops, I’m so sorry…” He hastily checks to see if there were any spilled contents while still tightly holding up the tray.

“No worries! I was the one that wasn’t looking.” The lady’s pale skin made her striped, flashy-colored jumpsuit really stick out. She looks up at Dan and recognition flashes through her face.

She points at him, unsure. “Dan?” She asks slowly.

“Yes?” He replies with an equal amount of uncertainty— possibly even more.

“Oh, hi! Sorry, I’m Sharon.” She extends her hand to shake.

Since Dan’s hands were both occupied, he had to fumble with the tray for a bit and quickly searched for a platform to place it. He settles for the counter then shakes her hand.

 _Have we met?_ He thinks. He resisted the strong urge to verbalise it though, as he’d rather avoid the risk of coming across as rude or offensive so he just smiles awkwardly instead.

As if reading his mind, she says, “We haven’t properly met.” She rolls her eyes guiltily. “I’ve just heard a lot about you from Bobby actually!” She adds cheerfully.

Sharon flips her long hair and Dan remains dumbfounded. _What exactly does she mean by “a lot”?_

“He’s actually just outside. I told him I’d be quick in buying the drinks but I forgot the pastries, so I just had to go back!” She chuckles, waving the paper bag in her hand. “It’s not my fault my hands are too small to hold orders for two people, you know?”

Dan really couldn’t keep up with Sharon’s continuous chattering. In fact, he was still stuck on the last thing she said about Bobby.

“Speaking of, there he is right there!”

Eyes widening, Dan looks past Sharon and sure enough, he sees Bobby walking towards them.

Bobby meets his stare and returns the stupefied look. “Dan?”

Dan just slightly nods at the acknowledgement, quickly looking away.

“Ahem, so you’ve met Sharon, a real pain in the neck.” Bobby says, earning him Sharon’s elbow to his side and making him laugh a bit uncomfortably.

From the table, Phil glances back at Dan from his trance at the window. Phil had noted Dan’s look of discomfort with the way his foot bounces and he looks around the place avoiding the faces of the two people in front of him.

Phil wonders the context of their conversation and why Dan got dragged in, in the first place, since he looked like he desperately wanted to get out of it. Phil stares at them, quietly assessing the situation.

The woman then waves them off, leaving Dan and the man alone. That remaining person hardly seemed suspicious at first, but judging by how Dan is reacting to the man’s words really hinted some distrustful impressions on Phil. His concern and urge to interfere rose even more as he narrows his eyes and watches them thoroughly.

Dan’s stunned expression softens from what the man had last said, then he starts smiling and avoiding his eyes. Phil raises an eyebrow. Is he _flirting_ with Dan?

As Dan turns his head to the direction of where Phil was seated, he finds only his bag occupying the chair. He starts looking around, only to be jumpscared by the man himself—Phil, standing behind him.

“Hey, _love_. I was wondering why you were taking so long.” Phil purrs.

Dan stares at Phil for a while, curious of the odd way Phil greeted him. “Oh Phil, this is Bobby.” He gestures to the blonde man across them. “Bobby, this is Phil—”

“—his husband.” Phil chimes and wraps his arm around Dan’s waist. Although Phil was fully aware of how unnecessary this gesture was, it’s not like he wasn’t allowed to be all showy with Dan, right? It's only natural for them to be like this—they _are_ a couple after all.

The gentle but firm hold on Dan’s waist pulled him closer to Phil. Dan shudders, it was his first time being this physically close to Phil. “Yeah, indeed he is.” Dan said, shifting his eyes.

“It’s great to meet you.” Bobby shakes Phil’s hand.

Despite this statement, it didn’t take long before Bobby politely excused himself and said he “had to make it before traffic hours.” Phil simply smiles when waving him off.

Even though it slightly felt like Bobby left too quickly when Phil arrived at the scene, there’s hardly any concern in him for Bobby. If anything, he’s glad Dan doesn’t have to worry about Bobby anymore. Or at least, Phil doesn’t anyway.

After that encounter, Dan and Phil don’t talk about it despite so many unspoken thoughts wanting to be expressed from both parties. Instead, they also decide to head off to the nearest theatre to catch a film while finishing their drinks.

“Alright, so _maybe_ I can misplace my review papers quite often, but that’s normal!” Dan says defensively.

“It is _not_.” Phil replies. “Files as important as those shouldn’t just be lying around everywhere where they could be flown by the wind or snatched by a pigeon.”

Dan’s face contorts at the strangeness of the last bit Phil said while Phil just laughs at this, counting it as a victory point in this argument since he managed to make Dan shut up. “Seriously! You leave it near open windows a lot, then you go and procrastinate somewhere else.” Phil adds.

“Stop attacking me, what the fuck!” Dan blushes in embarrassment. “At least the kitchen still looks like a kitchen after _I_ make coffee.”

Phil stopped grinning at once. “Woah, hey. _What_ —what is this? This isn’t the ‘who can bring up most shameful habits contest.’”

“Bold words from the person who called the shots.” Dan retorts. He stares at Phil and had a tiny, defiant pout.

Phil holds the stare then narrows his eyes at Dan. “You’re just lucky I fight the pigeons before they could take your papers.”

“You have my gratitude. O, great and powerful bird slayer.” Dan rolls his eyes.

The banter was briefly interrupted by a strong gust of wind, causing Phil to look up at the sky. Every sign of rain was evident but before either of them could react, the drizzle poured and progressively grew stronger by the second.

Dan and Phil immediately dashed to the nearest shelter. They both panted, catching their breaths upon reaching a small, abandoned shed. It appeared to be a closed establishment of some sort. Phil glances at Dan who was drying his hair by patting and aggressively shaking his hand through it, “I should’ve brought my coat, or at least an umbrella.” Dan grumbles. “Now my nipples are freezing.”

Phil snorts, “Your nipples are the last thing I expected to hear about today.” Phil shakes his head but removes his own coat and offered it to Dan.

From the way Dan’s head shot up and the way his mouth twitched, Phil could tell he was about to say something but seeing Phil’s olive green coat being handed to him, made Dan stop and stare at it for a moment.

“No! It’s okay, I wasn’t asking for your—I'm fine! what about you?” Dan fumbles with his words. Phil simply shakes his head, encouraging Dan to take the coat. Dan gives Phil a look as if he was confirming the offer one last time, then gingerly takes it.

“Thanks.” Dan says wrapping it around his shoulders.

“I guess this means we won’t be heading to the theatre anymore? Unless you still want to, that is.”

Phil shrugs, “I don’t mind, really.” After giving Dan his coat, the gloomy weather and his partially soaked shoes don’t seem to trouble him at all anymore. Whereas Dan is quite the opposite. He was nipping at his chapped lips and looked bothered by something.

Rather than asking about it, Phil merely wanted to distract Dan from becoming entirely upset so he says, “I have an idea, come on.” He takes Dan’s hand and before the latter could react, Phil pulls him out of the shelter and into the rain.

“Phil, what’re you doing? You’ll get sick!” Dan held up the coat as an umbrella and reached out in an attempt to shield Phil from the rain as well.

“Not if we run fast enough!”

Since Dan’s left hand was holding Phil’s, he could only use the other one for shielding himself and not Phil. “You can’t just Sonic yourself out of this, you buffoon!”

Phil’s laugh eases Dan and temporarily obscures his worry, until they finally come to a stop under a roofed pavement. Dan brushes the water droplets off the coat, still looking the same way he did before Phil dragged him in the rain again. His shoulders drop at the sight of Phil however.

“You’re soaking.”

“No, I’m Sonic. See?” Phil raises his arms showing Dan how reasonably dry they are.

Dan sighs, not knowing where to begin. “You, wha—really? _Phil_ , your hair!” He goes closer to ruffle Phil’s hair and water sprays off of it.

Phil chuckles with his tongue-bite-thing™. “ _Wait_ , I can fix this.” He then shakes his head vigorously like a dog after its bath. Dan stares at him, unimpressed the whole time.

“Straight hair privilege." Dan grumbled as Phil grinned at him. "We could’ve just waited for the rain to stop, you know.”

“I wanted to watch the sunset.” Phil ran his hands through his hair to rearrange his quiff, looking like a model for a hair product. “It’s romantic.”

Dan briefly gets distracted by the sight but then laughs and gives Phil a disbelieving look, “How? It’s literally raining.”

As if on cue—and as if the universe wanted to shit on Dan, the rain slowed to a stop. Phil wanted to point out how rain was also romantic on its own, instead, he looks around, impressed. “Well, there we go. The romantic sunset date continues.”

Dan wanted to curse at the rain for its convenient and biased timing, however he gets sidetracked by the realisation of the place they were currently at. 

“Did you just… Take me to a skybar?” Dan gapes.

“Just thought it’d be more appropriate, you know?” Phil steps forth and joins Dan in admiring the tall and modern-themed building with glass panel walls.

Dan smirks, facing Phil, “Should’ve expected nothing more from the romance expert.”

Phil beams and opens his arms, displaying himself, “Do I look presentable now?”

His hair was now tame, his clothes still mildly damp but better than its earlier predicament at least. Objectively, Phil just looks slightly rained on like Dan—even though he was literally drenched from running through it, twice.

“Your hair just seems over gelled.” Dan tilts his head, “But it’s a strong look, you can surprisingly pull it off.”

Heat rises in Phil’s pale cheeks at the unexpected compliment but hoped it would go unnoticed by Dan by pulling a smirk.

Dan grabs Phil’s hand this time, he had a playful glint in his eyes that bore into Phil’s own. “Let’s go catch the sunset, Sonic.”

Phil was caught off-guard with the nickname as he allows himself to get dragged inside the building and into the lift by Dan. “Please don’t call me that anymore.” He whines.

As it turns out, they did catch the sunset but it was as the lift ascends.

The orange glow of the sun filled the enclosure as Phil glances around, marvelling at the light. His eyes then settle on Dan’s, staring at the view of the city. Dan’s brown eyes reflected the scene of dusk, becoming a beautiful mix of amber and gold.

Those honey-colored orbs shift at Phil’s direction, meeting his own. “You’re missing it.” Dan gestures to the glass window.

“Am I? I don’t know, I feel like I found something better.” Phil, filled with sudden unknown courage, began inching closer and felt like he was moving involuntarily. His hand cups Dan’s soft cheek and tilts his face. Time felt like it slowed down for a brief moment and Phil could only hear the beating of his own heart.

He closes his eyes when suddenly they hear the familiar ding of the lift signaling their arrival on the top floor.

Dan and Phil both immediately compose themselves right before the doors open.

 _This situation is all too familiar_. Phil couldn't help thinking, and displays a neutral face while stepping out and follows the maître d' ushering them to their table.

The evening flowed smoothly as they joke around with each other more whilst having their dinner. There was something comforting about this dynamic they’ve built in the supposedly labelled “romantic” night. Because who’s to say a night of romance only meant something that’s strictly dramatic and serious anyways?

It gave Dan something to genuinely reflect on. In the first place, he didn’t notice the change in their dynamic that made it so natural for the two of them to have a disastrous afternoon but then lead to this amazing evening on a skybar as the day slowly closes.

They stood at the balcony to appreciate the overlook of the cityscape, especially now that it’s nighttime.

“I think we can both agree the city looks 12 million times more beautiful at night.” Dan continues to be awed by the scene.

Phil hums, “It’s not exactly ugly in the morning.” He reasons.

“Are you kidding me, it’s so ugly. Everything’s dull and crowded, at least in the night you get pretty lights like these.”

Phil rolls his eyes, “I think it’s just mostly the crowd with you.”

Dan fully laughs, a loud but pleasant sound to Phil’s ears.

“Dan?”

“Hmm?”

“What were you talking about with Bobby?”

Dan faces him slowly. To Phil’s surprise, Dan smirks. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Did I interrupt something between you two?”

“No! God, no.” Dan looks at Phil reassuringly and sighs. “He just actually told me he’s happy for me. And that I look happier as well, for the first time in a long while.” Dan smiles.

“Are you?” Phil twists his torso to face Dan.

Dan pretends to contemplate, “I think I am, yeah.” He nods.

“Really? Why is that?” Phil grins, raising his eyebrows.

“It’s cause I watched this really good medical drama show and it totally inspired me to study for my exams harder.” Dan replies nonchalantly.

Phil’s expression drops as Dan laughs again. He gets a strange swell of satisfaction every time he makes Dan laugh like that though.

“Do you see those two stars really close together?” Phil points suddenly. “You know, there’s this one story—or was it a legend? That was about—”

“Oh, here we go.” Dan comments.

Phil shushes him, earning a playful giggle from the latter. “It was about a poor but very pretty housemaid called Catherine, who has caught the eye of the prince she was working for.”

“Wait so, you don’t remember anything yet you remember this _legend_?”

“Err, it’s a very famous legend.” Phil defends and Dan rolls his eyes. “So, they fell in love—”

“Of course.” Dan remarks.

“—but the King forbade it. He couldn’t have his own son running around with a _commoner_.” Phil hears Dan dramatically scoff at this.

“So the king made the prince leave the mainland. The heavens mourned for the separation of the two and turned them into stars so they could be together in all eternity.”

Dan raises his eyebrow, “This now sounds suspiciously like one of the shows the kitchen guys always talk about.”

“I really have no idea what you’re on about.” Phil avoids Dan’s eyes and chuckles guiltily.

“The gods kind of allowed the couple to meet, I think—once each year… In their human form. Then Catherine, who up until that point was resisting the prince because of some _test she had to study for_ —” Phil rolls his eyes.

Dan gives him a knowing look.

“—finally lets the prince kiss her.”

“I’m not gonna say this definitely sounds made up.” Dan jerks his head to the side. “But maybe, Cath should’ve just given up on the prince so he could focus on leading his kingdom instead?”

“Ugh, That’s too depressing! The two stars were birthed because of this—”

A small gasp escapes from Phil as he gets cut off by Dan gently grabbing his collar and kissing him without warning. 

Butterflies flutter in Phil’s stomach as he feels nothing but Dan’s soft lips against his. Phil’s arms snake around Dan’s waist to hold him in place.

Dan momentarily pulls away, their noses still touching. He smiles, sensing Phil chase his lips as he whispers, “Never say _‘birthed’_ again.” 

Phil lets out a husky laugh. “Make me?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phil's "made-up legend" is loosely based on the story of Tanabata from Japanese folklore :))


	10. smh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the deal

Legs were entangled in the middle of the once wide and empty bed, the duvet creased but pulled up on waist level. Phil’s arms are wrapped around Dan’s bare torso.

“Was it always this good?” Phil muses.

Dan titters, shifting his eyes. “Everything with you feels like the first time.”

Phil nuzzles Dan’s nape with his nose. Dan instinctively raises his shoulders to hide his neck then elbows Phil in the stomach.

“ _Oof_.” Phil makes a sound.

“Neck.” Dan warns and turns around to face Phil. He had a stern expression.

“Oh, sorry.” Phil giggles. “I guess it’s off-limits now.”

Dan rolls his eyes, suppressing a smile. “Shut up.”

Phil leans in to kiss the tip of Dan’s nose, causing Dan’s eyes to flutter out of shock.

When Dan looks up to see Phil smiling at him, he hides his blushing face on Phil’s chest. “Jesus Christ, Phil. Stop being so cheesy!” He whines.

Phil’s chest vibrates as Dan hears him laugh deeply.

Change doesn’t happen overnight—apparently change takes a week for Phil. It was the first of many nights Phil slept on the bed. Somehow it just became like the natural order of placement for both of them, among other things. Every part of the apartment felt more like a shared space; boundaries were overcome increasingly as time passed by.

Then the day Dan has been preparing for, finally came.

“You really didn’t have to come with me, Phil.” Dan says for the nth time as he paces across the testing centre. Although due to his nerves, it came out more like a mumble.

Dan gets stopped by Phil grabbing his shoulders. Phil caresses them soothingly, “Hey, hey. Look at me.”

Dan does.

“Breathe.”

Dan follows Phil breathing slowly with him. There was no doubt how incredibly thankful he was for the latter’s voice to tether him to reality at the moment. He tries conveying his gratitude with his eyes instead as his mouth refuses to cooperate.

“You can do this, alright?” Phil holds eye contact, “What is the best test for liver dysfunction?”

Dan’s head shot up, “Prothrombin time.”

“There, see?” Phil’s face lights up.

Dan raises an eyebrow, “Can you even tell if that was correct?”

“I mean, _was_ it wrong?” Phil gives Dan a look.

“No.” Dan rolls his eyes albeit smiling slightly this time. “Thanks, Phil.” He goes in for a hug. Knowing Phil didn’t even think twice about Dan getting the wrong answer, really gave Dan a strong boost of confidence in himself as well—and that’s already more than enough.

“Of course.”

As Dan was about to pull away, Phil snuck a quick kiss on Dan’s cheek. Before Dan could react or complain, Phil says, “For good luck—not that you need it.”

“You and your bloody sneak attacks.” Dan narrows his eyes and smiles fondly at him, unable to hold it back. “Right, I really need to head inside and _you_ need to go as well. Liam’s gonna throw a brick at your face if you get late.”

He waits until Phil’s silhouette slowly disappears in the distance before turning to the entrance of the building. Dan takes a deep breath. _Let’s do this_.

Many hours later, the long and stressful exam that would determine Dan’s entire future eventually ends. Though somehow for the first time, Dan didn’t feel upset or crushed when walking out of an exam. If anything, he feels rather quite confident.

Dan sighs, this time filled with satisfaction. The long days of studying were finally over. That is, if he passes…

But what if he doesn’t?

Oh, _god_ . What if he _fails_?

Dan’s heart beats rapidly as the panic increases. He was about to get lost in all the existential fear and anxiety thinking about the possibilities and alternatives he will have to make if it doesn’t end as he hoped it would.

He was in the middle of walking to the corner of the building when he suddenly hears a distant yet somehow familiar voice that sends chills down his spine.

_“Daniel Howell.”_

He turns his head towards the approaching voice in full attention, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights. Although the unexpected interruption caused the panic attack to subside, Dan didn’t have time to process that anymore. His brain was busy deciphering the new dilemma.

Dan squints at the nearing figure, trying to get any recognition until he hears the familiar clicking of heels.

Blood drains from his face as the realisation kicks in. “You—you’re…”

A tall, slender woman with mousy brown hair neatly swept into a bun steps into view and stands right in front of Dan. “Hmm, I must admit, I’m a bit surprised you recognize me.”

She scoffs, “I’m one to talk.” —her hand waves dismissively in the air— “To be fair, that’s not the only thing that surprised me about you, if I’m being honest.” She smirks, accentuating her bright red lipstick.

Then despite her initial statement, she extends her hand in between the two of them. “Martha Lester.” She says, mostly out of formalities sake.

Dan was frozen, his brain couldn’t muster up any words. He tentatively shook her hand, on edge the entire time.

“Come on,” She invites him inside an expensive-looking parked car on hazard, by the backseat—which definitely meant she’s not alone.

Dan wanted to run but seeing as her car is right next to them, the smartest choice would most likely be to just go with her.

He’s never felt more tense than he is right now as he sits next to Martha. He makes sure the space is large enough so he could still manage to breathe but also enough for it not to give away how scared he actually was.

“Before I begin, I think it’s important to rip off the plaster and say: I’m not going to get you arrested.” She says as the car starts driving off somewhere Dan doesn’t know.

It felt like the knot in Dan’s chest loosened up a little. He knits his eyebrows together though, still feeling quite unsure. His whole rigid body faced Martha so it still seemed like they were sitting across from each other.

“You’re welcome, by the way.” Martha then pauses, eyeing him from head to toe. “I don’t know what you did to Phil, but it’s impressive. That thing earlier? I thought that was a performance.”

Confusion continues to build up in Dan’s mind as he just stares at her, not knowing where to begin with his questions. “Earlier?” He echoes, then slowly begins to understand.

“Yes, I’ve been here and waiting for you since morning.” She supplies for him.

Dan squares his shoulders, “What do you want?” In the back of his mind, he thinks about how dodgy it was for her not to show up when Phil could’ve seen her. He knows she’s up to something… But what exactly?

Martha snickers, “I want to thank you!” She gestures to Dan.

 _She what, now?_ It doesn’t make sense.

“You fixed my brother, made him sort his life out…”

 _Fixed?_ Dan frowns.

Apprehension fills him, in hearing that word. Despite fully knowing how that context fits Phil’s growth in the past few weeks—in a way, it felt strange how he’s given credit for everything. Did he really turn Phil’s life around in full 360°? Dan is pretty sure he helped kickstart it, but it was mostly Phil that changed on his own volition, right?

“—everyone is happy this way.”

Dan zoning out in the middle of Martha’s speech definitely got him lost with the point she was making.

“I’m sorry?” He blurts.

“You’ve done my family a service, Howell.” She nods in consideration, “I just feel like it’s common courtesy to extend my gratitude, and I want to let you know I appreciate your effort.”

“You want me to… _What_?” His disorientation came out more like shock to Martha. 

He slides a hand through his curls, thinking things through. It appeared to Dan as if she’s making it sound like he did it for her, like a debt or something—which obviously wasn’t _ever_ one. Then Dan suddenly felt weirdly protective over Phil, knowing how dangerous his sister is.

“That’s right. You get to keep your happy husband.” She confirms.

“I don’t understand.” _There must be a catch_ , Dan thinks.

Martha simply says, “I’m on your side.”

Dan’s forehead wrinkles.

“Just make sure it stays that way.” She says, “I might even offer you a stable job at a high-paying company, if you’re up for it.”

The next thing Dan knows; he’s being dropped off in another part of the city, it was a bit near to where he lives and remotely to where Louise does too.

“Wouldn’t want to blow our cover and appear in front of my brother together now, would we?” Martha says from the open window of the car.

Dan weakly smiles in response as the car drove off.

One thing’s for sure, he definitely doesn’t want to go home and face Phil yet.

* * *

Louise hears her own doorbell ring and she heads to the door.

“Dan, hi!” She greets him with a hug.

He hugs back, “Something happened.”

“What’s wrong?” She immediately sounds concerned, “Oh no, did you fail your exam?! Don’t worry hun...” Louise gives him an apologetic look.

“Wha—no, the results come out _days_ later. That’s not—”

“Oh.” She smiles, “Why don’t you step inside then? You’re a bit cold.” She leads him inside the house.

They walk on the hallway but Dan stops them. “Wait, it’s important.”

The look of concern never left Louise while facing him. “Are you alright Dan?”

“I just,” —he sighs, “It’s about Phil.”

Louise eyebrows shoot up, “Phil? Why, what happened?”

“He’s alright, it’s just… I kind of…” Dan’s eyes dart everywhere, he was fiddling with his hands.

She places her hand on his shoulder, “Let’s go have some tea over this, come on.”

As Dan was about to say something along the lines of “alright” or “thanks Louise”, but then _Phil_ ’s voice interrupts him.

“Dan?” He meekly calls from the corner of the hallway.

Dan quickly turns his head towards him, “Phil?” It sounded like a question. He glances back at Louise, “ _Why is he here_?!” He strongly whispers to her, gesturing at Phil.

Louise opens her mouth, about to say something that’s possibly an explanation.

“I can hear you.” Phil steps out of the corner and approaches them, “What’s wrong?”

Dan stares at the smiling Phil. “What’re you doing here? Did you skip work or something?” 

Phil pauses in consideration, chuckling slightly. “Well it does seem that way.”

“I invited him, actually.” Louise answers.

Dan gapes between the two of them, “What is it with these spontaneous invitations you two have that I discover for myself?”

Phil and Louise exchange a similar, seemingly-innocent smile and shrug.

Later, Dan and Louise were sat at a table and finally having some tea. Dan finds out that Louise only invited Phil because he offered to help with setting up for Darcy’s birthday party tomorrow.

“Granted you both will be there of course.” Louise says, on the topic of the party.

Dan sips his warm tea, “Wouldn’t miss it.” He enjoys the soothing flow of the warm drink especially in the cold weather, and how it slowly helped him calm his nerves.

Then he looks up and sees Phil playing with Darcy using her toys. A fond smile creeps up Dan’s face and he doesn’t even notice. “It feels like such a long time has passed already.”

Louise traces his line of sight, “I know, it’s strange but also… natural.”—she shrugs, “Never did it cross my mind how I would someday see Phil playing with my daughter.”

“He apparently likes being around children, what can I say?” Dan laughs. His brain really went through a lot of exhausting events today, and now that he’s in a relaxed situation it’s like his body is slowly powering down with his brain.

 _‘Could I get used to this life?_ ’

“Probably.” Louise says and Dan realises how he was actually thinking aloud. “I mean look at you two. You make each other the happiest.” She continues.

“Do we?” Dan wonders. After what happened, he can’t help but feel the guilt strongly again. He can’t help but think about how Phil is just a prisoner the entire time and everything is an illusion to mask the lies he’s being fed.

Louise places her hand on Dan’s, “I’ve seen the way he lights up when he talks about you. And when he sees you? Oh man, anyone could tell—in the best way possible.”

“Thanks for saying that last bit.” Dan and Louise both laugh. Then eventually, he sighs. _I’m really making everything more complicated._

Then he feels his shirt being tugged by Darcy, “Uncle Dan, I really like him.” She points a finger to Phil who was carefully assembling a jenga tower. 

Taken by surprise with Darcy’s sudden confession, he blinks then smiles at her, “I know love, me too.” He replies, patting the messy blonde curls on her head.

“He’s fun.” She added while helping herself to some pastries on the table.

Turns out he just generally can’t bring himself to talk about his crazy afternoon yet. It dawned on him how he’s responsible for Phil’s life. He could just keep everything as it is, where Phil can continue to live a “happy” life founded on lies… or not. He should do the right thing, but which is it?

  
  



	11. ugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the fight

There is definitely something off about Dan, Phil thinks as he sits alone by the table. He watches Louise and Liam wave off the leaving guests and thank them for coming to Darcy’s birthday party.

He sips the black currant juice drink in his glittery paper cup. Dan didn’t engage in much conversation with anyone during the entire party—including Phil. 

Phil really did try talking to him—emphasis on “tried”. Dan simply kept brushing it off, and even slightly felt like he was shooting down any sort of exchange. At one point, Phil asked if it was Dan’s exam result that was bothering him; to which Dan strongly disagreed. He scoffed and said “It’s nothing!” then walked off again.

 _It’s clearly not_ ‘ _nothing_ ’, Phil argues in his head. Every aspect about Dan’s behaviour says otherwise! 

So now, at the end of the party, Dan is nowhere to be seen and Phil is finishing his fourth consecutive glass, in his quiet retrospection about today.

Then from the corner of his eye, he sees Darcy crouching and giggling behind a tree near him. She notices him and goes behind his chair, shushing him.

“What’s going on?” Phil chuckles, “Hiding from Mummy?” He discreetly glances behind him.

She whispers something back but the softness of her voice wasn’t enough in the open space filled with various background noise, so he asks again. Instead of a response though, Darcy suddenly pulls his hand, causing him to stand up. Then still hiding behind him, she pushes Phil forward into the house.

Darcy’s laughter was highly contagious so despite being incredibly confused, Phil played along and allowed himself to get pushed by the small lady by the hip. He eventually arrives at the kitchen and spots Dan facing the wall with one hand leaning on the counter, facing away from the door they had just entered.

He feels himself getting pushed closer to Dan and then briefly stops, currently standing right across Dan.

Darcy jumps out and startles Dan, appearing into his view. They both laugh for a while until Dan sees Phil, his laugh then dissipates into a small smile.

There was a slight twinge in Phil’s chest, noticing this.

“I hid behind uncle Phil so there was really no chance you could spot me!” Darcy says proudly, interrupting the awkward tension rising between them.

“You really got me there, young miss.” Dan says even though he sensed their entrance earlier.

Darcy glances at Phil, “Actually I brought uncle Phil so you won’t be so sad anymore.”

Still keeping his smile, Dan shifts his eyes in thought. “But I never said I was sad.” said Dan, crouching to level with Darcy’s height. 

“Aren’t you sad without uncle Phil?” Darcy tilts her head.

There was a small flutter in Phil’s chest, noticing how Dan couldn’t immediately disagree. Somehow it gave him hope and it refreshed him from an entire day of looking for a possible fault he might’ve made that caused Dan to keep avoiding him. Perhaps there’s a chance to turn things around?

_Nope._

It stretched for _days_. As long as Phil didn’t pester Dan about what was troubling him anymore, routine kept flowing like usual and everything else seemed reasonably fine with Dan so Phil decided he'd rather not bring it up.

* * *

“There’s no point in hiding it, Dan. Just tell me what’s wrong.” Louise sternly says to Dan who was spacing out in front of a calendar.

“What?” Dan asks blankly.

“You heard me.” She gives him the mum-look™, “You visit here on a weekend, which implies wanting a chat, yet you’ve been extremely quiet. You keep staring at nothing and could barely hold a conversation with anyone, including me! _And_ , you're not wearing your earring. Clearly, there’s an explanation for these oddities with you.” She leans her back on the wall beside him.

The pizza diner only had a few customers in this time of late afternoon, giving the staff a reasonably laid back energy. So naturally, it allowed Louise to finally confront Dan.

Dan had no time to be astonished by Louise’s astute observations, or deny all of them, he sighs instead and buries his face in his hands, “I just honestly don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Oh, Dan.” Louise sympathises and places a hand on his back, “It’s still about Phil, isn’t it?”

Dan nods.

“If I may, I’d just really advise you the typical rubbish like _follow your heart_ —” Louise rolls her eyes.

Dan looks up from his hands _. Seriously?_ He had a small incredulous smile.

“—but really, you shouldn’t punish yourself too much. Just let yourself be treated by Phil. He’s trying his very best, you know. That one morning? He asked help from me so he could prepare the ‘ _perfect’_ breakfast for you. _And_ , he requested to take all your shifts just before your exam. ”

Though Dan remains conflicted, warmth filled his chest at this discovery .

“He kept asking me how else he could help you study since you seemed so troubled. Speaking of, you haven’t even told me about your exam yet!” 

“Oh it was intimidating,” Dan immediately answers, deciding he’ll just continue to procrastinate about his ‘little’ problem since Louise opened the opportunity for a distraction. He knows Louise genuinely cares, she just has this habit of quickly drifting with topics in her mind which is usually hard to keep up with, but right now is what he prefers. 

He reached inside his pocket for his wallet, thinking of showing his exam permit to Louise only to find an empty space right next to his phone where his wallet normally is.

“Hold on,” Dan says, searching for it in his backpack this time.

His face pales, “I think my wallet might be missing.” Dan says, still failing to locate the item. 

“Maybe it’s at home?”

“I’ll go and check.” Before he could even finish the sentence, he was off.

Dan was panicking the entire time he made his way back to his flat. As he stands in the lift waiting for it to reach his floor, his lungs felt like cotton wool and his heart was beating so fast it might actually explode out of his chest. The regret of not doing much cardio suddenly enters his mind—but was quickly dismissed. 

He wastes no second when the doors open, dashing out and barging inside his flat.

As he was about to start rummaging in his room, he sees Phil sitting on the bed and looking up at him with a flat expression.

Dan ignores Phil for now, overwhelmed by the concern of his wallet’s whereabouts. He opens his bedside drawer and searches, “I swear I brought it with me.” He mumbles, distraught.

Little did he know, Phil also had important concerns that just couldn’t be disregarded easily anymore, like what Dan had been doing to him for quite some time now. 

_“Dan.”_

The displeased uncharacteristic monotonous call went straight to Dan’s ear, making him stop and turn to Phil. Dan furrows his eyebrows.

Phil had an unreadable expression, “What is this?” He holds up a pair of boxer shorts.

At first, it just seemed like a normal and totally-not-suspicious underwear Dan probably owns, until he sees the tag, labelling it as a ‘ _luxury_ underwear’. 

Then it slowly clicked. It was what the hospital gave Dan among the other clothes Phil wore last before ending up there. 

“Funny how you ask that,” Dan says, “I can explain…”

“Please do.” Phil asserts. There is a certain glint in his eye that tells Dan he’s really pissed despite his impassive expression.

 _This is all really just a misunderstanding_! Although Dan is troubled by it, he’s still in the middle of struggling with his missing wallet. “It’s really not what you think.”

It quickly felt like the wrong response as Phil quirked an eyebrow after hearing this, “Is it?? Well what _should_ I be thinking then? Enlighten me.”

To Phil it just seemed like Dan was still disregarding the matter, like he’s invalidating the weight of Phil’s discovery. And it’s really adding more fuel to Phil’s pent up frustrations.

Dan on the other hand, can’t be bothered. Phil is getting unnecessarily worked up over something so stupid Dan couldn’t even properly explain because his mind is too occupied with recalling the last time he was carrying his wallet.

“It’s yours! Alright?” Dan blurts, unintentionally raising his voice in the process.

Folding his lips, Phil jerked his head to the side. “You really think…”—he raises an eyebrow— “we can afford, _Derek Rose Bailey Silk Boxer Shorts_?!”

Shutting the bedside drawer, Dan rolls his eyes, thankful he’s facing away from Phil, “This is insane.” He scoffs at the irony of the situation, “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s nothing, alright?” Dan moves to crouch and check under the bed.

There it is again. _“It’s nothing.”_ Phil has seriously reached his limit.

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?!” Phil stands up, “Oh, I’m _sorry_ for overreacting while you’re clearly busy with something more important. It’s just that my husband has _someone else’s underwear_ hidden in his closet! We made a vow, Dan! Years ago! Or maybe _you_ forgot this time!” He waves the underwear angrily.

 _God, he’s so dramatic_ . Dan also stands up this time, then faces Phil. He sighs exasperatedly, “Alright fine, you want to know the truth?” Dan swallows thickly. “You know, I’m _glad_ you brought this up because I’ve been finding a way to tell you this.” 

Phil just gives him a demanding look in response.

“We’re not really married.” _Fuck_. The words were out before Dan could even have second thoughts.

There was a short pause.

“Have I not made you happy?” Phil eventually said, his shoulders were drooping and there was hurt in his eyes, he looked like a kicked puppy.

“YES! You so very much did, but that’s not the point! I’m not your husband, you don’t live here!” Dan holds Phil’s hands, desperate for Phil not to misunderstand anymore.

However, it was to no avail as Phil continues to miss the point, “You’re kicking me out?” 

“NOOOO!” Dan whines, then he was interrupted by the vibrating phone in his pocket. He glances at it, out of reflex.

Phil takes this distraction as an opportunity to storm out of the room.

“Phil!” Dan calls and runs after him but as soon as Dan walked out of the room, he slips and stumbles on a pile of laundry in the middle of the floor.

His knee throbs in pain then he sees what caused his fall. The lying mess Phil left, irritates him a bit as he tries to get up. 

Then Dan hears the door to their flat close.

_Shit._

After a difficult effort of disentangling himself with the clothes, he runs out of the door and to the lift.

One was occupied and one was at the lobby.

Dan curses, _why does this place only have two lifts?!_ He bounces his leg impatiently.

* * *

“ _Great news! I found your wallet in the locker, it’s with me now. I’m on my way to yours_.” Louise’s text reads.

This was sent minutes before Louise had already arrived at Dan’s apartment.

Louise was now about to enter the building when she sees Phil rush past her. She turns her head and made sure it was actually Phil before quickly calling his name. Despite Phil’s slight hesitation at first, he eventually approaches her. 

She notices how Phil was looking particularly cross, so it naturally raised her concern and had to ask about what happened—it shook her to her core. Wasn’t her earlier speech enough to reason with Dan and prevent something _specifically_ like this to happen? 

“Phil, sweetie.” Louise held his arms.

Phil’s eyes still looked betrayed as they meet her own.

“Listen, okay.” She pauses, biting her lip. “It’s my fault they ended up there.”

The pained look on Phil’s face turned into an exhausted one, “Please stop covering for him, Louise.”

“I’m not! He’s covering for me!”

“Really?” Phil says flatly.

She sighs, then makes sure her voice is soft when she continues, “I cheated on Liam one time and Dan only helped me hide the evidence.” She was racking her brain, struggling to make it seem more believable.

Phil fell into silence so Louise decides to continue talking.

“I’m sorry I didn’t think it through, now it ended up causing a huge misunderstanding between the two of you.” Louise tries her best to look as regretful and apologetic as possible. 

From the distance, Dan had just exited the building and was looking around the area. His brows shot up when he catches Phil and Louise having a conversation on one corner of the building then he quickly runs toward them both.

Phil hears Dan calling his name from behind. Then as the latter arrives, confusion washes over his face. “Wait, what’s going on? What are you talking about?” Dan says frantically, in the middle of panting.

Louise immediately responds, “Dan! I confessed. It’s okay, you don’t have to lie for me anymore.” She gives him a look.

Dan returns the look, _what the hell are you doing_?!

“It’s about time I come clean to Liam as well.” She sighs, “I was just really ashamed of what I did, okay. Do you hate me?” Louise looks up at Phil.

Phil shakes his head and looks at her sympathetically, “Of course not!” He hugs Louise, “What’s important is that you won’t ever do that again. I believe in you.”

Dan couldn’t believe his ears. Louise then gives him a thumbs up while still in Phil’s arms, he was about to react further but Phil turns to him so Dan quickly flattens his expression.

Then to Dan’s surprise, Phil goes to hug him this time, “I’m so sorry for not trusting you, love. I should not have shouted at you. That just really scared me.”

No words could even begin to surface. This day is beyond Dan. 

It wasn’t like he wants Phil out of his life, it’s quite the opposite actually. Dan wanted to explain that and so much more, but for now he settles with sighing and burying his face on Phil’s neck—because the way Phil holds him makes him feel like everything would be okay. 

And because Dan desperately just wants it to be.


	12. lmao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big news. dan gets drunk.

It was later than usual when Phil came home that night.

Although it had been days since their vehement misunderstanding, Phil never exactly stopped thinking about it. 

They both have returned to their normal cheerful selves though, and it’s undoubtedly great seeing Dan relaxed and at ease more than ever—Phil absolutely can’t deny that. He smiles fondly with those thoughts in his mind as he enters their apartment.

The place was naturally dark. Dan is likely asleep already and everything else was quiet except for Phil’s slow but heavy footsteps as he made his way to the kitchen to have a cheeky snack before going to bed (the temptation is too hard to resist).

Still, Phil continues to ponder. _Why the hell would Dan make up such a bizarre story_? 

He wasn’t mad—anymore—it’s just _strange_. It has been in his mind since, and maybe the reason why it kept haunting him is because he hasn’t had any explicit closure with it.

Phil takes a spoonful of cereal in his mouth, _would he lie about something like that?_

Or maybe he wasn’t. 

Maybe he was just incredibly stressed, especially since his exam results are still not out yet and Phil was simply pushing Dan to his limit that day; maybe Phil is just overthinking.

Phil sighs, standing up to start preparing for bed. As his mind wanders, his foot bumps the table leg, making him stumble a bit and lose his balance. He quickly tries to walk upright but his wobbling made the spoon fall over. The sharp tinkling noise echoes in the silent hour.

After pausing and waiting for the noise to stop, Phil slowly continued to finish keeping his mess and just concentrated on making less noise, careful not to knock more things over.

As he was about to finally head to bed, he hears footsteps toward him. It was then followed by a meek and croaky call from Dan. 

“Phil?” Dan yawns then scrubs his eyes.

Seeing Dan like that with his messy bed head, while in an oversized hoodie already made Phil feel cosy. He doesn’t know how Dan could look so small and fragile, just standing there with his eyes slightly squinting at Phil.

A smile subconsciously draws on Phil’s face, “Hey Dan.” He was looking incredibly huggable so Phil went and did, because he knows he can and because it's a _must_. 

He smells… warm—if that even is a scent, Dan smells like _home_.

“Sorry I woke you up.” Phil says, still smiling at Dan.

Dan smiles back sleepily, “I’m pretty much used to you not being able to go to the kitchen without banging a table or dropping a loud metal object on the wooden floor.”

Phil scrunches his face, “ _Bang_ a table?” He teases.

“Shut up,” Dan shoves Phil weakly so it was basically just flailing his arm towards Phil. “Are you gonna join me in bed yet?”

Phil continues to give him the same look.

Rolling his eyes, Dan scoffs. “Not like _that_. I know you’re not up for it anymore, old man.”

“I was just joking but I’m a bit tempted to prove you wrong now.” Phil chuckles, “Also you’re wrapped up in a hoodie, oddly enough.” He observes, since Dan usually doesn’t sleep in any clothing.

“Oh what, are you disappointed?” Dan smirks but then he leans forward and rests his head on Phil’s chest, “It’s really cold.”

Fondness swells over Phil especially noticing it’s a hoodie he often wears. It’s one of the few that stand out in the wardrobe, particularly because of its vibrant green colour.

“ _I’m so sleepy._ ” Dan whines, “I would ask you to carry me like I’m five again, but I know I’m too heavy.” He mumbles absentmindedly though Phil was close enough to make out the words.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Phil, no—”

* * *

It was closing hours for the diner. Dan and Louise were alone in the kitchen as the rest of the few remaining staff—including Phil, were too busy making final clean-ups outside.

“You two are perfect for each other! Alright, so _I know_ your relationship’s a tad unconventional, but whose isn’t?” Louise reasons.

It was only right now when they both finally managed to discuss Louise’s improvisation into Dan’s previous slip-up with Phil.

Dan sighs in defeat, “Have you told Liam you _cheated_ then?” He raises his eyebrows. As much as he'd hate to admit it, he owes Louise. Dan had really almost lost Phil then—and only for something so ludicrous as well.

“No.” Louise huffs, “Lie or not, Liam’s humongous ego will really not like being cheated on.” She continues finalizing all the logbook pages for the diner and stacking them for this week’s pile.

His encounter with Martha suddenly crosses his mind, it just occurred to Dan how he hasn’t talked about it yet. He figured, now might be a suitable time to bring it up to at least lessen the things that keep him up at night. 

As Dan was still trying to word his thoughts, Phil then barges in with Dan’s phone in his hand, looking like he was in a frenzy.

Their eyes immediately widened to stare intently at Phil's abrupt entrance in their discreet discussion, and whom evidently had an air of absolute cluelessness and disregard for his intrusion.

“Dan! Love! You passed!” He says excitedly with a big smile on his face.

It took a moment for Dan to understand what Phil was on about, then his jaw drops.

“You’re gonna be a nurse!” Phil exclaims, announcing it for everyone.

Dan’s face transforms into a mixture of surprise and delight as he places his hands over his mouth, “Oh my fucking god!” He says, breathless.

Louise squeals beside Dan, shaking him, unable to control her excitement as well.

They did a small celebratory toast for Dan with the kitchen staff, before Dan and Phil headed back home with Dan promising them to arrange another proper blowout celebration tomorrow.

Dan had a skip to his steps and he would ramble on about anything they pass by on their way home. He was filled with so much pumped-up energy and it stretched on even until they were already at home.

“This literally feels so surreal.” Dan collapses on the couch.

Phil sits on the space next to Dan’s head, “You deserve it so much, Dan. I’m so proud of you.” 

Dan wiggles up and lays his head on Phil’s lap, gazing up at him. He bites his lips trying to suppress a huge grin.

Looking down and staring back at Dan’s contagious excitement in the indoor lighting, made Phil properly notice the very apparent flush in his cheeks. “Are you… drunk?”

The redness of Dan’s cheeks deepened and he purses his lips, “A little bit.” He giggles, “I’m allowed to drink! I deserve this, right? You said so yourself.”

 _This explains the never-ending high since they made their way back_ , Phil thinks as he shakes his head and rolls his eyes fondly. “You do. I wasn’t gonna tell you off.” His fingers play with Dan’s curls.

“This is all thanks to you, actually.” Dan pokes a finger at Phil suddenly. “If it weren’t for you being _such_ a great husband, I wouldn’t have made it. So thank you, Mr. Philip.”

Phil raises his eyebrows, “I don’t think you’re only a ‘little bit drunk’. You’re being too sentimental.” He pokes the tip of Dan’s nose in retaliation.

After Dan’s little giggle, he continues to make his point. “I heard you asked Louise about my type of breakfast one time, you know.”

“What?” Phil chuckles, wondering how that was relevant right now.

“ _Listen_ ,” Dan says in a very sluggish way, “You don’t always say it but like, I know you do very subtle sentimental shit too and that’s just so fucking sweet.” Phil has been uncontrollably grinning at Dan the entire time listening to him speak. “Hell, you even took all my shifts without me asking you to!”

Dan on the other hand, was getting too passionate. He was staring out into space rather than at Phil, “I don’t deserve that.” He then says after a pause.

“Don’t say that.” Phil says almost immediately.

“But I don’t.” Dan says quietly, his round eyes glistening. “I don’t deserve you, Phil.”

“ _Dan_ ,” Phil cups his cheek which made Dan’s eyes meet his own. It breaks his heart hearing Dan talk like he’s not worth it. “You’re right, I don’t talk about it… but that’s because I don’t understand it.” He felt like a massive dam, and the water was overflowing before he knew it. 

“I don’t know why, but everything feels strangely new to me.” Phil thinks about all the many strong emotions he’s felt for Dan, how there’s just so much trust and affection Phil has for him, and that everything else he’s been feeling lately is filled with so much sincerity—including right now. 

“It’s a lot.” Phil says, forgetting he wasn’t actually saying what went on in his head. “I didn’t know where all of these are coming from. You make me discover myself, Dan. Like, the _real_ me—if that makes sense.” 

It was Phil’s turn for his eyes to stare at anything but Dan’s. “I never knew I was a jealous person, for one thing—”

“I like it.” Dan cuts him, sitting up to face Phil properly. He had a reassuring smile on his face as he reaches out and laces his fingers with Phil’s.

Phil smiles back, some of his nerves being relieved. “When I think about how lost I am with myself, it scares me even more when I imagine what it would be like without you. It must be so much worse, you know.” 

Phil shakes his head, “I’m not even sure if I’m making sense.” Then he feels Dan’s thumb rub his knuckles soothingly.

“Nah, that was the most profound speech I’ve ever heard in my life.” Dan says with half-lidded eyes, gazing at Phil the entire time. Phil pauses for a while, wondering if there was any hint of sarcasm to it but then Dan leans forward and kisses his cheek. “It’s nice to mean something to someone.” He muses.

From their intertwined hands, Phil’s eyes trail back up to finally meet Dan’s. “Well, you mean _the world_ , so don’t you ever talk like you’re not worth anything.”

Dan’s eyes water.

“All I can do is just make you breakfast and take you out on expensive dates.” Phil laughs slightly despite himself.

“Fuck,” Tears fell as Dan lets out a little chuckle. “I really don’t deserve you.” Before he could even sniff, Phil was quick to wipe the tears with his thumb.

Phil rolls his eyes albeit his warm smile. He then pecks Dan on the lips to get his point across differently. “I know,” he sighs, “You deserve better.” 

“Don’t say that.” Dan says, wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck and practically lays on top of him. They both giggle at each other before leaning in for a proper kiss this time, Phil placing his arms around Dan’s waist.

Dan still tasted faintly like alcohol and since it had been a while for Phil, it’s slightly like he’s slowly getting drunk just from Dan’s lips. 

* ~~may or may not have fucked here~~ *

That night, Phil continues to contemplate the life he has with Dan. It wasn’t perfect, by all means. Though for Phil, it’s already good enough to be.

* * *

It was a picnic kind of setting. The few close people like Louise, Liam and Darcy with some of the kitchen staff joining in celebration with Dan. 

They were having a relaxing and pleasant afternoon, enjoying the small company as well as the variety of food Phil helped prepare. Dan was in no way an outdoor person by all means, though he figured this kind of environment would be copacetic as it allowed this many people to have a casual and leisurely time without the feeling of being confined under a roof.

“Hey Liam.” Phil gives him a gentle pat.

“Hey,” Liam sounds more confused about Phil’s concerned tone.

“You doing okay?”

“ _Oh_ , I-yeah. I’ve been doing better.” Liam nods and feigns remorse, “We’ve talked about it. It really upset me but she made me understand how regretful she was, so…”—he pauses, “It was hard but I trust her, you must know how that feels, yeah?”

Phil has a sympathetic look, “Yeah.” he says softly.

“Just—you know, whatever you do, don’t take Dan for granted cause…” Liam sighs.

“Of course. It’s really great that you listened to her, Liam. Your vulnerability and honesty really touches me.”

Liam nudges Phil with his elbow, giving him an appreciative smile. Then they both go for a short embrace. Louise passes by behind Phil and Liam gives her a look. Louise rolls her eyes and waves a hand dismissively in response.

A little while later Dan was giving a small ‘thank you’ speech for everyone who came, “It has been a really tough time for me these past few months and well, I’m just glad they paid off.” Dan says.

“Nurse Dan!” Louise applauds and everyone follows.

Dan beams, “Shout-out to Louise of course, for being awesome since ever.” He gestures to her, “Also the cupcakes are…” Dan closes his eyes and dramatically blows a chef’s kiss.

Louise places a hand on her chest, looking up at him softly as the people around cheered for her as well.

“We can all agree how everything we have today is absolutely divine. They are prepared by the lovely Louise—with special assistance from my husband, Phil.” Dan says. “Who deserves special thanks as well, as he truly is amazing.”

There were soft coos from the small audience and Phil felt like he melted out of fondness.

“He cooked, he cleaned, he worked two jobs, he kept me laughing…”

People around Phil were nudging him and ruffling his hair as he chuckled.

“I already—probably told you everything last night but still,” Dan pauses, looking directly into Phil’s eyes and smiles. “Thank you, love. You changed my life.”

Cheers were heard, some teasing about the _last night_ part.

Then as Dan was about to sit back down, Phil suddenly got to his feet and positioned himself right next to the brunette, “Wait, I wanna say something too.”—he wraps an arm around Dan. “I know I told you everything last night too…” Phil said with a smirk.

The small crowd reacted again and Dan rolled his eyes playfully. “But also,” Phil continues, “I don’t remember the first time I did this, and well… that just doesn’t feel right.”

“So, Dan...” Phil held both of his hands and started going down on one knee.

Dan’s eyes widened and everything else seemed muffled to the sound of his heart pounding.

“Will you marry me again?” Despite Phil’s smile, his eyebrows were furrowed in nervousness.

Everyone was silent, overcome with surprise and anticipation for Dan’s response.

Louise’s jaw drops. _Holy crap. Has this officially gone too far?_

  
  



	13. owo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> downhill

Séan hears his name being called in the large and empty hallway. He was on his way to Phil’s old bedroom, which is currently being occupied by the father of the aformentioned.

He turns to the owner of the voice and sees how the person was sweating like they’ve seen a ghost.

“I think I just saw a ghost.” The pageboy says under their breath.

 _Oh…kay._ Séan raises his eyebrows; he continues to give the pageboy a disbelieving look.

“I was on my way here and Katie, at reception, told me she thought she saw someone—”

“I’m sorry, what is going on?” Séan interrupts as he was not quite certain where this conversation is heading.

“It’s Mr. Lester!” The person blurts.

He glances at the door he was on his way to. “I’m afraid you’re not making sense?” Séan says more assertively.

A phone was hastily held up to Séan’s face, there was a photo of a man on the screen—lo and behold, it was undoubtedly Phil Lester; he was laughing with a group of men on a picnic mat.

Colour drains from Séan’s face as well, “I need to report this immediately. May I borrow your phone?”

* * *

“Yes!”

The words echo in Phil’s head as he releases a breath he’d been holding. He was half expecting Dan to reject him and think his idea to have a redo of their entire wedding was stupid yet he’s met with a response just as excited as he was.

His whole face brightened up as he got on his feet. Dan’s hands land on the sides of his face as they kiss.

Everyone's cheers echoed and a toast was made for them.

The celebration was overall heartwarming and Dan was incredibly thankful for every part of it. At one point he thought he would’ve eventually gotten exhausted by the continuous energetic scene, but as it turns out his introversion got overruled by the excitement from the supportive people that surrounded him.

Until the day came to an end and it was finally time to head home. It was perfect; both Dan and Phil were looking forward to a peaceful and intimate close to the day alone with each other, in quiet blissful merriment of their own—just like how they preferred with most things.

In a cab as they approach their apartment building, Phil was leaning his head on Dan’s shoulder—something he often does since the slight gap in their height allows him to easily slot his head in this very comfortable position, while Dan looks out the window.

He then notices a familiar-looking parked vehicle as they slow to a stop nearby. Although, the familiarity fills him with apprehension; his memory telling him it wasn’t a good sign.

They get out of the cab and before Dan could react when it registered how and where he recognized the car, he sees Phil waving at some people just on the other side of the entrance to their apartment.

As Dan traces Phil’s line of sight, his stomach turns and his heart stops after realizing who the people Phil was waving at.

His family.

Phil’s blood relatives.

Martha was there with a flinty, almost patronizing expression. Next to her was presumably their father, a man in his late senior years who also had a similar serious face but there was something else in his look Dan couldn’t read—disappointment? Concern? Relief?

With their locked hands, Dan was pulled by Phil on his way to greet them.

_Fuck._

Dan wished time could stop or at least slow down so he could properly assess everything right now. It was all happening too fast. His surprise, the panic and confusion as to why Phil isn’t realising how strange and wrong this all is, as he just continues to take Dan’s hand toward his family and the life Dan stole from him.

“Father! Martha! It’s so nice to see you!” Phil says, opening his arms to hug them both as he lets go of Dan’s hand.

The tension was thick and heavy as Dan just stood in front of the two other Lesters— away from Phil’s attention. He stares intently at the ground, avoiding their faces in fear and embarrassment. 

Completely oblivious to the graveness of the situation, Phil was already entering the building, inviting all three of them to do the same. “You should’ve told me you were visiting! We could’ve prepared the flat and maybe some food.”

He turns his back to fully head inside and left Dan with his father and his sister for five long excruciating seconds before slowly stepping outside again, but with a grim expression on his face this time.

Phil furrows his eyebrows, “This isn’t a visit, is it?”

Silence.

“I remember.” Phil huffs as he ran his hands through his hair. “Everything makes sense now. I’m Philip Michael Lester!” He looks up and his eyes dart around the three of them.

To everyone’s surprise, Phil quickly bounds toward Dan, and holds both of his hands excitedly, “Dan! I’m cured! Remember the doctor said anything from my past could trigger my memories? It did!” He says excitedly. “Ask me anything, my childhood, my family, my money—oh god, _money_ . I have loads of it, I’m rich! We don’t have to work—oh, _Dan!_ ” Phil squeezes him into a tight hug. “This is the happiest day of my life!”

Just as the excitement in his laugh rose, it slowly fades as his face transforms into one of realisation this time, “Wait.” He pauses and stares at their hands, “We aren’t…? I—I’m not your…” He couldn’t even bring himself to finish that sentence as he lets go and looks up at Dan’s eyes.

Dan continues to stare at anything but Phil’s eyes that bore onto his own. He couldn’t dare.

“You… _lied_ to me. How could you?” Phil says in almost a whisper.

There was so much hurt and betrayal in just Phil’s voice alone that it already pains Dan a lot to even begin to imagine how Phil looked like right now.

“All this time… why would you make me think— Why would you _do_ that to me?” Phil backs away from him.

Dan tries opening his mouth to say anything but nothing comes out. He swallows the lump in his throat to hold back his tears.

Phil sighs, “Oh, I know why. You’re that awful carpet cleaner who hates me. You made me believe… _oh god_ .” He laughs bitterly. “You tricked me. You _used_ me.”

“Phil, I’m sorry…” Dan doesn’t even know where to begin.

“Sorry?! Why? _Because I found out?!_ ” Phil spat.

“ _No!_ Phil listen to me, I never wanted to—” Dan started to reach out to Phil.

“Never wanted what, Dan? Me?! Was this all just some big cruel joke?”

“Phil, please! That’s not true!” Dan didn’t care how desperate he sounded, pleading for Phil in front of his family. When he remembers something and suddenly calls, “Martha, I don’t understand.”

Both Phil and his father whip their heads at her.

Martha simply quirks an eyebrow, looking affronted, if anything. “I’m afraid I don’t either?”

“ _What is this?_ ” Mr. Lester demands, sneering. “Martha, you know this man?”

“That’s _absurd_ , of course not! In no way would I deliberately engage in any sort of interaction with this filthy gold-digging fraud.”

“Precisely! This was extremely unjustifiable…” Mr. Lester immediately chimes in.

Whatever insults Mr. Lester shot at him, including Martha’s betrayal, stung; though none of it compared to what he felt after finally looking up at Phil’s face.

“I’ll get my things.” Phil says in a low voice as he walks inside the building.

Seeing Phil that sad and hurt, makes Dan want to punch himself in the face. Knowing he’s the reason, makes him want it to be strong enough to break his skull and send him into a fucking coma.

“—you will hear from our lawyer.” Mr. Lester finishes.

Nothing from what the former said, had piqued Dan’s attention as he remains wallowing in his own shame. The weight of the entire nasty scheme has suddenly come crashing down on him and there was a constant pulling in his gut.

Phil emerged from the building sooner than expected. He had the same glum expression as he stares at nothing, directly proceeding to the vehicle. “Nothing inside is mine.” he says coldly.

Dan’s knees feel weak, his chest heavy and his eyes tearing up. He just stays standing there, waiting for Phil and his _real_ family to head to the vehicle and leave him so he could finally lash out after keeping it all in.

He notices a pair of heels briefly stop in front of him. Dan looks up to see Martha. _What else could she possibly want from me after pretending to use me to get rid of Phil_? She already did enough after also embarrassing him further not claiming to know him; his fists clenched at that thought.

She simply eyes him from head to toe and walks past him to the expensive car.

The car’s engine hurtles forward, leaving Dan alone with a trail of dust and smoke.

Just like that _. Phil is gone._

Tears finally burst.

* * *

That evening, the Lester’s were having a slightly more special family dinner in celebration of the prodigal son’s return. Though Phil plays with a piece of kidney bean on his plate with his fork, his mind elsewhere.

“Everyone will be more than delighted to see you after hearing the splendid news. We have to make sure your hotel is doing well first before we make rash decisions like this spontaneous trip back.” Their father announces at the table.

Martha stops in realisation of her father’s statement, “I’m sorry but, what do you mean _‘make sure’_?” It almost sounded like she wasn’t there the entire time managing the hotel and keeping it on track to make up for everything Phil should have done even before disappearing.

“Yes, we have to. You don’t have to look after it anymore.” Mr. Lester stops in thought, “Or maybe you still do. Now that Phil _is_ back, he’s also back as my heir.”

The mere mention of the last word made Martha choke on the wine she was sipping. She shuts her eyes in time to compose herself.

Phil pipes up. “I do have a lot of ideas for changes…”, his voice trailed off, noticing Martha and Mr. Lester’s eyes immediately snap at him; Martha shooting daggers into her glare and his father’s were wide in utter astonishment.

He waited for his father to raise an eyebrow questioningly, urging him to continue. “Just a few. Like for the cement mixture, I want to lessen the allocated grams each sack.”

Martha frowned even more. “This is absolutely ridiculous! You were never even aware of our construction branch! Do you have any idea what kind of repercussions and adjustments we will face—?!”

“Martha…” Mr. Lester interrupts in a consoling tone, instantly silencing Martha. “Give him some time.”

Martha swallowed, possibly with it the many retorts she wanted to yell out to both Phil and their father. She sighs, “Lesser material?” Martha narrowed her eyes at Phil as if challenging him.

“Just so that the cement powder will be easier to carry…” Phil pressed on but treaded lightly especially with his tone, incredibly wary to what little patience Martha had left.

Martha scoffed and leaned back on her seat, “That is the least of our concerns!” She laughed derisively. “You talk as if you understand what you’re saying.”

“It matters to the people carrying it, Martha.” Phil says indignantly. He couldn’t help but implement this, knowing people everywhere continue to struggle with the unbalanced weight—he had his first-hand experience to thank for.

Martha shakes her head, patronizing. “This is absurd!” 

“Give him time, Martha.” Mr. Lester repeated. “This young cub will grow into a lion!” He glanced at Phil fondly, not even noticing Phil’s distracted gaze.

Just as Martha scowled, about to point out the extremely poor and inappropriate usage of the metaphor when their father’s phone rang. The latter frowns, “Well, speaking of business, excuse me.” He gets up and exits the room without another word.

Phil was still looking out of the window, distracted and his attention elsewhere. Once he found the satisfaction in simply voicing out his only concern about the company, his mind ultimately decided not to be interested anymore.

“I have lost my appetite.” Martha says coldly before storming off as well. On her way out, she lightly crashes against Séan who was on his way to the dining table.

“My apologies, Miss.” Séan quickly says while struggling to balance the glass pitcher on his hands so it won’t spill on either of them. Martha ignores him and continues her tracks.

The noise finally brought Phil’s focus back to the salad he hadn’t been eating. It appeared to be tossed around more but it had the same amount of food since he sat down.

Just then, Séan appears in his view and observing Phil’s plate himself, Séan says, “Sir, if you’d prefer something else, there’s pasta in the kitchen.” He pours more water in Phil’s glass.

Phil watches the glass get full, and recalls the first time he attempted to cook. How he had no idea what or how to do anything yet still he managed to impress Dan with a serving of his pasta.

_Wait._

No, Phil shouldn’t be thinking about _him_.

Then Phil notices Séan pour wine in another glass for him this time. He raises his hand, stopping the latter, “I don’t drink.”

Séan freezes and gives him a strange look.

Phil realises and looks up, “Wait, I _do_ drink! Fill it up, Séan!”

“Ah, yes. That was definitely my recollection, sir.” Séan smiles curtly before heading out of the dining area.

In that moment of solitary, Phil gets confronted by how lost he is of his identity all over again, now even more than ever. Turns out the entire time he thought he was figuring himself out, was all a lie.

He gets up and wanders to the kitchen, considering whether to actually get some pasta for himself—mostly just to occupy himself as he drowns in his thoughts. Instead, he directly goes to fix himself more wine first.

At first, no one in the small boat noticed his wandering but then Séan eventually enters after hearing some clatter and quickly approaches Phil, “Sir, you could’ve called me, I’d have gotten that for you.”

“You know it’s funny…” Phil says, still distracted. “This yacht has been mine for ten years, though I don’t think I’ve ever set foot in here.”

“That’s because you have people to take care of everything for you.” Séan replies simply.

Phil finally grabs a serving of pasta. “You know, when I was working construction, I _hated_ rich assholes like me.” He pauses, flashing Séan a knowing smile. “Do you hate me, Séan? You can be honest.” 

Séan half-chuckles, “Well, if I may remind you sir, the reason I got this job is because the last steward was honest.”

Phil raises his eyebrows, amused. Then he sighs, “Can I confess something?”

Séan nods.

“I’m not exactly sure where I fit in anymore. Does that sound crazy?”

“Well, most of us only know the world we’re born into. You—sir, have had the privilege of seeing life in an entirely different perspective.

“Yeah, I guess I did…” Phil smiled thoughtfully.

“And it sucked, didn’t it?” Séan gives him an expectant look.

Phil could only stare back.

_Did it?_


	14. hmm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phil finds out. dan gets a pep talk

_Disgusting._

The word ran through Dan’s head over and over. Sniffs and sighs echoed Dan’s room that seemed larger and emptier now.

He felt absolutely _disgusting_.

It would’ve been slightly less painful if it was only him alone that suffered right now, but he knew it hurt Phil the most.

_He_ hurt Phil the most.

Dan hasn’t moved from the spot on the floor since he arrived and collapsed then. The look on Phil’s face never left his mind as the guilt slowly ate him alive.

Louise had called… about twenty times now. At least it _was_ twenty the last time Dan caught sight of his phone screen. Or was it twenty _texts_?

Dan’s eyes continued to roam around the place. All the clothes felt too many, the bed looked wider and the flat was eerily silent and lonely—apart from the insistent vibrating from his phone every so often.

His mind went back to the still ringing phone. Dan certainly had no intentions of coming off as uppish to the people only genuinely reaching out, it’s more of a guilty undeserving feeling of their consolation.

Then as if his hand is moving on its own, Dan picks up his phone as the incoming call got sent to voicemail.

The screen displays a game on pause.

A laugh elicits despite the tears slowly pouring once more.

Only Phil plays games on his phone. And judging from this, he was playing in the cab on their way to the flat. Dan remembers vividly like it was just minutes ago when everything was perfect just briefly before going to shit—though it had already been a night ago.

Normally he would scold Phil for leaving the game on and draining the phone’s battery, then Phil would rebut how it’s Dan’s fault for leaving his phone unlocked everywhere… 

Dan can feel how pathetic he was; he can only keep thinking about how much he fucked up, how awful Phil must’ve felt and how selfish he is because he just honestly wants it all to go back to the way it was before Phil found out.

He decides to move to the bed to take a proper nap. _Sleeping always helps._ Albeit temporary, he’s desperate for any form of relief from the misery. Despite being fully aware of how escapism is and never was a direct solution, right now life feels like it has desaturated and really, Dan doesn’t feel like there’s anything left in him that’s willing to keep fighting.

As he lies down, he sees a pile of clothes at the foot of the bed.

There was a bunch of black clothing and a single coloured one.

A green hoodie.

_Phil’s favourite hoodie_. Naturally, as it’s the only vibrant piece of clothing Dan owns.

How could Phil say he owns _nothing_ in this place? Especially when everywhere Dan looks, there’s Phil.

* * *

_That’s crazy… Right?_

Phil has been pacing in his spacious bedroom. (He’s not sure if he remembered it to be _this_ big? Or is it that he just got so used to having a smaller room, which he also shared—much less a bed.)

Despite already battling with a plethora of unsolved perplexities he had yet to decipher about his identity _once again_ , Phil found himself unable to easily bypass the dodgy interaction Dan had with Martha yesterday.

He’s now strongly considering simply ripping off the plaster, and confronting Martha. Though, his brain continued debating which to favor: his long-time pursuit for truth or tact.

Phil wonders what it meant, how Dan had addressed a question towards Martha _specifically_ . Plus, he said ‘he didn’t understand’ something. Like he’s supposed to understand _something_ ? Everything _until something?_

_Does that mean they had talked?_

Phil stops his pacing.

_Were they involved? Did Dan and Martha know each other? Had everything he went through not been an accident?_

Questions continued piling up, fully supporting the conclusion he’s jumping into. His mind is racing with the scenario he’s built and his conviction grows stronger the more he digs into it, like gradually placing puzzle pieces in their perfect slot.

All the speculating is making him feel restless and uneasy, though. Phil decides to leave his room on his way to an open area, as opposed to a confined one where he was beginning to feel suffocated.

He suddenly hears someone call to him. Phil immediately whips his head to the direction of the source—it was _Martha_.

There was a momentary feeling of disorientation as he thought about what Martha could possibly need from him. Phil stares curiously as Martha approaches.

But then it was perfect. Now he could finally ask her about everything he’s been so bothered about, like what actually happened to him and as well as her connection with Dan, right?

…because asking your sister if she was involved with your kidnapper is easy, right?

Phil shudders at the thought of calling Dan a _kidnapper_ . He’s not ready for that conversation yet. He definitely still has a lot to unpack. _Baby steps_ , he reassures himself.

“We need to talk.” Martha says—to Phil’s surprise. She leads them to what Phil figured is a private place to have a conversation, possibly the direction of her room.

As they proceeded in silence, it slowly occurred to Phil how they’ve never had a “talk” like this, at all. Or at least as far as he could remember, but _this_ —Martha initiating to talk over something serious—is highly unusual.

_Is this supposed to be a good thing?_ Perhaps an attempt to bond or something, since he’d been gone for a long time?

As they enter the room and the door closes behind them, she sighs almost exasperatedly.

_So maybe not because she misses me—honestly, that would be a lot more surprising._

“Let’s be real, Phil. You don’t really think you’re ready to inherit the company, do you?” Her tone was gentle but derisive.

Phil was taken aback. _This is about the_ **_company_ **?

Even though he feels like he should react about that more, he desperately needed to get this out of his chest. And since it _was_ an open confrontation initiated by Martha… 

“Do you and Dan know each other?” Phil blurts.

It was clear how Martha did not expect a response like that—much less a question—with the way her eyes widened. Martha instantly fell silent. She furrowed her eyebrows before replying. “What the hell are you on about?” Her voice was a bit too high—almost seems defensive, in Phil’s opinion.

“I had to ask. I mean, he did just suddenly turn to you in the middle of everything happening yesterday.” Phil felt sheepish the more he voiced these concerns out loud.

“Well…” Martha paused. “That’s because… he wanted me to defend him as he was the person behind all of this chaos!” her voice raising octaves as she spoke.

Phil had to run that sentence through his head more than once before concluding that _none of that made sense_. It’s getting even stranger hearing Martha like this as well: apprehensive and fidgety. Though, Phil was more piqued with the last part and he intended on unwrapping that. “But why would he…”

“Money?! That gormless sod was _obviously_ poor!”

Phil reluctantly set aside the irk in his chest upon hearing her insult Dan’s struggling financial situation in front of him. “If he wanted money, he could’ve easily gotten it from me since the first day. He didn’t need to keep fooling me for months…” He mutters more to himself than at Martha.

Martha tuts impatiently, and crosses her arms. “You’re digging into this too much…”

Now _that_ struck a chord in Phil’s chest. How would it be his fault for _digging into it too much?_ He's been exposed to nothing but lies so far, he couldn’t help but be skeptical all the time now. Screw him for being traumatized, if that’s the case.

“—you’ve clearly been blinded by your attachment towards that bastard. _Get over it, Phil!_ HE LIED TO YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING.”

It really shouldn’t, but hearing that out loud took another shot at his already heavy chest. Just because he got to yell at Dan’s face yesterday, doesn’t mean he’d gotten over the whole debacle. Phil felt like every part that’s holding him together is falling apart one by one— _again_.

“But he found me in hospital...” He weakly reasoned.

“HE HATED YOU. THAT TWIT OBVIOUSLY INTENDED TO HIT YOU IN THE HEAD SO YOU END UP WITH NO MEMORIES THERE!” Martha was looking and sounding more and more frantic, almost mad at this point. It’s like she was also losing what held her together as well, but whilst Phil was on the low, she was on the high.

There was a pause.

“…how did you know I was hit in the head?” Phil’s entire demeanor changed as he looked up at her. His once scared and confused eyes, now shooting a sharp gaze. 

Martha lets out a nervous chuckle, her eyes intent on staring at anything but Phil’s. “The hospital…!” 

“You visited, eh?” Phil now had an impassive expression, though his tone was challenging.

For once, Phil found Martha to be at a loss for words.

* * *

The apartment is _full of Phil_ . So Dan decided, if moving on was the goal, he _had_ to get out.

He could’ve gone to a café, where he usually spends his free time anyways. Although of course, that will only be counterproductive as the nearest one was where they _did_ have their first date.

Which explains why he’s currently in a pub—in broad daylight.

It wasn’t like pubs are only allowed to be in at night, though it’s quite honestly weird not to otherwise.

Dan simply needed a place to spend his time _not_ thinking about Phil anymore. Being alone in a pub at this hour is probably the last thing he’d worry about, since most people here are sad old men with no other life than drinking or those that spent the whole night getting wasted. He belonged either way, so surely no one would bother him there.

That was until he hears a glass—right next to him—get toppled, the contents spilling on the table, some of it slowly pouring on his lap.

“Oh, I’m so sorry mate!” A voice with thick northern accent says. The man seated next to Dan quickly turns and dabs the small puddle with some tissues.

“No worries.” Dan immediately helps with drying himself and the table from the spilled drink.

“So sorry for my friend, Chris over here. He doesn’t know how to hold things.” said another man this time. He has longer curls than Dan but had a similar southern accent. This man was a chair away and had a playful smirk.

“Pretty sure it’s called butterfingers, Peej. And I’m not really alone with this condition, aren’t I?” The man with the northern accent—who apparently was called Chris, retorts.

He then turns to Dan with an extended hand and a sheepish grin. “Nice to meet you?”

Dan plastered a polite smile on his face and shook on it.

“Peej” on the other hand, approached them and stopped in front of the other seat next to Dan. “Mind if we join you? Although, we wouldn’t want to impose. If you wanted to be alone, we’ll just bugger off.” He quickly added.

“Oh, no. Please.” He gestured to the seat invitingly. After all, this would be a great distraction. Contrary to his initial thoughts about the typical people in the pub, these two really didn’t strike him as sad or wasted or old men. In fact, these lads seemed quite nice. It’s _definitely_ not because Dan’s first impression of them reminded him of his own banter with Phil.

As the two men reintroduced their names, Dan responded with his own. He also learns they are frequent goers there with the same reason as Dan’s now—the few people.

“Yeah and it’s partly why we know when there’s a fresh face in ‘ere.” Chris says.

It was Dan’s turn to smile sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about it.” PJ reassures. “I would also want to head here if I needed a place to run away—but not exactly _away_ , you know?”

 _Yes_. That’s exactly how he felt.

“But also sometimes, we just get some juicy gossip from the bartenders. Like that one time, there was some rich bloke who showed up one night, got incredibly wasted and ended up in hospital the next day.” Chris continues his point. “I heard he was beaten up, but that doesn’t really happen here. It’s quite odd.” He adds.

“Yeah, we weren’t there at the time. Unfortunately, the person who hired us, wanted us to start building his pool as soon as possible.” PJ chimed.

Chris scoffs, “Rich people.” PJ clinked his glass with the former’s, in agreement.

Despite also sharing the same fuel for anger, Dan had to confirm. “Wait so, you guys work at construction?” He recalls Phil telling him about working on a pool as well.

They briefly glance at each other before Chris responds with, “Yeah. D’you know anyone there or something?”

Before Dan knows it, he’s talking about Phil again.

“OH, so you’re _Phil’s_ Dan?” PJ asks. “He loved talking about how excited he is to go home. We thought it was to rest, but that bastard always said he looked forward to seeing you, like he’d been gone for months or something.”

As quickly as the rush of fondness rose, Dan’s heart sunk.

“It’s gross but sweet, I guess.” Chris teases.

Dan felt himself smile at that. He _really_ does miss Phil. It dawned on him that no matter the amount of denial he had with even just the thought of it, he can’t help his genuine feelings.

“I fucked up.” Dan finally decides to open up, he stares at his drink intently. “I fucked up real bad between us and he probably doesn’t want to see me ever again.”

Dan felt all gaze on him as he continues. “I lied to him, among the many other things I did to hurt him. I’m basically the worst person to ever walk this fucking planet and I deserve wet socks for eternity.”

 _Almost_ . He really couldn’t easily talk about his feelings. He just _had_ to add something in the end to make it less serious at least.

Dan hears a slight chuckle—or was it a scoff, which he counted as a win for his attempt. Though, PJ did not stop there.

“Mate, I don’t exactly know what happened between you two. I don’t know how bad it is, and I don’t know if it was enough to make everything you had, worth ending just for what happened.”

Dan shook his head and folded his lips.

“But if I may, are you ready to give him up?”

PJ’s words lingered in Dan’s mind as his eyes widened.

“You know, you two are honestly a pain in the ass.” Chris then says.

“ _Chris_.” PJ scolds.

Ignoring PJ, he continues, “That idiot won’t say it because he’s a coward. But come on, he’s absolutely smitten. He loves you with his whole damn heart and _you_ know it as well.” Chris says in a bored voice.

Dan finally looks up at him. _Phil loves me_ …?

“You lot are meant for each other, alright? Peej once had to rub in that jerk’s face for how lucky he was to have someone willingly choose to live through whatever bullshit he threw. You could make it through _all of that_ , why give up now?”

Needless to say, Dan was at a loss for words. 

_Phil loves me._ It’s still admittedly an unbelievable albeit indirect confession.

“I was also just saying it’s hard to believe you when you said he wouldn’t want to see you again, since he could hardly live through 7 hours not doing so.” PJ simply says, a strong contrast after Chris’ bold statement yet still holding the same weight.

PJ then places a hand on Dan’s shoulder, “Hey man, I’m pretty sure there’s still something you can do about it, right?”

Dan slowly gets up. “Yeah, you two are absolutely—” 

“Awesome? Damn right we are.” Chris grins, beside him was also a smiling PJ.

He smiles back at them briefly, “Thanks, you guys. You both really love Phil, huh.” Dan teases a bit then reaches into his pockets.

“Nah, not as much as _you_ love him, I’m sure.” PJ smirks.

Dan blushes at how bluntly it was put. He then places some cash down on the table. “It’s the least I can do.” He says and proceeds to head out of the pub.

“Tell Phil he still owes us, though!” Chris shouts after Dan.

Dan chuckles, glancing slightly as PJ elbows him.

_Back to the hotel, it is._


	15. okie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> martha loses it. prison boat

Everything _was_ going according to plan. Things _were_ going smoothly, despite all the mishaps and unexpected turns. 

_I managed to polish any imperfections._

Martha raises her head, looking up at her desk mirror as her own gaunt reflection stared back. 

The bags under her eyes were undeniably deeper and more apparent. Most of her hair was loose from its usual neat tie, and her makeup almost completely worn off. Just at the sight of her current —noticeably unrecognizable self, already triggered some of her uncontrollable urge to fix and _control_.

_I can get rid of mistakes._

She pulls her hair tie off, letting her hair all down. At least there wouldn’t be much hair to control; they’re loose anyway.

Martha ponders back to the last time she was calm and collected; when Phil was missing and out of her life. 

Up until the close calls of her (supposed) thoroughly meticulous plan, like the unsuccessful execution of it at the pub and the question of whether Daniel _fucking_ Howell’s sudden intervention was an asset or a liability. It all just gradually became too much for her.

Now, several voices in her head would argue how everything is over. How there is literally no salvation left for her to turn things around and proceed with _the_ _plan_.

But she always proves people wrong. Martha confirms as she runs a hand through her now messy hair.

Martha certains her father would be the last person to realise this. Right now, she’s _so close_ to already fulfilling that. She’s fully determined to make that happen. 

_Whatever it fucking takes._

Back straight and flattening the creases in her suit, she storms out of the room, locking the door behind her as the clicking of her heels echoed with every step she took.

* * *

Dan was definitely stalling on his way to the hotel. He had to go there by foot so he could take his time plucking up the courage to face Phil as well as going over the apology speech he prepared in his head the entire time.

He stops in front of the main entrance, taking one last deep breath before proceeding.

It strangely feels like his first time being here. Everything felt tense and like everyone in there _knows_ him and what he did, despite obviously neither of those being the case.

And then it just dawned on him how he has no idea _how_ to look for Phil.

He’s the _owner_ of the business for fuck’s sakes. Employees here don’t usually hold the responsibility of looking after their executives—Dan would know. Plus, if anyone _were_ to look for them, they wouldn’t be heading to the reception! With that sort of connection, it’s likely that an exchange in contacts had already been made, right?

Dan sighs. _This is stupid._

Just then, all thoughts went on hold as Dan’s feet had already taken him to the reception desk.

The lady behind the desk, smiles up at him and politely asked for the purpose of his visit.

Dan opened his mouth to speak.

_Does Phil even want to see you?_

He closes it, his eyes darting everywhere on the floor. He should just leave, there are probably other ways to look for Phil.

As the lady called Dan’s attention again—since he hasn’t given any sort of response—he also heard someone else call his name from another direction.

He whips his head at the voice in full attention. Dread rises in his gut upon realising who the source was.

“Isn’t this a surprise?” Martha steps closer, two bodyguards following suit.

There was something about her that made her look and sound different, maybe that’s why Dan couldn’t immediately recognize her voice despite it being engraved in his head. 

She looked like she didn’t know what sleep was. And her _hair_ —it’s all over the place (in Martha standards, though seriously pushing to its edge). Basically, everything about her felt like a strong contrast to when Dan saw her last time.

Martha was already in front of him. “Not a pleasant one, at that.” She adds flatly, with a tilt in her head. 

Every part of him wanted to lash out, just seeing the expression on her face again—the same look she had right after Phil walked away from him. 

“What do you want from me?” He growled.

She crosses her arms and pretends to be in thought, “More like, what do _you_ want from me… After all, you _are_ the one in my personal domain. Although of course, the answer shouldn’t be too hard to guess.” She shrugs, raising an eyebrow.

Dan bites his cheek and avoids her taunting gaze. Before he could respond however, the two bodyguards accompanying her suddenly went on either of his sides. They discreetly locked their arms around his elbows and followed Martha’s walking, forcibly dragging Dan forward with them.

“Wha— _Hey!_ ”

“I know my brother is frequent in the _casual hookups_ kind of lifestyle, but you so far have been the most stubborn whore he’s ever had. I have to admit I’m impressed, Howell.”

Enraged at the degradation, he immediately struggled in retaliation. The two men emphasized their purpose at his side, tightening their already strong grip and held him in place.

“Let go!” He said with gritted teeth.

Laughing, she glanced at him briefly. “Pathetic, truly.” They then reach a rather secluded room after a flight of stairs.

“Do you just intend to demean me in every possible chance you get? Where the hell are you taking me anyway?!” He spat.

Martha’s voice got higher and higher as she spoke. “Oh, please. Don’t make this my fault! You knew what you were getting into, the moment you decided to show up here!” she said shrilly. “Even _way_ back when you started meddling with this whole business!” Martha was practically shrieking by the end of her sentence.

The shock after hearing her sound like that for the first time, made Dan speechless. To Dan, it seemed like Martha was somehow faltering. Then he also just realised how Martha did not exactly answer his last question, most importantly.

“Because it would’ve been much simpler if it was only Phil you decided to screw with, but _no_ . Now, the entire bloody company is in jeopardy! I’m only doing what should be done—to keep a moron like _Phil_ from getting everything he shouldn’t have.”

“Getting rid of him like that, doesn’t exactly sound like what should be done!” Dan defends. He fails to notice the short absence of the two hulking men beside him until their return to force him down to a chair this time, then held him in place again. 

“Absolute fools, everyone! I’m convinced I’m the only one sensible enough and best fitted to keep this company in shape. I won’t let a filthy impoverished rat like _you_ , ruin everything.” She leans down and emphasizes her point by jabbing his chest with her finger, Dan flinches at the contact. “I just won’t allow it.” Martha finished in a low voice.

“This is fucked up.” Dan scoffed. “Complete and utter bullshit! You know how insane this sounds, right? All for the fucking company, you actually considered _murdering_ your own brother? Twice!”

She ignores him and was already turning away but Dan went on, void of all thoughts except the strong desire to piss her off even more. “You know, maybe your father _is_ right about choosing Phil over you. At least with him, the company would be handled by someone who hasn't gone absolutely mad!”

“ _Enough!_ ” He hears her shriek.

Martha stomps back and gives him a loud and painful slap on the face, instantly stunning Dan. “Your mouth runs faster than your brain! I shouldn’t expect someone like you to even fathom having the ability to comprehend highly intellectual matters as such.” She then does a vague gesture to the men.

Panic began to rise in anticipation of what may happen to Dan as he heard the men from behind approach him once again, he couldn’t even move away no matter how much he struggled to free himself from the restraints on his wrists and ankles. His eyes were forced to stare back at Martha and there was nothing else he could do to relieve the stinging in his cheek. 

“I’m almost there already. _This_ close. Do me one last favour and stay here until I decide what I should do to permanently get rid of you—as well my brother.” She smirks then fully turns away from him. 

Dan’s eyes widened. “ _No!_ What did you do to Phil?!” but before he could protest even more, a sack was shoved on his head, followed by strong punches eventually leading him unconscious.

  
  


Once he regained his consciousness, he found himself sore from scattered places on his body while still tied up in a chair. Various areas in his skin stung and Dan immediately recognized the sensation to be open, pulsating wounds. Dan groaned, trying to focus his vision, it appears to be in a different place altogether. He continues to look around, wincing slightly as soon as he felt almost every muscle protest upon moving too quickly and carelessly.

As Dan observed more of the place he’s currently in, he notices how it’s in a constant state of reverberation. Plus, there’s this feeling of swaying that—if he isn’t careful—might start making him feel nauseous. 

_It’s a boat?_

He thought more in disbelief than confusion; the latter part only just beginning to settle in his mind. Dan was still lost in his perplexion until he felt a new pair of limp hands brush against his own restrained ones behind him, immediately causing Dan to flinch at the contact.

Again—but slowly this time—he craned his neck to see who was behind him. 

Jet black hair and a mole on the pale nape of his neck. It didn’t take long for Dan to recognize the man.

 _“Phil!”_ He gasped. There was so much relief in finally seeing him again, but then felt a strong pull in his gut shortly after the rush of excitement.

“Phil, are you alright?! What happened, what did they do to you?!” Dan rocked the chair a bit to call his attention more.

There was still no response.

_No_.

Tears filled his eyes before knowing it. “Phil, please.” Dan choked out a sob.

“This is all my fault.” He leaned his head back so he could at least feel Phil’s presence. “I did this to you.” Dan started reaching out to hold the latter’s hand this time.

All the worst possible scenarios flashed through Dan’s head and dreaded to think what Phil had gone through. Especially since it really is _him_ that Martha despises to an excessive scale.

“I’m sorry.” He sniffs. “I should’ve told you. About Martha.”

Dan bit his quivering lip. He reflected on the moment she approached him and threatened to expose everything he did. The intense fear and now the severe guilt and regret of how he allowed himself to be played by Martha, in her wicked scheme to punish Phil for a choice he didn’t even make.

“You were right. I _am_ incredibly selfish. I got you into this mess, and I made it infinitely worse.” Dan pauses, thinking about how he _also_ manipulated Phil. “Oh, god. I made you suffer so bad, Phil. I’m so sorry.” Dan barely made it through the sentence before fully crying, filing the silence with broken sobs that echoed through the empty room, as his guilt finally caught on with his grief.

_He’s such a crier,_ Phil mused. It shouldn’t make Phil’s chest flutter with endearment, despite their messy situation, yet it still did.

As it turns out, Phil wasn’t completely unconscious the entire time. It’s not like he didn’t want to talk to Dan—it was actually the opposite. 

But things happened. Revelations were made, and it hurt like hell. Knowing Martha was a lost cause for redemption after putting him in this predicament, despite offering some help to his sister who broke down when she couldn’t provide any more sensible excuses to cover up how vile her intentions were.

It’s stupid. _He’s_ stupid for still getting carried away by his stupid feelings. Phil should’ve learned a long time ago, ever since he stopped hoping for affection from this family. It’s what originally got him to have this carefree and aloof (albeit empty), lifestyle. 

But now, Dan is making him want to give _living_ another try.

He honestly hates it. Phil knows how stupid people can be when in love (though Phil recently discovered it's one of those things that are easily avoided in theory, after finally having experienced it himself—being _in love_ ). 

Dan is right though, he did put Phil through _a lot_. That being said, it doesn’t exactly get rid of the longing he has for them to still be together. Phil wanted nothing more than to be back in Dan’s arms that were always warm and comforting, but strong enough to hold him and make him feel safe.

“It sounds really bad,”—Dan shakes his head, “but I just want to be honest with you.”

Hearing him again, brought Phil back to the present, grounding him. The feel of his hands occasionally brushing over Phil’s, and the weight of his head with the familiar scent of his hair reassures Phil in the best way under the circumstances they’re in.

“I wanted to come clean right after I took my exam, you know?” Dan's voice trailed. “Well, I didn’t exactly know how, so I couldn’t.”

In hindsight, the instances where Dan was weirdly distant and jumpy made so much sense to Phil now—along with other things since finding out about the whole, naked truth.

Dan sighs, “But mostly because, I didn’t want to.”

The unexpected statement made Phil’s brows shoot up.

“I realised, I stopped pretending a long time ago; that I… wanted you to stay. Losing you might’ve driven me a bit mad—mad enough to charge here looking for you without thinking about Martha, more like an _idiot_.” Dan mutters the last part to himself, then huffs sheepishly. “Those months I had you, definitely made me the happiest I’ve ever been and that made me selfish. I just wasn’t fair anymore.”

A fond smile uncontrollably crept through Phil’s face. It’s nice to hear Dan talk like that, like he belongs to him.

“So now, you’re here. In what literally looks like a prison boat. On the way to God knows where, tied to a chair, stuck with the person you hate the most in the entire world—I’m hoping next to Martha at least.” Dan chuckles bitterly before releasing a deep sigh, the weight of his words finally getting to him. This is too much honesty and emotion, he’s too vulnerable and brave at the same time; he’s not used to it.

“I wonder if you regret meeting me… None of this shit would’ve happened and you’d probably be in your hotel living your billionaire bachelor life.” Dan sighs wistfully, “And I can continue mine: paying debts.” 

Dan was too far off to be thinking about what was around him so he definitely was not expecting Phil’s hand to suddenly move and squeeze his own.

“Fucking whoever and whenever, being a dick to employees and running away from any problem remotely related to the company when it’s literally my job. Doesn’t exactly sound like a life I’d want to return to.” Phil speaks for the first time, his voice a bit raspy from his dry throat and from it not being used for a while. 

Shocked wouldn’t begin to encapsulate what Dan felt. He was just speechless, immediately snapping his head and gawking at Phil.

Phil turns his head and finally looks up at Dan’s eyes, smiling. After Dan’s incredibly long monologue about his feelings, he had thought of a lot of things to say. Though for some reason, nothing comes to his mind now that he has the floor.

He got lost into staring at Dan’s beautiful but frightened eyes. He had bruises and scratches on his face that made Phil’s heart sink, regretting the fact that Martha found him first— but he was still beautiful. Phil was initially scared that when he would look at Dan again, he could only think about how unreal it all was. But now, he can only see home.

Dan is his home. 

Phil _was_ stupid, not because of the reasons he thought before, but because he didn’t realise this soon enough.

  
  



	16. grr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they get out

Nothing, Phil is still not talking. Dan waited for Phil to continue, yet he was just met with Phil’s stare. He broke it first, though. Dan is still in shock because of firstly: the very crude manner Phil just spoke in. Secondly, as it transpired, he was simply listening the entire time Dan was mindlessly spewing out all his feelings, and thirdly, embarrassment because of this. 

But also, Dan didn’t know where to begin with what to say to Phil for the first time since.

He gulped, starting to feel his nerves. “You’re alright?”

“Not quite.” Phil said with a slight chuckle, moving their restrained hands for emphasis.

 _Duh, what a dumb thing to ask._ Dan chewed on his lip, the guilt building up again.

“You came back.” Phil then says, interrupting the anxiety bubble up in Dan’s mind.

They were staring away from each other but somehow Dan could hear the smile in Phil’s voice. Without missing a beat, he replies. “Yeah, I did.” As if it was the obvious and only thing to do.

There was silence again and Dan couldn’t handle it. He still doesn’t know what Phil felt with him being there. In fact, he didn’t know if Phil has even forgiven him— or if what he felt was requited, though mostly the former. 

“I can hear you thinking,” Phil says, amusement still evident in his tone. 

_Hopefully not_ **_what_ ** _I’m thinking_. Dan just stutters, trying to come up with a response. Honestly, it still baffles him how Phil can sound cheerful right now.

Phil laughs, he then pauses before eventually saying, “Did you mean everything you said?”

Dan wanted to ask what he meant by that, although he’s pretty sure they both know what Phil is talking about.

Before he could hesitate even more, he just says, “Every word.”

Suddenly Dan became extremely aware of _every word_ he had just said. While thinking Phil was too knocked out to care about what came out of his mouth, he kept ranting about what went on his head. Most of them repressed because of how unoften he dwells on what he genuinely felt.

Further to his surprise, Phil scoffs then says, “Silly, Danny.” 

Really breaking whatever the mood was with that single comment; Dan remains speechless.

“If I hadn’t met you— let’s be real, I’d be in a far worse situation than this.”

Of the long speech he made, _this_ was the primary takeaway Phil had. It wasn’t the response Dan expected, though it did make him contemplate. He was right. In a way, Dan might have delayed worse casualties that were prepared for Phil by escaping him from his nightmare household— to put it that way.

“So you don’t regret meeting me?” He asked meekly. _I sound like a dumbass at this point_ , Dan thought, but he _had_ to confirm.

Phil shakes his head, chuckling. “Under different circumstances would be preferable.”

This made Dan release a sorrowful smile. 

Although Phil couldn’t see, he knows Dan will never stop from beating himself up so he took it in him to do something about it.

Feeling brave, Phil nudged his elbow playfully, “Dan,”—he took the brunet’s hand from behind, “I still love you.”

Dan froze.

“I felt the most alive in those few months I spent with you.”

 _This can’t be real, he’s too good to me_. Dan felt like crying— again. “Gross.” He teases instead, shaking his head.

“Your mum.” Phil retorts.

Dan scrunched his face, but was now grinning. “You dingus.” He couldn’t bite back his giggle this time, he also doesn’t miss Phil’s behind him.

Both usually abstain from heartfelt moments like these, finding vulnerability too intimidating as it’s something both abstain from dwelling on, and in turn, neglecting the practice of deciphering their honest intentions and emotions. It took a lot of time and adjustment before the pair came to the realisation of how it’s only with each other can they effortlessly joke around to ease the tension as quickly as it rises—steadily arranging a relaxed atmosphere where opening up gradually became second nature to them; a combined effort of their desire to make each other as comfortable as possible.

When their laughs settled, Phil spoke again with a tiny voice. “I meant that too, you know.”

 _You just had to ruin the moment_. It was Phil’s turn to regret saying too much. He figured he hasn’t told Dan those three magic words yet until a while ago, but then he implied as if he already said it before. Now, he’s too nervous to take it back but he knows he can’t just leave his confession in the air.

Meanwhile, Dan doesn’t know _what_ to say.

As much as he wants to embrace the thought of it, the more dominant voice in his brain says it’s Phil’s concussion talking.

Then Dan remembers what PJ and Chris told him.

“Phil, I—”

There was a knock on the door.

Both men snap their heads at the sound, immediately in defense mode.

They hear the noise again.

A knock. Martha nor her goons _wouldn’t_ _knock_ , it won’t— doesn’t make sense.

Dan turns his head at Phil, the movement makes Phil glance back. They exchange looks of apprehension, preparedness and reassurance in the few seconds of shared contact.

Apart from the disquietude, there is still a glimmer of hope that this someone behind the door could possibly help them.

* * *

“Martha, is it really necessary to talk about this now?”

“That’s a bit of a stretch. I mean, it’s not exactly a question for urgency, but more on significance. I simply wanted to make sure you’ve thought about that particular… issue which needs fastidious attention.”

Séan carries a tray containing a serving of lunch as he passes by the common room, overhearing a conversation between Martha and her father.

Nothing had originally piqued his interest until he hears a mention of his boss’ name, with the exact thoughts he’s been having.

“…Phil, where is he anyway?” The voice of the father speaks.

There was a slight pause, before hearing Martha respond. “Haven’t seen him. Probably in his room dozing off, or being unproductive in god knows where.”

 _She may be right_ , Séan considers. Although, he did just come from Phil’s bedroom. Plus, the last thing he heard about him was that he spoke to Martha. The yacht was big, but certainly not big enough for Phil to still be missing after Séan had checked out all the possible places Phil could stray in— knowing he still wasn’t that acquainted with the place yet.

He figured, it’s time to search at the unconventional areas.

Setting the tray aside, he started to look for Phil. He knows Phil hasn’t had the most demanding appetite recently, but there’s still something strange about the way Martha has been acting towards Phil’s presence entirely. It wasn’t like before he’d gone missing. Ever since Phil returned, Martha was more agitated, sloppy with how she presented herself and was more desperate for their father’s attention. 

Séan asked every staff he encountered, but was simply met with the same response. “No clue.” Something in his gut tells him he should be more concerned with Phil’s whereabouts while thinking about Martha’s strange behavior.

He was now at the bottom part of the yacht, a place where he himself was not a regular to. He then stops his tracks upon noticing two unfamiliar men at the end of the hallway. Séan was not the head of personnel or security of the boat by any means, but these men did not look like staff, nor guests. Otherwise, he’d known their identity.

Séan hides behind the corner and observes them further. What’s more suspicious was the way the two men were also wary of their presence, almost as if they were trying to be discreet while simply walking around the hallway.

After they had exited the hallway, he quietly made his way to where they were. It was then he saw excess rooms next to where the engine and storage ones are located.

The first two rooms were empty. Séan started to pick up the pace, knowing he’s alone in an area with two dangerous looking men not far away, who could easily do anything to him and go unnoticed by anyone else.

Worry was really getting to him until the knob of the third door refused to turn.

He lets go. Debating whether to continue investigating what lies behind a locked door of a secluded area.

Then, he decides to just check.

He knocks.

No response.

Séan knocks again tentatively. “Hello?”

Silence again. Séan was about to turn and head back upstairs until he finally hears a response from inside.

“Séan! Is that you?”

That was unmistakably Phil’s voice.

“Sir?” He says, a bit louder this time.

“It’s me! Open the door!” Phil’s voice was strained, Séan notes.

“I can’t, sir. It’s locked.”

Séan presses his head against the door to hear Phil better, waiting on how he wants him to proceed from there. He hears murmurs from the inside, which might mean Phil isn’t alone.

He then hears a particularly loud voice mention a “master key”. 

He glances around, making sure he’s still alone before speaking, “Not really, sir. Although I do have something that could be of help.” Séan fumbles in his pocket.

There was an immediate response. “Be careful, Séan! There are two men working fo—”

Phil’s sentence was cut short by a particularly raucous noise from another door. The interruption made Phil jolt in his seat. No one dared to make any additional noise or movement, in fear of Séan’s presence getting exposed. They then hear a small clanging of metal and scurrying footsteps from outside.

“I hope he made it in time.” Dan eventually says, filling the silence.

Phil breathes shakily, “Yeah,”

“Hey, don’t worry.” Dan spoke in a soft voice, “We’re getting out of here.”

Despite knowing they couldn’t see each other’s face, Phil gives a small smile of appreciation. “That was Séan, by the way.”

“Is he like… your butler or something?”

Phil chuckles, “Steward, but— basically, yeah.”

Times like these, are when Dan is briefly reminded by how extremely different their entire lives truly are.

“Quick thinking on suggesting about the master key, though.” Phil commends. “I wasn’t even sure if we had one.”

“Yeah? I just _mentioned_ it, you know. I didn’t actually know it’d work. It’s ’cause, usually the scenes like this in films is when they’d bust out shit like _master keys_ and _maps_ then proceed to do some really cool action while trying to escape.”

“I can’t be cool while trying to escape.” Phil rolls his eyes. “I’d probably trip over everything. I already do, even when I’m not trying to escape!”

“That makes the two of us— _ah!_ ”

“Dan?!” Phil immediately calls, concerned. It was definitely a pained noise. “Are you alright?”

For a while, it felt like Dan was all fine. Though, it was because he let his guard down and started moving carelessly, the many bruises reminded him he was _not_ all fine.

Phil can feel a tug from the ropes behind him, Dan must’ve winced.

“It’s nothing.” The brunette quickly suffices.

“Bullshit, Dan.”

This was the second time he heard Phil mindlessly swear, needless to say, he was taken off guard.

“You don’t have to lie. I know you’re hurt.” At this moment, Phil started looking around for something— _anything_ that he could find a use for, possibly to help get them out of the ropes firstly.

“Well, okay _yeah_. I can’t exactly do anything about it, can I?” This time Dan can also feel the movement Phil was causing, it made him look around as well, wondering if Phil was looking for something in particular.

Before Dan could ask about it, their fidgeting made the chair wobble, causing Dan to immediately stretch his legs to regain their balance. “Careful! What the hell are you trying to do?”

“Something!” Phil huffs, his desperation getting the best of him.

“You’re panicking, that’s what’s happening.”

“I can’t just sit here and wait while Séan could literally be in danger at any moment. What if he gets caught? And we won’t even know, because we’re just stuck down here.”

Dan was quiet for a moment. Phil was right, they can’t entirely rely on Séan. Just then, the soreness in his abdomen suddenly became more prominent, making it difficult to even sit upright so he waits for the pain to subside instead.

“Dan!”

He hears Phil’s panic-stricken voice call him. He cracks an eye open at this, only to see something shiny reflect back. Dan tilts his head to examine the object as he focuses on it, trying to ignore the dull pain on his abdomen.

From his position, it seems like an oval shaped metal of some sort. Dan stares at it for a few more seconds until it finally clicks.

“A pocket knife!” Dan says too excitedly.

“What?”

“There! At the door!” Dan tries gesturing with his feet. He feels Phil craning his neck to see for himself. “That’s what Séan left earlier, I reckon.”

Dan didn’t expect Phil to still be quiet after just finally discovering a way out of this predicament. He was about to ask what bothered Phil when the latter spoke up.

“And we just found that out now…”

“Yeah, well. We’re both two halves of a whole idiot.”

They share a moment of silence before bursting into laughter.

When their hands were finally free and Dan could now cradle his more bruised arm, thankful the injuries weren’t as severe as it felt. Phil got up to his feet and his head spun as soon as he did, his body becoming more aware that he is in a moving boat without any ventilation. He cursed his travel sickness and tried not to dwell on it in favor of trying to do something to help them get out of the room this time.

He couldn’t.

It didn’t help that he didn’t have his glasses as well. Everything was blurry and spinning the entire time, but now it’s worse. The rush of adrenaline has subsided. He felt pathetic. Dan was in literal pain everywhere while Phil’s biggest problem is not being able to stand properly and walk at least three steps despite being in a relatively perfect condition.

He hears Dan’s voice calling him faintly as his vision slowly got dimmer each passing second. The last thing he remembers was an arm around his shoulders and… was it the sound of the door opening? He felt relief wash over him momentarily before finally letting himself pass out.

  
  


Phil eventually woke up to a view of a white ceiling and soft snores beside him. He shifts in his lying position as he begins to feel a surge of panic in him, his brain alerting him that he shouldn’t be allowed to feel comfortable. Phil looks around to see he was—not just in a room, but _his_ room this time. It eased some of the apprehension in him but he remained on his guard while he continued to survey his surroundings. Still lying down, he turns his head to his side and sees Dan seated on a chair right next to his bed. He was snoring though, his head resting in his crossed arms on Phil’s bed. The sight finally calmed Phil’s nerves.

Something then caught his eye on his bedside drawer. His glasses.

_Finally, vision._

He reaches for them and quickly puts them on, relishing in being granted the gift of sight at long last. Phil sighs contentedly before noticing Dan shifting by his side, probably waking up because of Phil’s not-so-careful movements.

Phil immediately feels guilty, “Hey, Dan. You okay?” He says gently before placing a hand on the younger’s head and stroking the curls in a soothing manner.

Dan grunts then says, “I should be asking you that.” He sits up, scrubbing his eyes.

Phil can’t help but stare. Curse this man in front of him, everything about him is so endearing; it’s distracting. It could almost make him forget about the past 24hours of his series of unfortunate events—given it hasn't even ended yet.

“What?” Dan says, his voice a comforting tone of innocence after having just woken up.

Phil simply smiles back. “Nothing.” He sits up properly and invited Dan on his bed with a pat. As much as he'd rather not break the serenity of the atmosphere, he had to address his worries and confront him with details about the situation. “What happened?”

“Séan.” Dan simply says, as he also properly sits up on his chair. “He opened the door just as soon as you fainted. Quite the timing, actually.”

Phil then felt embarrassed. “Sorry about that—”

“Please.” Dan chuckles, “I’m honestly quite proud you made it that far. Especially considering you couldn’t see?”

Phil nods, “Yeah, I guess I didn’t even notice.”

“That you couldn’t _see_?!” Dan says in disbelief, his eyebrows reaching his forehead.

This time Phil chuckles. It _was_ weird, especially having to point that out loud, but it was in a way he simply couldn’t explain. Sometimes Phil just forgets the world isn’t supposed to be in low resolution at default and that he shouldn’t feel dizzy whenever he turns his head too fast.

Just then, the door to his bedroom opens. Phil jumped, half expecting trouble but quickly relaxed when he saw Séan.

“Sorry to interrupt, sirs.” He places a pill on a small plate and a glass of water at the table. “I brought complementaries…”

Dan gets up, “Right, I’ll go and… _count my bruises._ In your bathroom, over there. I’ll take my time.”

Phil shakes his head, but admittedly grateful Dan needn't be told to give Phil some space to thank Séan himself. Meanwhile Séan continues tidying the room: keeping Dan’s chair out of potential tripping vicinities and smoothing out the creases in Phil’s discarded blanket. When the door to the bathroom finally closes, Phil asks. “How did you do it?”

Séan raises his eyebrows in curiosity, unaware of the direction of Phil’s train of thought.

“I mean… how did you get us out without being seen?”

Nodding in understanding, Séan responds, “It didn’t need a key, sir. It was sealed by a metal bar. I simply had to make sure those men were out of the area before I could make my move as I was certain it would hardly be discreet—even if I tried.”

“Oh,” Phil says. “That’s great. I’m glad you weren’t hurt.”

“I deeply appreciate that, sir.” Séan nodded, like a short bow. “Also, Mr. Howell had given me the details about the two men and we had already called to file a report against them to the local police.” 

Phil can only think about how _all of that_ happened while he was passed out. “That’s some quick and careful thinking.” He commended though his voice trailing off with his thoughts.

Phil couldn't help feeling conflicted as there was still some form of guilt behind his gratitude. He knows he wasn’t able to be of much help especially since he felt mostly responsible for getting them in this mess in the first place.

“Thank you, Séan.” Phil decidedly says, pouring as much sincerity as he could muster through his voice.

“Just doing my job, sir.” Séan smiled politely.

“I’m serious,” Phil insists. “If it weren’t for you—and Dan, I’d probably be dead way earlier.” He pauses. “I’m so grateful I’m not alone. Even though I deserve to be.” Phil says the last bit softly.

Séan also pauses, as if in thought, before saying, “I don’t believe anyone deserves to be alone, sir. Especially not you, who has been, almost their whole life.” He then picks up the tray of empty glasses along with the pitcher of water.

Phil was silent, left to reflect on Séan’s words. Before Séan could get to the door however, Phil adds lastly, “I know you were mostly doing it because you had to but,”—he sighs—“it still means a lot.”

The door was already held open so Phil didn’t expect a response from Séan anymore, but still, the latter turns and smiles ever so slightly before speaking, “I do my job _because_ I want you to be safe.” 

Phil’s chest felt full.

Séan tips his head, “Sir.” Then he exits the room, closing the door behind him.

For as long as Phil can remember, Séan had always been there for him. What he constantly craved from his family: affection, concern and guidance— _he_ provided. Hearing him say it was regardless of a paycheck made Phil realise how even more blind he had been to the people who genuinely cared for him. 

Phil was so ignorant of that feeling that he failed to recognize Séan already being the epitome of a father figure he had all this time. He was too busy looking for a family from his sister who has succumbed to lunacy and his Poor Excuse Of A Father, Phil hardly noticed he didn’t need them to have one. 

And he already has one anyway. Perfectly dysfunctional as it was, Phil wouldn't have it any other way.


	17. damn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> father collapse. into the engine room

They had to act fast.

It was already a big risk, going to Phil’s room _and_ staying there. Although they needed the time to recover—especially Phil, who _fainted_. Now that they’re past that, Dan and Phil are in a rush to make up for the time they wasted by heading to the captain to turn the ship around while it’s still halfway in its course.

Phil however, was not done beating himself up about the wasted time.

“It’s fine! Better even.” Dan was completely unfazed as he doesn’t even bother to look behind at Phil, who continued whining and being in denial about his need for rest earlier. “The captain wouldn’t’ve listened to us anyway.” Dan added, rolling his eyes. He was referring to him and Séan as they had thought of doing this earlier while Phil lay unconscious in his bed.

Despite himself scowling, Phil couldn’t help but agree.

Séan had to go back to his usual schedule so as to not raise any suspicion from Martha, though he managed to tell them how to get to the yacht’s flying bridge— where the steering wheel was located. It wasn’t a big boat by any means, yet it would’ve been unwise to gamble on intuition or Phil’s unstable memories of the place.

Both men were now in the cockpit, nearing their destination until there was a loud commanding voice. It sounded not far from where they stood, like it was just behind their corner. They froze in place.

 _“Well? Where is he?!”_ The voice spat.

Like a push button, the sound made Dan and Phil immediately scurry back inside the cabin, away from the exposed location they previously were in. The sliding door was open ajar; the space enough for them to overhear—but only slightly.

Phil whispered at Dan, “That’s my father.”

“About time he looks for you then, Jesus Christ!” Dan hissed.

“The speedboat?!” Mr. Lester’s booming spoke again. “Why would Phil—”

The sentence was cut by another voice, but it was too far from where they were. It became difficult to make out their words.

Phil voiced out this concern, “What’d they sa—?”

 _“Shhh!”_ Dan, who is closer to the door’s opening, was using every ounce of his concentration to decipher the conversation.

Phil sighs, giving up on trying to listen and instead focused on checking for people behind them.

“If the boat’s still there then he clearly didn’t continue getting on it, did he?!” Mr. Lester’s shout was followed by several coughs afterwards.

“ _Oof_ , that doesn’t sound like it’s just phlegm.” Dan mumbles absentmindedly, analyzing the cough as if he’s still reviewing for exams.

“So? What did you hear?” Phil asks eagerly.

Dan shook his thoughts, “Well, from what I could patch up together,”—Phil huffs impatiently—“your speedboat has been meddled with. It’s off position, and they’re thinking you got on it and are probably trying to get off this ship.”

They exchanged quizzical looks. 

“But,” Phil began, “the speedboat was where we got locked up in.”

Seeing Dan’s muddled expression contort even more, Phil continues. “Not in the same room. It was at the very back of the yacht, I know because I go there a lot—that I remember…” 

Dan merely tilted his head at this, as if to ask “ _and so?”_

“ _So_ , Martha or her thugs probably went there… But why…?” 

There was silence, as they both racked their brains for a logical deduction.

“Maybe…” Dan eventually says, breaking the stillness of the air. “the idea really was to get you off this ship.”

Phil looks up to meet Dan’s eyes, following his train of thought, “But we got out just in time…” Phil trailed off. Neither needed to supply more as they both arrived to the same unspoken conclusion.

“Very well said.” A chilling voice this time, butts in from behind Phil. “Although, you seriously underestimate my loathing for you if you think I’m simply dumping you off in your speedboat for a leisurely ride back to that godforsaken island.”

The familiar clicking of heels approached them in their corner and both men didn’t need to turn to know who it belonged to.

“Martha, enough!” Phil almost shouts. “You’ve lost, alright? Just give it up.”

She scoffs, “You would know a lot about that, wouldn’t you, dear brother? Unfortunately for me, I haven’t had much experience.”

Dan knows either of them could take her down. He figured Martha was stalling until her thugs could arrive to knock them out again, but quickly realised even that is too risky since all of them are right under their father’s nose. Violence wouldn’t paint well for them since they could easily be caught red-handed and would just be an opportunity for Martha to manipulate the situation. 

“Even so, you’re still stuck trying to prove you deserve the position you so desperately desire.” Phil sounded as cold as his words were.

This is a dangerous game Phil’s playing—taunting Martha back. Dan thought Phil would’ve just decided to call attention from their father since Martha’s intentions were more unforgivable than his presence in the yacht. Dan wanted to remind Phil about his father right around the corner, but Phil wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Martha’s fists were clenched, “I wouldn’t expect a daft idiot like you who wastes away his life collecting whores to fill the emptiness to unders—”

Upon hearing the degradation pointed at Dan—who flinched at this, Phil didn’t let Martha finish as he charged at her. He was fuming; not caring about what he could do to her, just that he wants Martha to stop talking—especially about Dan.

Dan was quick enough to hold Phil’s arm before he could reach Martha. Though he had to tighten his grip as Phil refused to settle down even after Dan tried calming him down and enumerated the risks.

The ruckus that was caused is enough to draw attention from the few passengers of the small boat, especially those closest to where they were. Then, as if butchering what little hope there was to keep things discreet, the boat started turning. In fact, its sudden increase of speed forced everyone to cling onto something for a while.

As soon as the boat returned to its regular speed, they hear Mr. Lester’s voice from outside the glass door that was now more than ajar. “What in the bloody name of Mary is going on in here?!” 

Phil and Martha immediately regained their balance to properly face their father, preparing to expose the other first—likely reminiscent to their childhood days. Dan took a while to recover however, a sharp corner dug into one of his wounds when he struggled to look for something to hold onto earlier.

The siblings raced outside of the cabin and were a bit startled as they were met with their father also about to head to their direction.

Mr. Lester was also equally surprised to see Phil for the first time in his wretched appearance since being abducted and dodging another near death experience. Martha was not that far from it as well. Her hair that was normally kept into a neat bun and her properly ironed clothes, displayed the completely opposite condition that matched the deep eye bags on her face.

“You two shouldn’t be allowed to show yourselves to anyone like _that_!” He roared.

The scolding remark seemed to work on Martha so Phil took this opportunity to speak up first. “Father, she’s behind all of it. She tried to have me killed!”

“Please,” Martha sneers. “You’d rather be killed than to leave your little sex slave behind.” 

Phil squared his jaw, ready to retaliate when their father hissed, “Quiet, you two! Who ordered to turn the boat?” He narrowed his eyes at the two in front of him.

This was the first time Dan saw how they normally interacted with each other, and he wasn’t surprised to see how little their father actually cared about both their well-being. And since the question hung in the still air, Dan had given it a thought. Who _had_ turned the boat? But then the answer shouldn’t be that difficult… 

_Séan._

Dan saw how Phil paid no attention to their father’s words as he simply glowered at Martha, though their father continues as if not having any interest about the reason anyway. Dan sighed in relief at this. “Haven’t I told you how busy I am?! I did not need to get dragged all the way here for a funeral that didn’t even happen! I have wasted enough time already.”

If it weren’t for how quickly the following events happened, Dan would’ve expressed his disgust by the implication of Phil being a waste of time but he knew he had to do something—and fast.

Phil grabbed a flare gun lying nearby—which must’ve fallen into its place when the boat turned so suddenly—and shot it into the sky. As soon as it sounded, Mr. Lester suddenly collapsed on the floor and exploded in feeble coughs, his hand clutching his own chest.

It was like something had snapped inside Dan as he instantly approached Mr. Lester and started checking his pulse while Phil froze in shock, watching from behind as Dan loosened his father’s collar and belt. He didn’t know what hit him to suddenly fire the gun, only that he was overridden by his anger and strong conviction to leave his so-called family that he grabbed the thing that he thought would help him do so the quickest. _Curse being this impulsive_.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Phil's voice trembles, handing Dan a small chair after the latter had asked him to.

Dan places a towel soaked in cold water on Mr. Lester’s head. “Yeah, don’t worry. He will be.”

“What happened?” Phil says in a sheepish tone, like a child caught stealing out of the cookie jar.

“I reckon it was an acute cardiac arrhythmia—or, uhh… you know, _palpitations_.” Dan saw Phil’s furrowed eyebrows. “I knew his coughs weren’t a good sign. It’s alright, he’s just gonna need some time for his heartbeat to slow down. Now, as much as I’d like to continue inquiring about your dad’s medical history, we don’t have time.” He points, hastily turning Phil’s attention to Martha and her two bodyguards, now behind her.

“Brilliant little slut you have, Philip. Our old man could use a bit of saving long enough for him to finally pass me the title to everything.” They stopped paying attention to Martha who, as it turns out, used the time to call her bodyguards and were now cornering Dan and Phil to the ledges.

“What now?” Dan whispers, his face now laden with panic as he was backing up his steps along with Phil.

Phil responds by taking his hand. “We jump.”

Dan’s eyes widen and he looks at Phil as if he’s gone as mad as Martha.

“Trust me on this.”

They hold eye contact for a few excruciating seconds before Dan finally nods. 

After running to the deck and quickly climbing the fence, Phil pauses and eyes the men who appeared unsure how to approach them. Phil looked up, shouting, “Keep dreaming, Martha!” And nodded at Dan inhaling deeply, storing a lot of air in his lungs, before quickly jumping off, hand still in each other’s.

They waited for a few seconds for the boat to keep going until they aligned with its rear. Phil then grabbed hold of a steel ladder while still underwater and guided Dan into climbing it first. They reach a small space only fit for a speedboat which was positioned a bit askew from its station.

“This way,” Phil says in between panting, hopping on and off the speedboat just to get to the other side and enter the yacht from the back exit.

Dan couldn’t help but stand there, gaping while drying his eyes and ears of water, simply awestruck at the vehicle, he couldn’t help thinking about how its price could set him up for years—his brain couldn’t do the math right now. Though not completely true anymore, Dan thought. He quickly comforted himself by dwelling on how he now has a full-time job as the career of his dreams so it won’t be as bad.

It took him enough time to snap himself out of his thoughts for Phil to notice his delay as the latter looks behind him.

“You alright?” Phil turns and faces Dan.

“…Yeah.” Dan says, unfocused.

Phil saw Dan’s eyes dart from the speedboat quickly back to him as soon as he spoke, but he decides not to pry on the latter’s thoughts… for now. When they were finally inside the yacht once again, Phil treads stealthily towards the direction of the room they were previously locked up in, but stops short at the nearest door.

The door knob rattles as Phil twists it open, like it had been loosened or beaten to its current condition that did not match the entire door’s. 

Before Dan could finally start asking questions, he understood what Phil had been up to as he was met with a huge mechanism that filled the room. It had something that was pumping and spinning on different parts and steam came out of its polished silver color. 

_The engine room._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost at the end! action scenes just need to be executed properly hihi. thank you thank you to everyone so far :)) i really appreciate the feedback


	18. hhh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> martha's fall. rescued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter i feel is the longest so im sorry about that... tho i honestly dont think i should be. hihi

The sudden rise of temperature became even more prominent as Dan shut the door behind him, though their drenched state made the humidity feel refreshingly pleasant. “Sorry but, do you mind?” said Dan exasperatedly, massaging his forehead.

Phil was circling the huge machine, he momentarily halted his tracks to have a look at Dan, urging him to continue his point by raising his eyebrows.

“What _exactly_ do you plan to do?” Dan gives him a look, gesturing at the place, all while still cautious about his volume. “We’re just going to hide under here until your father finally reaches a relaxed heart rate, he’s going to get up and snap out of it but it’ll be too late, because by the time he gets here, Martha’s goons will have already thrown us overboard and no one will remember we existed.” Dan barely took a breath while speaking.

Phil, on the other hand, had finished a round at the machine and reached Dan by this time. “Dan, love, please.” He held the latter’s arms. “You’re spiraling.”

Dan's plaintive hazel eyes met with Phil’s. “Can you really blame me…” 

“I’m done hiding and waiting. It’s time I do _something_.” Phil says conclusively, but before Dan could ask more, Phil pressed on, “We just have to figure out how to turn this off. I wanted to wreck it but… it might explode or something.” His eyes shifted sideways and he released a sardonic huff of laughter.

“But, _why_?” If it weren’t for his overwhelming confusion in trying to keep up with Phil’s train of thought, Dan would’ve been distracted by the strong grip on his arms and how close their faces were, as well as the revival of the use of the pet name earlier that Dan definitely didn’t mishear.

Phil blinked, “wha—”

“We already turned. Why slow down?”

“Now that she’s back to being in control for the meantime, don’t you think it’d only be a matter of time before she realises we’re off course and turns it around? Trust me, okay? I’m more certain what to do now. I can’t explain—but I just do, alright?” Phil strokes Dan’s arms in a reassuring way.

Sighing, Dan nods. “Yeah, I know… It’s called intuition.” He adds with a smirk, wanting to reciprocate Phil’s efforts of being consoling.

“Oh, _whatever_ Mr. Dictionary.” Phil playfully rolls his eyes and goes back to examining the machine once more.

Dan doesn’t want to get lost in another spiral, this time on how much he misses these small moments where they would lose track of time and everything around them, like nothing else mattered but the others' presence. Dan found himself stuck in a pit of uncertainty pondering about what lies ahead of this whole kerfuffle—he just isn’t ready for that. Dan followed where Phil was, to offer some assistance instead, letting his legs take over his brain.

After a few minutes of fiddling with the machine: loosening some parts and covering some steam vents, from debating whether to meddle with some wires to _actually_ considering to just bash the mechanism and hope for the best… they finally noticed an inconsistency in the usual whirring sound and the constant reverberating.

They were both in a frozen state of shock until the boat slowly went to a full stop. Both of them instantly turned to each other, and that’s when Dan saw it was Phil who managed to yank out one of the battery screws. 

“WELL DONE, PHIL.” 

Albeit Dan’s aggressive tone, Phil felt it brim with genuine awe and commendation. “Thank you.” He felt heat rise in his cheeks. “Come on,” he said, taking Dan’s hand. “Martha would know what’s up soon enough, we can’t stay here.”

He led them out of the room and made a swift decision of running to the direction of the speedboat once more so their exit would be as discreet as their entrance, when he heard—“What. _The fuck_ , Phil?!” Martha’s voice echoed in the narrow hallway.

Neither of them made it to the speedboat in time—frozen in place—instead they found themselves nearer to an emergency exit door for cargo. They turn around and see Martha in an even more frantic and maddened state as well as her trashy bodyguards who closed their arms on each of them from behind. Her hair was everywhere, she even lost her blazer and shoes this time—it was no doubt concerning to see anyone like that, Dan thought.

“Your ability to always top the last thing that pissed me off really astounds me.” Her pupils were blown wide despite her narrowed eyes and she was breathing heavily. “And _no_ , not another word!” Dan had forgotten she sounded like that now, he flinched at her shrieking. In fear, in surprise or in worry?—Dan is not sure anymore.

Then without warning of any sort, the hulking man holding Phil suddenly did something to his neck that knocked the young man out instantly.

“ _PHIL!_ ” Dan called out. He felt his stomach drop.

_No._

_Was Phil…_

_Did he just…_? 

_Please, no_. 

It felt like something slammed his chest, something even worse than a punch as it kept sinking and sinking. His vision blurred as tears flooded his eyes. The sound of his heart pounding filled his ears.

It seemed as though he briefly forgot he was still alive and present. The emergency door was now open and he was being hovered above the vast, turbid waters. Dan was already drowning anyway; his head was spinning at the thought of what had just happened to Phil right in front of him. He felt an overwhelming numbness consume him amidst the whirlwind of emotions tormenting his weary brain.

A forceful blow at the side of his head making his right ear ring, told him he was punched. Still, the pain wasn’t enough to get past the grief and denial both racking his mind. The only thing keeping him from being devoured by the waves at present, was the strong grip of the burly man by the arms—and Martha, who apparently had been talking (which only came to him as muffled noise and a piercing ring from his right anyway). 

This was until the sudden deafening sound of a gunshot from a distance woke him up and got his adrenaline pumping in an instant.

_BANG!_

Dan was not the only one taken by surprise as he was dropped with a thud. He was expecting a long fall that ended with a splash to the ocean, but simply met with a smooth but solid surface. With adrenaline now coursing through his body, he thankfully found enough strength and presence of mind to snap himself out of his disorientation and realise his legs were nearly slipping off the platform. Dan quickly and frantically scrambled to anchor himself to the door’s hinges to keep himself from falling off the boat as much as he can. The big man’s arm, that was holding him merely seconds ago, was now bleeding as he held it in pain.

Without thinking, Dan kicked the injured thug’s leg to tip off his balance—and with nothing to hold onto, fell directly into the sea.

“ _Nobody move!_ ” said an authoritative voice over a megaphone from the direction of the sea.

About three or four rescue boats arrived and surrounded them, the nearest one that contained the person who called and fired the gunshot had people entering the door Dan was barely hanging onto, hoisting all of them—including Dan inside in one swift motion. 

There was a brief tantalizing period of Martha attempting to run away or jump off the boat but it was to no avail as the number of rescuers had already caught on and quickly apprehended her. 

When she was fully restrained, the crushing realisation of her irredeemable failure finally got through to her as Martha let out an agonizing cry, the sound so broken and full of misery that as it echoed in the small hallway, Dan could almost start feeling sorry after hearing her distressed sobs.

Dan had to fight back a grimace as the sounds of wailing and feet shuffling eventually faded away. He had to focus on his breathing as he collected himself and slowly calmed down.

_It was finally over._

While people went on and about everywhere, Dan crawled to Phil whose body was now abandoned by the thug in his personal attempt to also hide or run away. Dan was holding his breath as he placed Phil’s head in his lap, his heart almost leapt out of his chest upon detecting a steady pulse. His eyes instantly welled up in tears but this time letting out a long sigh of relief. Dan cradled Phil’s face and leaned on his forehead. “I thought you were gone.” He sobbed.

A uniformed rescuer approached them and gently laid a hand on Dan’s shoulder. She smiled, “May we have a look at him? Don’t worry, it’s just for a bit. Why don’t you sit down in the meantime?” The rescuer revealed a chair from behind her with a neatly folded blanket placed on top.

Dan was just so relieved to discover Phil alive that even though he initially didn’t want to be separated from Phil, he found himself entirely trusting the rescue staff and stepped aside to sit down on the chair. He took the blanket and was conflicted where to place it as he occupied the chair but instinctively wrapped it around his shoulders. There was an overwhelming sensation at the immediate effect of how much comfort a simple piece of cloth was giving him.

It seemed like the world around him was moving three times faster, or that he was in slow motion… _or both_ , as he was still left reveling in the fact that Phil is alive and Martha is finally gone from their lives. A new set of rescue teams had entered by then, one of them started checking Dan’s vitals as well.

It wasn’t long until another rescuer was leading him to ride one of the rescue boats back to shore and said ’ _passengers were being escorted to safety while the experts and some of the crew would remain for the repairs_ ’. Dan winced guiltily, thinking about the loose battery screw but settled to ask for Phil at once, only to discover he was apparently waiting for Dan at the motorboat already.

“You mean, he’s—?”

“Yes, he’s awake.” The rescue staff gave an encouraging smile.

Nothing else could’ve persuaded Dan to immediately get on the smaller boat.

* * *

Having a decent conversation wasn’t possible on their ride back home. As it transpired, Phil had already been filled in with some of the main details—like the arrival of the rescue team—since passing out for the second time. The rescue team riding with them confided in the aid of the flare gun shot or else it would’ve taken much longer to locate them. It was a daunting thought, on how critical their timing was. Dan hadn't realised until then how much he (and the crew, evidently) owed Phil’s careless impulse to fire the bloody thing.

The journey was quicker than Dan had expected as well; maybe because he felt like he’s aged so much since getting on the yacht. He thought about how just last night he was in a pub talking to PJ and Chris. It seemed like a laugh now. It feels like such a long time ago.

Dan had been aching to speak to Phil and check up on him since finding out he was alive and well, but as soon as they stepped out of the boat Dan was greeted by a crushing hug from Louise.

“You almost gave me a heart attack; you weren’t answering my calls in so long! Oh, Daniel. I was so worried! I didn’t know where you were or what to do— _Huh?_ Oh, sorry.”

Dan peeled himself away so he could breathe some air despite himself grinning at the immense relief of seeing her as well.

He was in the middle of giving her and an officer with a notepad the details from the incident in the yacht when he suddenly remembered he still hasn’t talked to Phil and looked around in search of the tall, dark-haired man.

Dan spotted him not too far off wrapped in a blanket, sitting in the back of a stationed ambulance as he was also being interviewed by a police officer. Phil had this strange expression of worry but appeared distracted, slightly unfocused.

“What’s going to happen to her?” Phil asks despite feeling himself grimace.

“She’ll be in our custody.” The officer’s calm voice oddly made Phil’s uneasiness do anything but subside. “Though, your father has still agreed to press charges against her.” 

“What about my father, where is he—and Séan! Is he here?” Phil suddenly rose in alert, looking around.

“ _Slow down_ , they’re all fine. I just need you to continue where you left off, then you can see them.” continues the officer, extending his arm to invite Phil to sit back again as he tries influencing Phil with his soothing tone while he scribbled in his notepad. It only increased Phil's nerves, perplexed by the lack of worry present from anyone but him.

It didn't take long after another long series of questions and check-ups, that the crowd slowly dispersed. Dan was too exhausted to walk home so he reluctantly but gratefully accepted Louise’s offer to let him stay the night at her place as it was nearer. He also decided not to bother Phil anymore, knowing the man would probably need a lot of space after everything—plus, he was inexpressibly tired.

Food didn't appeal to him. He felt weak, yes… _undoubtedly_ , but he also didn't want to risk putting food in his mouth knowing his stomach would reject it. Needless to say it was a tough time trying to get through supper under Louise's prying eyes so that she wouldn't discover how he'd been dumping his food back onto the serving platter and avoid raising concern or hurting her feelings about not wanting to eat her cooking altogether, Dan knew better.

To top it all off, that night, despite the many protests from his aching muscles and how heavy his body felt, Dan simply found it impossible to fall asleep. It was utterly excruciating; if only he had enough energy, he would have at least had the satisfaction of grumbling or cursing or whining in his frustration, but alas, he could only sigh, reposition and will himself to grow even more tired as possible until his mind would have no choice but to surrender and succumb into sweet unconsciousness.

He had been catching a few naps but still felt restless; he kept turning and shuffling on the large (average sized for him) sofa he laid in and stared at the window where the sea was still in view from Louise’s house.

Finally, Dan had to admit defeat in this battle. He begrudgingly got out of bed to have a calming walk on the beach to help physically tire himself out instead.

He was wearing Liam’s clothes, which were loose in terms of width, but thick enough to withstand the cold breeze from the sea as he walked along the sand. He was limping as well. It only woke him up further. It was plain torture… but at least he gets a nice view—he tries convincing his dazed 2am brain (or at least it _felt_ like 2am).

Dan wasn't aware he had already stopped walking as he continued to listen to the constant rushing sound of waves and let himself be lost in the serenity of the scene. He gladly entertained the idea of falling asleep while standing in the middle of the beach. And maybe it was his rising drowsiness, but it was almost hard to imagine how just hours earlier, he would’ve drowned in the same calm sea.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the sea breeze and exhaling a puff of cold air as he looked up at the stars. He then had the urge to lie down on the sand so his neck won’t be strained, and so he does. Besides, no one else would be weird enough to take a 2am stroll on a beach and lie on the rough sand like he would, right?

Wrong. 

“People would mistake you for a corpse, mate.” A voice interrupted.

Dan quickly sat up, startled. He ignored his throbbing head scolding him of his sudden movement.The waves were loud yet he could hear the voice very clearly which meant the person must be extremely near—

“Hi Dan.”

Dan snapped his head to look behind him and saw a smiling Phil. 

Phil sat beside him and joined in on watching the waves draw back and roll up the shore. Dan was simply admiring the man’s presence as he trailed his eyes around Phil’s face. He had the same restless eyes as Dan probably has, smooth strands of dark hair framed his face and there were hints of a stubble starting to grow; Phil was completely undone. The past 24 hours had been unkind to him and it was evident in his features, but Dan can still see the same handsome man that caused him to almost fall into a pit of inescapable despair when he thought he'd lost him for good. Dan noticed a soft smile as Phil glanced back at him.

“I don’t know what to say.” Dan says, still in his dazed state. 

“Then don’t talk.” Phil simply says and pats the sand, inviting Dan to rest his head again. Dan’s mind was racing but was happy to oblige. As soon as Dan had settled, Phil shuffled beside him and laid on his chest. 

Although Dan meant “I don’t know where to begin.” he sighs instead, feeling the familiar rush of fondness as he instinctively wraps an arm around Phil. 

“This okay?” Dan asks.

Phil hums, snuggling closer. Their height and overall build were not that far from each other’s but Phil felt even smaller in Dan’s arm.

As though the evening couldn’t get any more calming; the rushing sound of waves harmonizing with their slow breaths, the luminescent view of stars scattered above, and the comforting, now guiltless feeling of Phil in his arms, it could almost fully distract Dan from the coarse sand on his back. There was still one other thing that was keeping Dan’s mind from completely drifting into sleep though… 

“Phil?”

“Hmm?” Phil replies absentmindedly, stirring slightly from his earlier position.

“Why are you here?” Dan asks, concern evident in his voice.

“Because you’re warm.”

A breathy giggle escaped Dan, though it comes out a bit raspy. “No, you dingus. I meant _here_ —here.” He said, feeling a blush rise in his cheeks despite himself.

The interval was quite questionable for a supposedly simple question, “Same as you.” Phil eventually responds.

There was a twinge in Dan’s chest. “Can’t sleep?”

“Yeah.”

Dan started stroking Phil’s hair to make up for not knowing how else he could express his empathy.

“Things are going to be very different now, aren’t they?” Phil says after another stretch of silence.

“M’ afraid so.”

“There’s going to be a trial, you know.” Phil continues.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, the officer said father was _‘quite adamant on pressing charges.’_ ” Phil says, doing an impression of a bored but gruff sounding man.

Dan’s throaty chuckle was abrupt, “The officer? You mean you haven’t spoken to your…?”

“Don’t want to see him either.” Phil finishes.

Dan didn’t want to ask why, he was too cautious about taking it slow with how much Phil was willing to open up about, knowing the man might easily be intimidated or put off by the sudden intrusion in his space. 

They let themselves share another period of comfortable silence until Dan’s hand that was stroking Phil’s hair slowly and eventually slid off. That was when he became aware of how he had almost completely dozed off, which made him crane his neck to check and see if Phil hadn’t held back in trying to stay awake as much as he had been.

As soon as Dan had caught Phil’s eyes that were initially closed, they opened. Phil then started stretching his arms and repositioning himself, groaning.

“You were asleep?” Dan says in disbelief, though guilt tugged on his stomach.

Phil replies with a sleepy chuckle. He was facing away from Dan as he sat up, Dan then followed.

“Don’t you think it’s time for you to head back?” Dan says gently.

“You want me to go?” Phil spoke in a small voice.

“I want you to get proper sleep with the few remaining hours until dawn because I know you need it as much as I do, Phil. I think we both more than deserve it.” He never wanted to part but he knew he was right.

“But,” Phil sounded like he was building up the nerves for whatever it was he wanted to say next, his mouth opening then closing.

Dan tilted his head and focused on Phil’s avoidant eyes, urging him to continue.

He sighs shakily, “I just want to be with you.” Phil looks up to meet Dan’s eyes.

The freezing air was suddenly immeasurable to the warmth surging in Dan's chest.

“It shouldn’t be a bad thing for me to want this—to want _you_ , not anymore.” Phil says, more determined this time. “I really meant what I said before, in the yacht...”

Dan was keenly aware Phil was pertaining to his blatant yet seemingly accidental confession back then.

“And I’m not asking you to say it back—at least not if you don’t want to—I just want you to know I really meant it, even if it’s hard to believe.” Phil was back to looking everywhere else but at Dan, becoming even more anxious to how Dan was taking everything, he then decided to keep going so he wouldn’t think about it too much.

“I know there are so many things that I should be worrying about more; like father or the upcoming trial or the _sodding hotel_ .” He sighs, “I just—I don’t know. I can’t sleep or do anything, all I know is, I don’t care as much about all of those things than to make sure you _know_ , you are worth everything to me, Dan. I don’t want to lose you.”

Dan finally met Phil’s eyes, despite the latter’s face shrouded in the darkness.

“And I’m just really sorry for dragging you into this mess in the first place. I understand if things are too confusing for you to respond in any way.” He then started hastily standing up to leave and save himself of further embarrassment from rambling too much. Only Dan was now on his feet, quick enough to hold Phil’s hand and pulled it so they could face each other. 

His mouth was open like he was also struggling with what to say, but before any word could come out from either of them, Dan leaned in and pressed his lips on Phil’s.

There had been so much Dan wanted to say, to clarify or to reassure Phil’s messy thoughts, but his 3am brain couldn’t keep up anymore. Though he felt what he resorted to was unarguably the best option he went for as Phil slowly relaxed into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chapter was supposed to end sooner but i thought we all deserved some fluff... surely ive made the right decision to extend it :"D
> 
> next is the last?? woahh it's still so unbelievable for me.. thank you to everyone so far <3 i appreciate all of you so much this has truly been a fun ride!


	19. yay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dan confess. phil's fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be warned: gratuitous use of rEfeReNcEs...

“That’s it?” Louise’s hands were on her hips and she looked like she was about to give Dan a strongly worded lecture.

Dan shifted his eyes sideways and shrugged. “I mean _come on_ , it’s not like I— _why are you even coming at me?_ ” Louise’s demeanor was making him unnecessarily defensive when he was simply telling her what had happened with Phil that night. 

It had been almost three days since. Dan was now keeping and disposing his and Phil’s old files at Louise’s diner. After successfully getting employed at a legitimate hospital, (he also made sure it wasn’t the one where he found Phil in) Dan was taking his time finishing up so he could find an excuse to keep seeing Louise as often as he can, since he still hasn’t adjusted properly to his new schedule.

Louise tuts, her arms were now crossed. “I’m just saying, you hadn’t really discussed your relationship. Though it was quite nice you both had that moment alone…"

Before Dan could argue ‘What was there to discuss?’ Louise pressed on, “And it took you _three days_ to tell me this as well!” She said in an accusatory tone.

“Yeah, well…” Dan sighs, sheepish. “I was busy with the applications... and I was doing a lot of thinking, alright?”

 _“ Thinking_?” Louise repeats, giving him an incredulous look before quirking her eyebrows and deciding to drop the subject for now. “So anyways, wasn’t the trial going to be held today?”

Dan hums, pretending to be in thought. “Oh, yeah. Probably even happening right now.” Truthfully, it hadn’t escaped his mind ever since Phil sort of invited him to attend, “for support”—he had said. It would be happening later in the afternoon and Dan had run out of days to think about whether to attend or not before he knew it.

“Well? Why are you _not there_? You make it sound like neither of you were saying goodbye to each other, yet you don’t seem to be seeing each other anymore.” Louise who had been holding back her lecture, sounded like it was threatening to pour out once more.

Fortunately, Dan didn’t have to defend his actions further as it didn’t take long before Louise couldn’t ignore the demand in work. As it transpired, it appeared to be the start of the busy hour for diners and restaurants in the vicinity. “Just give him a kiss for me when you see him, ‘kay sweetie?” She teases as Dan was heading out the kitchen, he just rolls his eyes playfully. 

“Shut up.” He responds in a sing-song voice.

When he was almost at the door however, he hears: “Oh hey, Dan!” 

He looks behind and sees PJ wearing a huge grin, it looked like he had been in the middle of construction work but was currently among the queued customers. 

“PJ, hi!”

When PJ noticed Dan’s curious glance at the queue, he says “Just lunch duty. The lads and I are celebrating.”

“Oh, finished a project?”

“Yeah, a rooftop patio this time. Pretty epic how it turned out.”

“That’s really great. I’m sure Liam was mostly excited for the celebratory splurge?” Dan grinned.

“Right, yeah.” PJ’s laugh was short. “So uh, how’re things with Phil? Hopefully better?”

Dan sighs, _what’s the point in lying to PJ_? And maybe that's just the comforting thing about PJ, he knew not the whole story but just enough for Dan not to fear much judgement on his decisions (precisely how Louise had been earlier). Besides, he desperately needed advice anyway and PJ's timing is just impeccable… “He asked to see me this afternoon actually.”

“Oh, cool.” PJ nods, “ _Although_ … why am I getting the feeling that somehow, there’s still an unresolved tension going on…” He narrows his eyes at Dan almost theatrically.

Dan made a sheepish face.

“What’s wrong, mate? You don’t want to see him?” PJ had a more concerned tone this time.

Dan scratched the back of his neck. “Of course I do. I just don’t know how to face him, you know?” He looked back up at PJ after expecting an immediate response but not getting any.

“Honestly.” PJ then simply says.

 _Honestly…_ The word echoed Dan's mind.

It’s like something had clicked. How could he have allowed his overthinking to get the best of him? It’s like what Phil said, ‘ _It’s time I do something_.’ He at least owes Phil some truthful clarity, especially after their last meeting.

“…you really know your words.” Dan commends, nodding appreciatively.

“Ah well, I try.” PJ beamed but waves a hand dismissively.

“Man, I really don’t deserve getting these gems of advices for free.” Dan shakes his head sarcastically.

PJ laughs, “Let’s say a drink once you’ve sorted this all out, yeah? Bring Phil too so I could hit him myself.”

“And Chris will too, of course.”

“Ohh, mate. Chris will _drag_ that poor bastard.”

* * *

The ‘trial’ wasn’t exactly the kind Phil had imagined in his head. Turns out “pressing charges” didn’t necessarily mean having a hearing in court; it was mostly signing a lot of paperwork with a bunch of lawyers.

Over the course of three days, he had the chance to see Martha—but it didn’t go so well. It was like she was an entirely different person now. At the detainment centre where she was being evaluated whether she was still too unstable to be admitted to prison, Martha got instantly agitated upon seeing Phil. After that incident, she hadn’t been cleared to attend the said trial so they would just have to deliver the many signed papers to her afterwards. He was _this_ close to blaming himself for her outcome.

It was a conflict of sadness and a somewhat liberating feeling, seeing and knowing about what’s coming for Martha. Though, it did inspire him to finally do better and become a competent chair in the company.

Long discussions of legalities and terms of ownership were what composed of Phil’s afternoon. His regret of not being prepared enough to still need to listen to these, drove him to pay attention at first, but when it was the third hour (or at least felt like it) he was now, more than anything, plainly bored.

He was sent outside not soon enough, the lawyers and his father being left inside by themselves. Phil had stopped being attentive anyway, he was just following whenever someone said “sign there under your name.” or along those lines so he was more than thankful he could finally stretch his legs.

Phil was walking along the corridor of more lawyers, uniformed policemen; some ushering a cuffed person, or distressed groups who he guessed were family of people that were going through an actual trial. 

He was just in the middle of imagining how different it would’ve been like if he were also to be put in those types of hearings, when he spots a familiar face on the nearest bench.

“Dan?” Phil grew even more surprised to see him in a corporate get up for the first time. It was just a plain grey suit (with an unbuttoned blazer) he noticed the slacks seemed too fitting as well, particularly in Dan’s thighs.

Dan cleared his throat as he stood up and approached Phil. “Eyes up here, pervert.” He said, but had a mischievous smirk.

Phil’s mood instantly shifted as his face lit up. “You came!”

“Stop sounding so surprised.” Dan grins.

Phil raises his eyebrows, “You’re telling me your decision to go here was built on 100% conviction ever since I asked you?”

Guilt gradually rose through Dan’s expression as he shifted his eyes sideways. “Alright, sure. Whatever, Lester, you know me too well.”—Phil giggles—“I brought you coffee, if that even is allowed?”

“Ah, yes.” Phil rushes to where Dan was seated before and found two cups of store-bought coffee. “Finally, I’m literally dying here.” 

“This is concerning.” said Dan as he watches Phil take two large gulps. “I thought you were glad to see me, turns out you were just ecstatic for some coffee, I see how it is…”

Phil chuckles, almost choking on his drink. “What can I say, Howell, _you know me too well_.”

“Oi, you can’t just steal my—”

“Oh yes, I can.” Phil gives him a smug look.

Dan just retaliates with a mocking noise and rolls his eyes, earning a laugh from Phil. The latter then gives Dan the other cup of coffee.

“Thanks for being here, Dan—and for the coffee.” Phil smiled.

“Of course.” Dan says distractedly as he noticed Phil’s tongue poke out in the process. He felt something warm in his chest, only just discovering how much he apparently missed witnessing this adorable subconscious habit. After managing to compose himself, “How’re you doing so far anyway? Noticed you dress more like an executive now… the glasses really add to the look.” Dan emphasizes by eyeing Phil’s patterned navy suit.

Phil’s pale cheeks turned pink. “Oh, thanks.” He awkwardly adjusts the pertinent, “Listen, I’m really tired of sitting. Do you maybe want to go around for a walk?”

“Erm, sure. We can pretend we’re lawyers on break.” Dan says, standing up, Phil laughing behind him.

It had just been three days, but their catching up went on for so long. They spared no details joking around and talking about how Dan was now officially employed as the career of his dreams as well as Phil’s emotional visit to Martha. Laughing around to listening and comforting each other was just so natural for them as they also easily found themselves missing these relaxed conversations between them.

Dan was just telling Phil his most recent visit to Louise when he realises how their topic was mainly Phil that time. There was an abrupt pause in his talking for a while.

“What happened?” Phil was clueless, but quick enough to notice.

“Well, she says hi.” Dan specifically remembered her teasing, and how she didn’t exactly say it like that.

Phil definitely found Dan’s pause suspicious. He narrowed his eyes at Dan, “Is that all?”

Not expecting Phil to be skeptical, Dan stammers. The opportunity has been opened; _it’s literally now or never_ —Dan thought. He then finishes his remaining coffee in one long sip and takes a deep breath. “Phil,” he began.

“Dan…?” The sudden drop of lightheartedness in his tone was contagious enough to make Phil nervous.

“I’ve given a lot of thought about the things you said to me that night. I figured, I owe you a shit-load of honesty.” Dan felt like patting himself on the back for finally following people’s advice.

Phil became flustered. “Oh, it’s alright. No pressure or anything.” He chuckles nervously, bracing himself for a possibility of rejection— regardless of how small the chances may be; one can never be too careful.

“That’s the thing. I’ve had nothing _but_ time.” Dan sighs. “I realised how insanely stupid and unfair I had been when I just let you go that night without giving you any sort of clarity about what I felt when you were being nothing but honest and vulnerable with me.”

Phil reached out to hold Dan’s hand ever so softly. “I’m here.” He saw a flicker of a smile on Dan’s lips.

“I got scared. That maybe what you felt was just something temporary… maybe you were still concussed and you didn’t know what you were saying. I don’t want to play with your mind anymore, Phil. I don’t think I could ever forgive myself—hated myself for it.”

They had stopped their tracks and reached a playground that had only a few children that were slowly dispersing as the sun began to set. Phil leads them to an empty bench and they sit down.

“Now I can finally tell you this, knowing you’re fully awake.”—Dan mumbles as he laughs slightly at the memory of pouring his heart out to a seemingly unconscious Phil. “I care about you a lot, Phil. As if it’s not fucking obvious enough.”

Phil beamed at him. “I care a lot about you too.” He said softly.

“No— _shh_. This is my moment of appreciating you.”

Chuckling at this, Phil rolls his eyes fondly. 

Dan takes a deep breath, “I love you, Phil.” He looks up at the man in front of him and was almost blown away by how beautiful the sight was. Phil was staring at him with the softest expression—apparently as speechless as he was, his silhouette was being illuminated by a mesmerizing blend of warm colors, the view of the sunset was more visible as it slowly sunk in the horizon behind him.

“You make me the happiest.” He eventually continued after catching his breath, “I’d love to be with you for as long as we can, if you’ll have me.”

“Forever…" Phil leans in and presses a lingering kiss on Dan’s forehead, "that was the plan, right?”

“Ugh, what a sap.” Dan says despite the blush that was spread across his cheeks and his wide toothy grin.

“Your mum.” Phil was so close, he felt like he was being drawn by Dan’s lips as he watches the latter giggle at his retort. 

Dan then looks down. “I’m just not sure I want you to choose me over your life of wealth and comfort. Given of course, your family absolutely loathes me after what I did and it would be reasonably unacceptable for us to be together whilst you remain technically under your father’s eyes. I honestly don’t blame them—”

Phil interrupts him by placing his forefinger to Dan's lips. “I don’t care what happens to me and my fate in the company or my father.” He slowly slides his hand off to hold Dan's warm ones. “I actually expect him to cut me off, honestly. I won’t be surprised if that’s the verdict I’ll come back to.”

Dan jolts at the realisation, “We’ve been away for too long! They’re probably looking for you, Phil!”

As if on cue, they suddenly hear hasty footsteps approach them. 

“Mr. Lester,” A voice said from behind but stops as soon as he notices Phil wasn’t alone. “Ah, Mr. Howell is here as well. This would make things highly efficient then.” Séan steps into view.

Phil immediately stood up, “I asked him to come. Is father looking for me? What’s wrong?” Dan follows behind Phil and places a hand on the latter's shoulder reassuringly.

“My humblest apologies for the interruption. It’s just that I was sent to deliver an important message addressed to both of you.” Séan responds politely. 

“From father?” Phil asks, dubious.

Séan nods, “He had predicted Mr. Howell’s presence you see, to which I simply had to express my astonishment.” He then cleared his throat, as he unfolded a letter. “ _Phil_ , _You and I share the same concern_ ; _you’re profoundly incapable and possess absolutely no interest to be granted the privilege and title of full ownership for the company_.”

Phil looks down in guilt. It was true by all means, just that it hits different especially by how blatantly it was put—he had been trying after all. Sure it was only a few moments at the start of the meeting… but still the intention was there, even for a while _._

“ _Truthfully, especially with your reckless actions lately and as well as discovering these aforementioned qualities myself, it forced me to forfeit any chance you had with inheritance_.”

Phil’s eyes widened at this.

“’Any chance’… Is he _disowning_ Phil?” Dan’s voice was increasing in volume as disbelief and worry was getting the best of him.

“No, no…” Séan quickly says.

“And why the hell is this even written on a letter? Where’s the old man? Did he leave because I was away for too long?” Phil demands.

“He may have simply wished to express these concerns via letter instead.” Séan answers, “Being aware of the entire content might enlighten us of that thought, I pressume.” He suggests.

“You’re right.” Phil said begrudgingly. “Continue, Séan.”

Séan nods once more. “ _However_ , _I do owe Howell my life after the threatening incident at the yacht_ . _So as a form of compensation, I will allow you to have the decision of keeping the hotel. Although, it will become autonomous from the company and you will no longer be considered as a part of the committee— effective starting today_.”

Dan and Phil looked at each other. “Does this mean—?” Dan eventually asks.

“I get what I want; I don’t have to choose between you or them! And this is all thanks to you!” Phil exclaimed and cupped Dan’s face upon saying this. “No wonder he refused to say this in person; his pride won’t allow it.” Phil scoffs, “Doesn’t matter, I’d rather not face him either. Is that all, Séan?”

“Yes. Congratulations, sir.” Séan was folding the letter. “I shall excuse myself now.” He glances at each of them before saying to Phil, “Should I be needed, a call would suffice sir.” He gives Phil a knowing look before walking away.

“I can’t believe it.” Phil says, distracted. “I feel like I’m being pranked on, this is too good to be true.” He squeezes Dan into a tight hug, unable to contain his excitement as Dan just giggles in his arms.

“Dan, love.” He releases Dan though his hands remain at the latter’s arms, Phil stares at his brown eyes. “Will you come live with me?”

Dan stares back at Phil and smiled. “Let’s make your house a home?”

Phil raises an eyebrow, “You know, I feel like my memory is 17x sharper now. I definitely recall you saying that the first time I set foot in your apartment.”

“I’m flattered you still remember how I welcomed you into _our_ humble abode, _love_.” Dan winks.

“You’re crossing a line there.” Phil warns jokingly.

Dan shrugs. “Wouldn’t have had to if you didn’t first.”

“Whatever, Howell.”

“You love me, Lester.”

Phil just tilts his head, “I do, very much so.” He watches Dan instantly get flustered.

“Shut up.”

“Make me?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aand thats a wrap!
> 
> thank you for sticking with me in this adventure! i sincerely cannot express how much it means to have an engaging audience for each update in my first ever chaptered work <3 ily all
> 
> come say hi on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aimitachibanana)


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